Joey’s pov:
I never knew life could be so easy.
You see, in life, you always have to DO things. I used to think that was what life is about, doing things to please other people. The greatest example of that was me acting straight to please people. I luckily came to the realisation that, sometimes, you just have to relax and do NOTHING. Like for example, lying next to Shane, lying next to Shane doing absolutely nothing, lying next to Shane doing absolutely nothing and yet feeling like I’m improving my life. We weren’t even talking to each other but we didn’t have to. We were enjoying each other's silence. I guess you can say that you love someone when the silence between the two of you doesn’t feel awkward, instead it’s comforting and peaceful.
Joey: Shane?
Shane: yeah, joey?
Joey: This is nice, lying here with you, it feels nice, just want you know that.
Shane smiled, I could tell that he was thinking the exact same thing.
He pecked my cheek and got out of bed.
Joey: where are you going?
Shane: well, we can’t stay in bed all day!
Joey: I wouldn’t mind, though!
Shane’s lips formed a smirk on his face.
Joey: but you don’t have any plans for today, have you?
Shane: yes I do!
He said it like he was surprised I didn’t know he had plans,he hadn’t told me he had any, had he? I might have forgotten but I was quite sure he simply didn’t tell me.
Joey: oh yeah? What plans?
Shane: well, first of all I'll have to take a shower cause, let face it joey, I stink.
‘oh, what a major plan’ I said ironically.
‘Shut up’ Shane said as he couldn’t wait to tell me the rest of his plans.
Shane: oh and I have a date tonight!
Joey: a date? A date with who? Your mom?
Shane shot me a glare look before he replied with a ‘no’
Joey: no? well, who else then?
Shane: with you, stupid!
Joey: what!?
Shane could see I was surprised. He could also tell that I wasn’t craving for a date with him and that my ‘what’ was more like a ‘please Shane, tell me you’re joking’ ‘what’, than a ‘oh Shane, that’s so sweet of you’ ‘what’. He seemed disappointed by my response. I knew he wanted to be nice and sweet but I didn’t want to go on a date with Shane.
Ok, that’s not true, I wanted nothing more than to go on a date with Shane. It’s just that, the fact that I would have to go on an actual date, out in public, with Shane aka my boyfriend, it scared me.
Shane: I want to go on a date with you.
His voice was not confident like it had been before, it was small and full of doubt. He knew I was going to reject his invitation. Well, invitation, more like a demand but that didn’t matter now.
Shane’s pov:
He was going to say no, I could feel it, I could see it! why? Why didn’t he want to go on a date with me? He liked me right? He told me he was in love with me! Then why doesn’t he want to go on a date with me?
Joey: Shane…
He sighed and I knew what was coming next, I didn’t exactly know what he was going to say but I was sure it would involve a no.
Joey: I… I don’t know
Shane: You don’t know? You don’t want to go on a date with me?
I said it in a disappointed way but I sounded as if sure he was going to give me a good explanation also was I offended for some reason but I tried to hide that and tried to make sure he wouldn’t hear it in my voice.
Joey: N-n…no
That was it, no explanation at all, just a ‘no’.
Joey’s pov:
no, I said no, I wanted to say yes so badly but the thought of that just made me really anxious, I wasn’t ready to just go out there and be happy with Shane. I loved Shane but I just couldn’t make myself say yes to this. I wanted to tell Shane why, tell him that I would love to go on a date with him but that I was simply too scared to do so but all I could bring out was a no. His face twisted in confusion, a sad kind of confusion. He was expecting me to say something else but I didn’t.
Shane: so, you’re serious?
He sounded less calm and a little angry. I didn’t respond.
Shane: you’re not even kidding me? You genuinely don’t want to go on a fucking date with me!? Joey? Joey look at me!
I looked at him, his eyes were filled with tears. I was just sitting there, numb, looking into Shane’s almost desperate eyes, still not being able to bring out a word.
Shane’s anger died down and he was just sad, confused and a little broken now.
Shane: Why? Why don’t you want to go on a date with me?
He said it softly, like the chances of me actually answering were higher if he just spoke to me instead of yelling out of anger. I tried to swallow past the lump in my throat to give him an answer.
Joey: I-I… I just can’t
Shane didn’t take that answer quiet well.
Shane: you just can’t? you can’t?
He rose his eyebrows in confusion and then frowned them, making him look really angry, sad and also a bit disgusted. His eyes filled with tears.
Shane: you can’t go on a date with me? Why the fuck can’t you go on a date with me?! You told me you liked me! You said you were IN LOVE with me! we just had sex, in my bed, TWICE for god’s sake and now you can’t go on a date with me?! Joey I really, really thought you were different, you told me you wouldn’t hurt me like this!
I looked away and didn’t respond, I didn’t know what to say, my mind was going too fast.
All of a sudden Shane stopped sobbing and he took a deep breath. He now had this really cold look on his face and it scared me.
Shane: you know what? just forget it. I’ve had enough of this, I would like you to leave now.
My eyes widened. He wanted me to leave.
There was no expression on his face, just a cold look that i had never seen before. I walked over to the door and left, he didn't care anymore, there was no use staying anylonger, so I left
YOU ARE READING
(shoey) A long love journey
FanfictionShane's gay and in love. Joey isn't gay, for all he knows, or for all he wants to know and he's definitely not in love Unfortunately Shane knows better but Joey isn't going to admit one of his darkest secrets just like that.
