Subjugated

Chapter Fifteen: Hole in the Heart

  After he puts me down, I must ask, "It seems that you and Zachary have some form of a rivalry. Why?"

  He sighs. "It's equal parts jealousy and competition. We're both jealous of each other's looks and ability to seduce girls. He wants my eyes, and I want his wholesome looks. He wants my cleverness and ability to come up with witty lines quickly. I want his ability to attract even the most wholesome girls. To add to this all, years ago, I bet this pendant on my neck that I'd be able to sell more than him by the end of a month. It was a friendly competition, if you will. I won and to this day, he is still angry about it, though Lord knows why."

  I smile. "So you two are the master seducers of this town?"

  "Yes and no. The girls are attracted to him, but he doesn't seduce them. They just flock to him, like birds to bread. He doesn't act on their desires, doesn't indulge them. I see if they're attracted, then I actually seduce them and let them act on their fantasies.  I can do whatever I please, for I live alone and have no one telling me what to do. I am a free man, owned by no one."

  Just from these words, I have him pinned. He's arrogant and overly-confident, yet vulnerable. However, I still want to find out more. So I ask him, "So why do you seduce girls? And why are you so open?"

  He laughs. "You girls from the other villages are always so cute and curious.  Why? I don't know. It's fun. I like the company, perhaps. Why am I so open? Once again, I have no idea. I don't believe in secrets. They only lead to trouble when someone finds out what you've been hiding. But you shouldn't ask so many questions."

  "Why not?"

  "Because you might get in trouble."

  "What kind of trouble?"

  "The kind that will leave you with a hole in your heart and burning lips."

  "Why will I have a hole in my heart and burning lips?"

  "Lord, you're dense. Do you need a demonstration?" 

  Before I can say another word, he scoops me up and kisses me. He's right. It is making my lips burn. Hole in my heart, I'm not so sure. Unless it's the hole in my heart I'm feeling from missing Desmond. 

   Just as we pull away, I realize it. Who has been in the back of my mind this whole time? Who's been on my mind everytime I have a free moment to think? Who's been on my mind while I kissed other boys? Desmond, Desmond, Desmond. God, I really do like him. But did I ever hate him, or was it just bizarre attraction? Oh dear Lord, I think I've always been attracted to him. I used to look forward to sparring and arguing with him. This. Is. Frightening. 

    I must have an odd look on my face, because he immediately asks, "What's wrong?"

   "Nothing," I say, pushing him away.

  "What? Have my techniques failed?"

  "No. But maybe failure would make you a little less arrogant!"

 I push him, and then run through the market. I need to find my family. I need to find Desmond. I need to get home.