Push (Josh Ramsay)

Push...?

A/N this is it

*Josh POV*
I pushed through the blue hospital doors.
I pushed through the blue swarm of doctors.
I pushed my way into her blue room.
There she was on the blue sheets, covered in a blue blanket, with a blue tube sticking out from her mouth.
She was so lifeless. So pale. She was nothing like the Mabel I knew.
"Can he be in here?!" Nurses shrieked.
"Yes. Let's give him some space" her teary-eyed mom choked out. She left the room along with a nurse dressed in blue.

The hospital brought back so many memories of love and destruction.  As I gripped her hand until my knuckles were blue, I could only think of the last time I had been here. I had failed her. I promises to love her. To protect her. But all I did was push her away.
"Mabel. I don't know if you can hear me. But uh. I love you. I'm sorry. I'm so sorry." I choked out, erupting into sobs.

I soon felt a gentle hand on my back.
"I know" her mother's kind words spoke.
"How did this happen? Why?"
"Uh. They say. They say she wa-" she choked, eagerly darting her eyes around for a nurse in attempt to make a silent plea
"Mabel was presumably lost in the woods while in withdrawal from heroin.  Without medication, she was unable to walk or regulate her body temperature. She was in a severely hypothermic state when they found her.  This unfortunately caused her organs to begin shutting down. Despite our best efforts to save her, she suffered extensive brain damage. Her EEG currently shows minimal brain activity and she is not expected to wake up." the nurse explained.
"Oh" was all I could muster.
"I'm so sorry" she consoled.
"Can she hear me?" I whispered.
"Based on the EEG, probably not." She spoke, her tone sorrowful.
"So Josh. I didn't want to do anything without allowing you to say goodbye." Her mother spoke after gathering her thoughts.
She nodded to the nurse who began walking us through the steps of removing life support.
"Do you understand?" She asked, bringing over papers for her to sign.
"I can't" she muttered, then adding, "I can't sign a paper allowing you to kill my daughter"
"That's okay" the nurse reassured her. "I can bring you some brochures for long term care if you'd like" another nurse added.
"I just don't know" her mom cried out.
"That's also okay, this is a hard decision. I want you to think it over,  feel free to take your time. Just think of what would be best for her"
I turned to her mom and hugged her, looking into her blue eyes and nodding.

It was then we realized maybe it was time we stopped pushing, and instead, pulled.