Heartbreak

Chapter Three: A Look Through Someone Else's Eyes

(Thackery)

Two hours have passed chatting - well listening mostly - while hanging out by the lake not doing much. Not many people having showed up on a warm day at the park and in a way I enjoy the entire park to ourselves. Then again maybe more people would make right about now, staring off into the distance, less silent with tension in the air obviously suffocating the air around me.

The moment I wasn't looking forward to is here. Leaving me by myself sitting at the table on the bench with Dominick alone while Jasper took off  talking on the phone away from the table. Apparently it's something important but not terribly important just to walk away and talk on the phone.

From what I could hear it was his sister on the other end and once I could hear I blocked it out. I don't want to be eavesdropping into his conversations because I have good hearing. I've done too much eavesdropping through the years I really don't want to anymore.

Well unless it has something to do with the secrets I still don't know involving my family.

Of course that isn't going to happen anytime soon. I doubt my father will tell me anything when he made it clear he was fine with ignoring my questions and give me bold face lies to my face. But what did I expect?

Do I really think he would tell me? Do I really think I'm old enough to know the truth my brothers know more than I do? Am I so naive to think it would be as easy as asking a simple question and he would tell me everything?

No and I can't even ask my dad because talking to him about my father has him feeling terrible for what he did to our family. And how can I forget how my father feels by ignoring my dad because it hurts him too much after all the years they spent to not be together? I don't even think my father has tried or wanted to find someone else to be with. I think he's in the same boat I am. Relationships as happy as they start always end with sadness.

Though I wonder, why he is eager for me to move on like my relationship with Roman was nothing? Simply because he didn't like him? Because he cares or is it a distraction from the real truth I hardly know?

None of my brothers seem to have questions like I do and none of them appear like they are willing to tell me everything hidden in our family. We exist able to shift into our rabbit form thanks to our father but what I don't understand is why we work with werewolves? Why? What do we benefit and what do they get out of it? Why did it take until I was fourteen to find out they existed? What else does?

I guess I'll never know unless I find  out myself. Dig out the truth from those I know and around me but until then maybe I should face what is right in front of me instead of becoming distracted by my thoughts of the conversation I had with my father and return back to where I am now.

Silence filling the air except for the sound of ducks in front of me. Making noises as they talk to each other yet I have no words to say to Dominick besides, 'I'm sorry my dad tore your family apart. If it makes you feel any better he destroyed the family life I grew up with too and left us. Abandon my father, my brothers and I.'

Yet those words don't seem to be enough to lessen the pain, abandonment and anger he had to go through and built up against my family, me included. It sounds more like a weak attempt at an apology lacking the emotion and regret I do feel for something I didn't do. I feel terrible though. I feel like I was the person to do something wrong when I didn't, my dad did.

There is nothing I can say to fix or reverse what was caused. Ben left the family he had for years. Left Dominick and his dad on their own as he took off to be with my dad who was married and had a family of his own. Neither of them cared about what they were doing. My dad left my father, my brothers and I. It wasn't expected, at least for me, I didn't see it coming. I was blind to the past then and now. I still sometimes wonder why two grown adults with families of their own could take off. Why leave everything for something else, a chance at a future with someone they thought they could be happy with?

I heard love can make you do crazy things but what they did by leaving out of state with a mess in their wake is selfish on their part. No amount of times my dad tries to tell me, explain Ben told him they are meant to be together because he's Ben's mate doesn't make it okay. My dad was already in a relationship when they met and then started an affair that led to a fire my father caused. I think most days - actually every day I block out the truth of what I want to hear and don't. Except for those stubborn feelings I shared with Roman through high school that haven't completely went away.

If he walked back into my life this minute I wouldn't run back into his arms though. He hurt me and nothing can change my mind on the way I view love these days and I'm not running away from anything. I just know love is painful sometimes by what I have experienced and seen through other people.

A look through someone else's eyes gives it away. Roman had told me when we were  together Dominick had been mad. He was angry at me for Ben, who he grew up considering his father and not just a step father, leaving. He was upset not for only himself but how it had hurt his dad during the aftermath of it all. They had a life and then it was turned upside down.

"I'm not mad at you Thackery if that's what you're thinking. I never hated you." he says staring off straight ahead as I turn to glance at him before looking back at the water. I'm not sure what to say and as I hear him sigh I know he's not done talking. He has more to say, "I was never mad at you. I was angry with Ben and...well your dad."

"I was too. I didn't know about it. I didn't know about anything including the fire."

"I know you didn't and that's why I don't blame you. Stuff happens right? Years have gone by and that's in the past. I'm...passed it. I mean I really can't blame Ben or your dad for getting together."

"Why not?"

"Because my dad was never his mate. They were friends more than anything else as much as I wanted to convince myself they were in love. One sided relationships never work forever though. Sorry about Roman. If it makes you feel any better you can do a lot better than someone I used to consider a good cousin." he says as I hear footsteps walking over, Jasper.

"Hey, what did I miss? What are we talking about?" Jasper stops walking not on the phone anymore while the conversation between Dominick and I comes to an end.