Subjugated

Chapter Five: Urgent Whispers

  Looking at Desmond's faraway look, I get a queasy feeling. I didn't plan for this. I planned that Desmond would remain hating me and I would leave with no strings and with no regrets. But now, Desmond likes me. I...can learn to like him.  It scares me. I don't want to be tied to him, to anyone from my past when I run away. But, if I allow myself to like him, I can't leave without hurt feelings and broken hearts. I can't leave without wondering what would have happened if I had stayed, if I had allowed myself to fall. 

   So, when he reaches for my hand, I push it away, pretend to yawn, and say, "Let's go back. I'm tired." I feel a little bit of guilt creeping up when I see the sad, hurt look on his face. Then, I think of how evil he's been to me and I don't feel so guilty.

  We walk back to the inn in silence and go to the room. We sneak in quietly, tip-toeing around everyone who's sleeping on the floor. I lie down under my blankets on the floor. Great. Now, I have so much to think about that I can't sleep. I keep changing my position, tossing and turning, unable to find sleep.

  Suddenly I hear someone whisper urgently, "Maura!"

  I practically shriek when I hear someone speaking to me. I didn't expect anyone to be up. I figured that Desmond also went to sleep it.

  "Who is it?" I hiss. "I was trying to go to sleep and was just drifting off."

  I hear the voice snort. "Yeah, that explains why you've been tossing and turning for the past hour."

  I roll over to see where this disembodied voice is coming from.   "Oh, hello, Desmond. Why are you still awake?" I ask.

  "I couldn't sleep because I thought I was forgetting to do something I wanted to do. Then I remembered what it was." he says.

  "Oh, yeah. What was-" I say. But I'm cut off when Desmond cups my face and kisses me. At first, I widen my eyes in shock, not kissing back. But eventually I succumb and kiss back. I lose myself in it. I don't know how he learned to kiss so well. I figure he probably has fooled around in some barn with one of the village girls. He does have the whole handsome, brooding thing going on. We kiss and kiss, only occasionally coming up for air.

  I tell him, "Desmond, if my father catches us, he'll murder me and you. Stop!" But he just runs his lips over my neck, making me shudder.

  He whispers in my ear, his breath hot on my face, his voice husky, "So what? It's worth it." I'm about to protest, but he begins to plant kisses along my jaw and neck. I whimper, his hot lips sending chills through my body. With his kisses, I lose all my strength to protest and go weak in the knees. My lips find his, and we continue to kiss. He runs his hands up and down my side and I shudder, feeling his hand through my thin nightgown. I try to push his hand away. I like these feelings, yet I don't. I can't handle feeling so weak, can't handle knowing that this person can make me melt with one well-placed kiss. Can't handle falling. We continue to kiss though, wanting him too much, the good feelings outweighing the bad. We kiss and kiss. We occasionally break our kisses to talk, or for me to protest.

   At one point, I say, "You scare me. Just earlier today, I hated you. But, now with your lips, you've made me melt."

   He grins devilishly and whispers, "That's because I'm magical."

  I smirk. "Sure. Though with the way you kiss and the way you make me feel, I might believe it a little," I say.

 He smiles. "You just gave me a compliment," he says.

   I ask, "And?" 

   "Well, I'm surprised," he says.

  "Don't be. If I could kiss you, I could compliment you," I say matter-of-factly.

  "Well, kissing is easy. There's no need to find the right words, and you could just lose yourself in the feelings. You don't have to push yourself to kiss someone," he explains.

  I nod. "Fair enough. For now, I just want you to kiss me more." He smiles and we continue to kiss.

  Suddenly, I hear someone from behind us say, "What in God's name are you two doing?"