married life ♡ niam au [COMPLETE]

day one hundred // sorry

"ni? sweetheart, are you awake?" liam's voice is gentle, hand warm on liam's back rubbing him awake.

"no. come back later," niall mumbles.

liam laughs. "come on, baby."

"shhh." niall's hand fumbles, eyes still closed, until it reaches liam's mouth. "shhhh. don't speak. cuddle."

liam lets out a small laugh, but he lays down, spooning his husband. niall lets out a happy sound, snuggling closer, smushing his cheek against his husband's chest.

"such a tired little thing," liam murmurs, rubbing niall's back. niall hums in response. "wake up, baby, please? i have a surprise for you."

niall opens an eye. "a surprise?"

liam winces. "well, part of it. dr. carnes wants to see you this morning, but only for an hour or so. then i can give you your surprises."

"surprises?" niall questions, stressing the plural.

liam facepalms. "shit. i didn't mean to say that."

beaming, niall rushes to get ready.

- - -
"so how are you doing? big scare the other day, huh?" dr. carnes isn't as smiley when they walk in, but it's no surprise. anxious is an understatement for how he's feeling.

"yeah. definitely," liam responds. niall scoots closer to him almost subconsciously.

"niall, when i asked, you said you'd never been a victim of abuse."

niall looks up from his hands. "huh?" liam loops his arm around him.

"when what happened was explained to me, it sounds like a reaction based on emotional abuse."

liam nods, to niall's surprise. "i think my drinking triggered it," he mumbles.

"i..." niall is shaking his head. "no? i've never been abused."

dr. carnes sighs. "niall, what do you remember from a few nights ago?"

"uh..." niall pauses, thinking. "i remember freaking out about liam. i remember harry and zayn coming to get me...i remember zayn carrying me to the car..." he pauses, brow crinkled with confusion. "i don't remember seeing you at all!"

"you were pretty out of it," she says grimly. "you kept saying things about someone named tyson?"

niall winces. "my brother. he...had a bit of a drinking problem when i was a kid. i don't know if i'd go so far as to call it abuse..."

"i would," liam interjects. niall twists to look at him. "niall, if my being drunk sets you off to the point of not remembering what happened, whatever happened with tyson had to have negatively affected you."

"he's right," dr. carnes responds. "i'm going to give you a list of ptsd therapists, just to have if you're interested. otherwise, i wanna do a quick ultrasound to double check how the baby's doing."

niall shrugs. "sure, i'll take the list."

the doctor writes it out and hands it to him. not much later, niall is laying on his back, cold gel on his stomach, looking at the swirl of stars that is his baby. his baby, a galaxy, a mass of art that he created. the lump in his throat appears again.

"all is well," dr. carnes beams, and niall is so relieved he could pass out.

- - -
niall is yelling with delight when they get home. his brother, his friend who protected him for so long, through all the dark shadowy bits of his childhood, stands in the doorway.

"greg!" niall shrieks. he's so excited he tries to get out of the car without taking his seatbelt off first. he's trapped there for a second, squirming, until liam unbuckles him, laughing the whole time. niall nearly knocks greg over by the time he reaches him. "greg!" he gasps again, tears in his eyes.

on greg's hip is his son, theo, nearly three years old. his tiny eyes are starry with admiration, chubby hands touching niall's face.

"hiiii," the toddler sings, and he giggles when niall kisses his face.

"hey, ni," greg says finally, smiling. liam comes up behind niall, smiling, too. "i heard you needed some cheering up. nothing we can't handle, right, theo?"

theo nods emphatically, clapping his tiny hands together.

- - -
"you really love him," greg says quietly to liam. they're in the kitchen, liam making dinner while niall and theo are doing a puzzle on the floor.

liam nods. "i really do...his freak out was my fault, and i wasn't sure how to fix it..."

"i wasn't sure about you two at first, you know. i'd heard things about you, and i wanted niall to be protected..."

"niall changed me." it's the only way liam can explain how different he is, and it's true. "he is always changing me. every day he makes me softer. every day i am more in love with him." his voice softens as he says it, and he grows embarrassed. he'd never meant to say something so tender in front of his brother-in-law.

greg doesn't laugh at liam, though -- that's not how greg is. instead, he claps his hand on liam's shoulder and says, "liam, you're good for him. you're changing him, too, it's amazing to watch. you were a good boyfriend to him and you've been a good husband."

liam's eyes are stinging. "damned onions --"

greg laughs. "idiot." then his voice goes gentler. "i know you blame yourself for what happened, but it's not your fault. i tried to protect niall from tyson as best i could, but i couldn't every time. you didn't know all the details, and everything is fine. stop beating yourself up."

liam's eyes are really stinging now. one of his cheeks is wet. "are these onions strong to you? they're strong to me," he responds, a weird quake in his voice from trying to hold down the sobs. greg has seen right through him, has hit every nail on the head, and he is struggling to keep it together.

greg folds him into a hug. liam barely manages to wrap his arms back around him. he's surprised; greg isn't very affectionate like this. "you're so used to telling niall it's okay that you don't know how to hear it yourself." greg gives him an extra squeeze. "it's okay, liam. it's not your fault. it's okay."

liam is choking on words unspoken. "but i --"

"no. stop trying to find a loophole and listen to me, you ass." greg pulls out of the hug. "it's okay. everything is fine. forgive yourself."

so liam steps back from greg, goes into the living room. he steps over theo's puzzle, careful not to step on any pieces, drops to his knees. gathers niall in his arms.

"what's wrong?" niall gasps, but there aren't words, not for this. liam just needs to hold him, and he grasps him tighter.

"forgive me?" liam gasps. he can't comprehend how niall possibly could.

"there's nothing to forgive," is niall's response. he strokes liam's hair, his face, soothes all the red, aching places in his chest.

theo has his thumb in his mouth, eyes wide, curious. "all okay?" he asks, his first words to liam all night. he offers liam a puzzle piece.

liam takes the piece, leans over, kisses theo's button nose. the toddler laughs, the sound a song. "all is perfect."