Short stories +++

The Monster Who Rescued The Little Dog Before X-Mas

Here's a little bit of my crazy randomness from when my body still thinks it's 3:22 in the morning, even though my location says it's only 20:30...

So, get ready for some awesome!!! I hope.

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Once upon a time there was a monster. It was Christmas time and he decided to rescue a little dog. The end.

There is (of course) more to this story, and here is the more:

Once, in a city of no known name or place, a monster was feeling happy. It was Christmas time and the monster knew that he would be able to eat lots of happy little kids while he was pretending to be Santa. Really he was Santa, but only by name. You see, this Santa was not jolly and puffy and fun. No, he was evil, fat and not fun at all (unless you tickled the inside of his stomach before the monstery-ness of him disintegrated you, and even then he wasn't very fun).

His parents were normal human beings, and so was he, but he had acted like a right little monster for so long, that one day he became one. All his friends started to run away from him, well they would have if he had any, but he didn't, so nobody ran away. Nobody even realized that he had changed at all. So he moved to another town to start over. Everybody hated him in the new town, so he ate them all up. Then he moved on to the next town, the same happened there. But in the third new town, he decided not to talk to anybody, and nobody even noticed he was there, so he didn't eat them. This went on for a couple of years, with the ocasional child going missing, and the farmers going out of buisness for lack of livestock, until Christmas one fateful year. 

The monster loved Christmas. He would hang up stockings (made out of skin and fur from his previous victims), he would decorate the dead tree (with bones and skulls and earwax candles) and he would cook himself a nice dinner (that is to say, he would eat three or four children on his route and then cook up something to help digest them). All in all, he had a grand time.

But this Christmas, things were going to change. The monster, or Santa if you will, did not know this yet, but he would soon realize that not everything was to go by plan. So Santa set off on his Christmas route, unkowing of what lay waiting for him.

At midnight, he reached the first house and snuck down the chimney. He had taught the villagers well, he thought as he glanced at the table set with all sorts of deserts. At first, there had only been a small plate with one or two cookies at each house, and possibly some alcohol or milk. So he had had to rummage around the cupboards and cookie jars and then eat lots of children to compensate. The next year, they put out more cookies, so he only had to eat the children from the houses with the least cookies and booze. The year after that, the villagers had learned their lesson, and he got lots of cookies and other desserts, but he still needed the protein that children had so much of, so he still ate a few kids.

He ate the food the residents of the house had put out for him, and continued into the living room. A grat big tree was placed in the middle, underneath lay his prize. The presents! He shook them and listened to the rattling and poked at them and when he found something he liked, he would put it in his bag. When he was done ransacking the house for tasty treats and presents, he broke the front window and climbed out. Little did he know that this house was inhabited by a little dog, and that the little dog had followed the monster out the window.

The monster went on to the next house, unaware of the little dog hiding in his bag. So he climbed down the chimney and started the looting of the second house. When he was done, the monster started thinking. He would always enter a house through the chimney but break a window to get out. He didn't know why he did this, he just did. He climbed up onto the roof and then down the chimney. But to what avail? Exercise?

He decided to try something new at the next house, so he broke a window on his way in. This ended in the children of the house waking up and coming down to see who it was, so he had to eat them. The monster didn't like eating children because he had to, he liked to eat children because he wanted to. So he ate them, and feeling grumpy, he stormed off to the next house in a bad mood.

He decided to climb down and up the chimney on this house. Children were full of energy and the monster just wanted to get some of that energy out, so he climbed up and down the chimeny two times more than necessary. But he forgot to bring his bag down with him and the little dog climbed out.

When the monster was half way done with ransacking the house, he heard a little yelp. He broke a window and climbed out to see what the yelp was all about. When he got out he looked up and saw a little dog hanging from the roof.

The monster thought about what to do for a moment, then he decided to rescue the little dog. The monster had always wanted a little dog. Everyone said they were sweet and nice. Little dogs always looked cute. So the monster rescued the little dog and took him home. He didn't even finish his Christmas rounds.

He was a very good dog.

Especially with tomato sauce.