Short stories +++

Small but Smart?

-‘Yap! Yap! Yap!’ I bark. This is the most exciting day of my life. The famous Hollywood actress, who is my owner, and I are on our way to a crime scene. She has played in many crime movies, and it must have convinced the police because we have been called in to investigate. Oh! I am so excited! I just want to jump up and down and say yap, yap, yap! Wait, I am already doing it. Hah! Take that all you dogs that said I could never become a well-known police dog. I knew I could do it. And I bet that my actress believed in me too. Wahoo!

-‘Pant, pant, pant…’ wow. I cannot believe that I am really here. OK, calm down. I need to act professionally around all these trained police dogs. Wow, wow, wow, wow, wow I am so excited that I cannot even explain it. OK, breathe in, and out. In, and out. In, and out. There are very many people here, and not all of them are police officers. I bet that one of the people here is the thief or murderer or whatever they are. Wait for me! I have to run to keep up with my actress.

First we get taken away from each other to get styled. I am used to this, but did not really think we would need it at a crime scene. Well, I guess famous people always have cameras hanging around them, so they always have to look good. As a matter of fact, I did see some cameras out there. It takes a while, but in the end we are all ready.

-‘Action!’ I hear someone shout, and he is right, there had been some action here. Then my actress says:

-‘I got your call, what happened here?’ I guess she had seen to many fake crime scenes to want to sniff at everything, but I had not.

-‘We think there was a murder, but we can’t be sure. It might have been a suicide. We found the murder weapon over there, do you want to take a look at it?’ says some guy I can sort of remember; I think his name is something pit-bull or just Pitt, or Bull. Anyway, he looks like a cop.

-‘Bouncy and I will take a look around.’ Yeah! That is me. My name is Bouncy and I am a Chihuahua. Bouncy the police dog.

-‘Yap! Yap!’ I yap. As we go over to the evidence, I feel very important. This is my chance to show the world what a great police dog I am.

-‘Smell this, Bouncy. What do you think?’ my actress says and gives me the gun. Hmm… It smells like peanut butter. Kind of like the guy who shouted that there was action here, except he forgot the ‘there was’ and ‘here’. Well, not everyone can be perfect. I try to tell my actress that I think it was the man who smells like peanut butter. But there is one problem; we do not speak the same language.

-‘Yap! Yap yap. Yap!’ I say, but I do not think my actress understood me because she tells the Pitt-Bull cop guy that

-‘The prints are wiped and Bouncy says that it smells sort of like tobacco and rosemary.’

-‘Yap yap!’ NO! I bark as loudly as I am capable of. This is wrong! I thought she would mess it up, but not this badly. Tobacco and rosemary? What is she thinking?

-‘Well, it looks like Bouncy agrees. She is the best dog for this job.’ Pitt-Bull cop guy says. I feel proud when he mentions me. Although I find it a little weird; I can understand them, but they cannot understand me? I have to go to plan B. Hmmm… If only I had a way to tell them what I really mean. I decide to take matters into my own hands. Even though I have not been trained as a police dog, I decide to bite the suspect. That is sure to make them understand.

-‘Yap! Yap! Yap! Yap! Yap! Yap!’ I bark as I sprint towards the action man. He is sure to get some action now! He is hiding behind a big camera, but I can see him. He is focused on Pitt-Bull cop guy and my actress, so this is my chance. I go straight for his leg. It would be cooler if I went straight for his throat, but I decide to go for a place I can actually reach.

-‘Cut!’ he says, but I keep running towards him, I do not care if he wants to cut me up. ‘Where has that little rat gotten to now? Would someone get the rat?’ What rat is he talking about? I have not seen a rat since last year.  And then I am all focused on biting his leg.

-‘OW!’ action guy shouts. ‘Get this rat off me!’ What rat? All I can see is his trousers and myself. Help! He is shaking his leg so hard I am about to fall off his leg. Oh no! I fell off. I am soaring through the air. Wahoo! I feel like a birdie. ‘I believe I can fly, I believe I can touch the sky’ I sing to myself. Uh-oh! I forgot about the landing part! HELP! I do not want to die as mush on a crime scene.

-‘I’ve got Bouncy’ says the Pitt-Bull cop guy. ‘Good’ I think. I like being gotten when I fall.

-‘EEK!’ my actress screams, she is obviously terrified, like me, that I am going to end up as mush on the crime scene.

-‘Got you.’ Pitt-Bull cop guy says as he catches me in his strong arms. If he were a dog, I would definitely be in love with him.

-‘Let’s get you safe and comfy at home. No more playing detective for you’ says my actress, in a soothing manner.

We are home now, and I watch the news. Some guy named Brad Pitt and my actress have to postpone the premiere of their new movie, because of a stupid little dog, who tried to bite the director. I am glad that I would never do anything that stupid!