I Thought We Were Friends

9: First Time

Clem's POV

Shoot Arvo

Anger boils inside me as I raise my gun at his head. I didn't take his stupid medicine, Jane took his gun, but look at all the guns they have! It's just a small little gun.

I shoot into his skull. I just killed someone not attacking me. I'm.... I'm a muderer! 

A shooting pain goes through my shoulder. I tighten my grip on the baby so he doesn't fall to the ground. I've been shot!

"Clementine!" Luke yells.

"You fucker!" Kenny yells, shooting the guy who shot me, in the head.

Kenny gets so mad he gets out behind the tree and shoots the other guy behind the rock in the forehead.

"Clementine!" Kenny yells, running to me.

"Bonnie, get the bandages! Mike, Clem and me are shot!" Luke yells.

My ears ring as my eyes start to close. But I need to....stay...awake.

***

"Clem, Clementine!" Lee says.

My eyes open...in the RV? But I thought I was shot on the ground. I look down to see me as my 8 year old self.

"Lee?" I ask.

"It's just a bad dream, sweet pea." He says.

Is this just a dream? Was I just dreaming that Lee died?

"What was it about?" He asks. "Duck?"

"He's bit." I say, looking to him.

"We don't know how this works yet." Lee says. "Maybe it's like a cold."

"It's not like a cold." I say, knowing what's gonna happened.

"No, probably not."

"I feel bad." I say.

"Why?"

"I called him a crybaby, when I hid the bug under his pillow." 

"Oh, that's okay, honey. You didn't mean it." 

"Lee?"

"Hmm?" 

"Why did Lilly do that to Carley?" I ask.

"I don't know. She was sad, Clem. That can make people angry sometimes."

"Have you ever been that angry?"

"One time." That's when he killed that guy before I met him. I remember Carley talking about him in the drug store.

"Clem, people don't always make sense."

"How come?" I ask.

"Cause bad things happen to everyone." He says. "And it's hard being yourself after they do." 

We look over to Lilly. 

"What do you think? Should we have left her behind?" Lee asks.

"Maybe. She's kind of crazy." I say.

"I don't know. She wouldn't make out very long on her own." Lee says. "I don't know if we did the right thing."

"How can you tell?"

"Well, it's not like math, Clem. Sometimes there's just isn't a right answer."

"I hate math." I say.

"Me too, sweet pea." He says. "But part of growing up is doing what you think is right for the people you care about. Even if sometimes, that means hurting someone else."

"I don't want to hurt anyone." 

"It's not that easy." He says.

"I'm scared, Lee."

"What can I tell you to make it better?" He asks.

"That you won't leave me."

"Oh, I wouldn't do that. I promise. Everything's gonna be alright."

I start to cry a little. Oh, Lee, why did you have to die?

I put my head under his arm and his wraps it around my shoulder.

"Now let's try to get some sleep." He says.

"Okay, Lee." 

I drift to sleep in his arms, I missed this a lot. I know that seeing Lee is a dream.

But I got to see him.