47 - Love was blind Part 2

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   Chapter 47

I woke up on my sofa. In my house. I rubbed my eyes and stretched. I honestly can't remember how I got here. But i'm here. And it's much better being here than at that hospital. I sighed and felt next to me for my phone. I unlocked it and found bare missed calls from cashel. My phone was on silent which is why I didn't hear it. I looked at my lockscreen.. a picture of me and Cass playfighting on my bed. My phone vibrated as cashel rang once more. I answered and waited for him to speak

"Hello?"

"What?" I said

"Where the hell have you been man? How are you releasing yourself  from hospital?" He said

"What do you expect me to do? I ain't staying in that hospital. I ain't staying in the same environment where MY BEST FRIEND DIED!"

It hurt me saying that. It didn't feel real. I hanged up and threw my phone across the room. I closed my eyes and let the tears fall. I couldn't remember the last time I cried. I never cried. Ever. Not even when I'm angry. But right now I feel as if a part of me is missing. Damien took away my life, my world. God knows if he was still alive. I will get revenge. On his family.. on someone he loves. Elizabeth? She's fake anyway. Never really liked her. How can you not come to visit your bestfriend? Fair enough he's your cousin but still? She never even called. I screamed out in frustration.

I got up and left my house. I crossed the road ignoring calls from people I knew and unlocked Cassie's door. I shut it behind me and walked around. Her scent was still around. I stared at the pictures of her around her house. I stood in the corridor where we kissed last time. Where we teased each other. And then I walked into the living room. And then I remembered the times we would cuddle up in front of the tv at night. Then I pictured the day me and Cashel found her unconscious on the floor. Bleeding. Blood everywhere. HOW COULD I NOT KNOW SHE WAS BEING ABUSED? I swear I wanted to punch myself. I always saw the bruises. But stupid me assumed it was her clumsiness. I left the living room and strolled upstairs into her room. I sat on her bed. Remembering the times we would cuddle up. I would kiss her. She would try to resist.. but then kiss back.

I went back downstairs and into her kitchen. I looked into all her cupboards until I spotted some alcohol. I grabbed it and drank it from the bottle. I made my way into the living room  and sat on the sofa. I was gonna fcking drink to my death.

*

I woke up on the sofa feeling so sick. I looked at the 2 empty alcohol bottles on the floor. Cashel walked in looking at the bottles.

"What are you doing?" He said

"What does it look like?" I said trying to get up.

"Our bestfriend has just died and you're here already getting wasted are you mad?" He said

Naa. Dead.

"Dead. Don't act like you cared about her. You knew NOTHING about her" I said

"What? I didn't care about her? Are you dumb? Of course I cared about her. I LOVED her" He said

"Love?" I scoffed

"Yea that's right. I loved her. I was IN love with her. But I could NEVER show it. Why? Because she was always on your DICK! She loved you. And you was TOO BLIND to see it. Instead you just pushed her out the way and put other girls in front of her" He said

"Shut the f up. You don't know nothing."

"Really? Because all them times you stopped talking to her I was the one who would have to make sure she was alright. I had to make sure she was safe. You didn't care about her at all-"

"YES I DID!" I interrupted

"YEAH? THAT'S WHY YOU WERE ASHAMED OF YOUR FRIENDSHIP WITH HER? YOU LET ALL YOUR GIRLS TRED ALL OVER HER LIKE SOME DIRT? YOU MESSED UP HER MIND FAM. YOU CORRUPTED HER."

"Don't talk to me like I don't know her." I said as calmly as possible

"FAM.. You didn't even know she was being ABUSED! She lived right across the road from you and not ONCE did you go and see her. You were jealous. But it's all good when it's you. You expected her to just watch you move from girl to girl. After everything she had done for you ..you still treated her like shit. And you have the cheek to tell me you cared for her? AND NOW SHE'S DEAD YOU WANNA ACT LIKE YOU TREATED HER AS LIKE AN ANGEL? I WANTED TO WIFE HER FAM. BUT BECAUSE YOU'RE MY BROTHER AND I LOVE YOU AND I KNOW HOW YOU FELT ABOUT EACH OTHER I NEVER MADE A MOVE. BUT NOW SHE'S GONE AND I DIDN'T EVEN GET TO SHOW HER HOW MUCH I LOVE HER SO F YOU SMIRKZ"

I saw red. I punched him straight. He stumbled back abit. He chuckled.

"Is that how you're moving yeah?" He said

I couldn't speak. I was too angry too. And if I did my fist would have joined in.

"I'm done with you fam" He said barging past me and walking out.

I sat back down and rubbed my head. I needed another bottle. I got up and stumbled to the kitchen and grabbed another bottle before leaving the house.. Eventually I managed to cross the road safely and unlocked my front door. I walked in and heard a noise in the kitchen. Wtf? I strolled into the corridor and saw her sitting on the table. What the hell was my 'mum' doing?

"What do you want?" I said

"Son," She said looking up "I heard about Cassie. I'm so so sorry" 

"WHAT do you want?"

"I came to see how you were. I heard you got shot and-"

"Cut the bull mum. I ain't a kid anymore. Which prick kicked you out?"

"Noone darnell. Please I've stopped all of that. Look I know you're hurting and you're drunk I can see but I just want to talk to you"

"TALK TO ME? ABOUT WHAT? HOW YOU HAVEN'T BEEN IN MY LIFE? I'VE HAD TO GO THROUGH MOST OF MY LIFE WITHOUT YOU! I have JUST lost all I had. And now you wanna come back waltzing in like everything is fine?" I shouted

"Please don't cry hunny" She said with tears in her eyes

I didn't even realise I was crying until I sniffed. I turned around and wiped my face. I heard her get up, and then I felt her touch my arm. Suprisingly I didn't react. I didn't have the strength to. I needed Cassie back. I slid down against the cupboard and sat down.

"How the hell am I supposed to live my life without her mum?" I asked

 "Darnell, you'll get over it. Obviously not now but eventually you will. I promise" She said

"But I love her man.."

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