Heartbreak

Chapter Ten: No More Secrets

(Thackery)

"I'm not okay," I say facing the reality that getting everything off my chest was actually something I needed. A sudden release of everything I let build up through the years and never dealt with, but it doesn't change the fact I'm still not okay.

"And that's okay," Dominick replies. "Not everyone is okay twenty-four seven. Neither do you have to be. I wasn't okay when Ben left. I was hurting just like my dad and I put all my efforts into hating you and your dad. I needed to fixate on something like you're doing with your father."

"I thought you didn't hate me anymore?" I ask confused beginning to wonder if having a friendship with Dominick is something that will be impossible if he still doesn't like me for something I didn't do just like Roman.

"I don't because like I told you before it was never about you. It was about me understanding why Ben left my dad and me. I wasn't okay but I am now. Yeah, things are different in my life but I've gotten through it. I've moved past a lot of things in my life." he replies. "I've moved on from being upset over something that happened years ago."

"My relationship with Roman wasn't years ago." I remind him.

Will it take years to get over my failed relationship with Roman? Will it take longer for me to ever want to believe in love again? Can I believe in something when my one example of a relationship is filled with pain and regret?

"I know it was back in June and yeah it's going to hurt. Things in life hurt but that doesn't mean you can't find new things in life to make you happy. I can't speak for my cousin he's..he needs to work on himself if he truly can hurt you as he did. And as for your father keeping secrets, that's something you need to talk to him about. Just ask him point-blank and don't let him brush you off but after maybe you need to find something to help you move on." Dominick says and maybe he's right.

I need to stop fixating on other things. Needing to find something to distract myself when I should be enjoying my life unlike how I spent the summer drowning in my own sorrow. And maybe just maybe talking to my father can help me understand everything our family kept from me because they thought I was too fragile and scared to know.

***

I turn my phone on as I walk up the driveway. Expecting plenty of text messages and missed calls so I'm not surprised when it begins to vibrate over and over. I don't feel like looking at them when my mind is already set to talk to my father. Get the truth out in the open once and for all since it's been bothering me since I talked to my dad and I remembered everything.

I remember Arron and how much I trusted him growing up. I remember the blood everywhere in the darkness as I took in the scene of someone I knew hurting my kind. I just can't grasp why my father is okay with it and I think that's what bothers me the most. Am I just too sensitive? Too sheltered to see the benefits we get from Oliver's pack?

When I get to the door it doesn't take long for me to be greeted at the door by my father. "Sammy, we need to talk," he says and I can't agree more we do need to talk.

"I know we do. I want to know everything. I don't want there to be secrets hidden from me anymore. I'm not the little boy you still think I am." I'm tired of being the youngest everyone chooses to shield me from the truth I should know and today is the day I finally learn the truth.

He sighs taking a seat at the kitchen table, "You were never supposed to find out the way you did. You were supposed to find out like your brothers when the time was right so you could understand. You were supposed to stay inside and not go out and find Arron."

"But I did." I did it's all I can think about is I knew the truth this whole time but I forgot.

"I know you did because I found you out there. You were terrified and collapsed in my arms. You didn't wake up until the morning and when you did you thought you had a terrible nightmare and I let you believe it. I wanted you not to be scared of werewolves because they aren't scary monsters. They are just like us given a gift to shift."

"Then why do we sacrifice our own kind?" I ask.

"Sometimes in life, you have to make sacrifices to survive. Our kind used to be terrified living in fear every day and I didn't want that anymore. Yes, Oliver and I came to a civil agreement years ago he wouldn't hurt our kind and we wouldn't bother him but there are other packs out there Sammy. Others don't care which is why I had to make an arrangement with Oliver offering him something in return. Most of our kind that is given to them don't shift. They live their life as a rabbit and understand their life is protecting the rest of our kind." he explains to me.

"Were you ever going to tell me the truth?" Would I have ever found out or would I have been in the dark forever?

"I wanted to but the longer time passed it became more impossible. You didn't need something else to worry about," he replies. "I don't want you to hate me for something I thought was for your own protection."

"It hurts that you couldn't tell me the truth and I had to find out on my own I was lied to all my life."

"Sam-"

I interrupt him before he can finish what he's going to say not done with what I have to get off my chest. "I'm not done. It hurt that you never accepted my relationship with Roman. I know it's over now but the fact you couldn't hurt me. It hurt me you knew I was pregnant all these years ago and had the nerve to say you were happy I lost the baby. It hurts me even more that I lost another baby I could have had right now and what if I hadn't lost the baby on New Year's? Would you have not accepted your own grandchild? All because of what? Dad? He hurt me too but he's my dad. He tried being there for me and you weren't. You were full of hate you didn't realize would always haunt me. It's not about the secrets you kept from me. It never was that was a distraction from facing you and the real problem between us. I want a relationship with you, your my father but first I want you to feel sorry. I want you to tell me you regret what you said. I need you to understand it's going to take time for me to be okay."

Warm tears rush down my cheeks finally having said how I truly feel. I finally let it out how much it hurt me when I heard him say he was glad I lost the baby when I was in shock and gutted at the same time. I lost something I wasn't aware existed but wanted more than anything once he or she was gone. I wanted both of them because they should be here now.

"I'm so sorry Sammy. I didn't know if I'd known...I don't know." he moves his hand through his hair, "I was hurting when your dad left. I said things I didn't mean and I shouldn't have. I wanted to protect you and I went about it the wrong way. I want you to be happy now and in the future. Maybe I should have tried harder to be there for you through the years and supported you when you needed it. I'm sorry and I promise there are no more secrets."