Oh, Why Won't You Let Me Die? (EXO- Oh Sehun Fanfic)

Oh, for the love of nothing.

He closed the gap between us as if I won't do it. I feel my grip tighten around the plastic. I'm shaking badly.

" Don't YOU DARE come any closer to me... I'm warning you... Please ..." responsively he takes ahold of my wrists where I twist and turn a bit, my muscles in my abdomen contracting, he pulls me into an embrace. "I know you wouldn't want to hurt me," planting his lips on my trembling hand, he takes the syringe from me placing it down somewhere.

"He left me in the cold shed... I'm so cold... and... and..."

Shushing me he smoothly walks me over to the bed. He tucks me in, I lay there as the doctor lets a line run through my lifeline. A pinch followed by silence. The doctor injecting a fluid in my arm ..."Since you're not you, I'll help you feel bet-"

Lights out.

Breathe.

Inhale.

Exhale.

Inhale.

Exhale.

Inhale.

Heavily breathing. Wrapped in several warm and soft blankets, that were scented of something of the holidays back in school. Music plays quietly, the ringing in my ear gone. The feeling of my entire body being swollen gone. Snapped back into reality, with no time to spare my hand sprawled against my stomach. It feels empty and alone. Something is wrong. Laying my head back into the pillow the sound of a beeping at my side. The white bare ceilings numbing the negative thoughts. The beeping reassuring me of the life that was fighting to survive within.

A door opens. " I'm guessing you don't want to kill me anymore, huh?" his loafers clicking against the tile floor, sitting at my side fingers playfully trace along my jaw. "How does it feel?"

I hazily question him,
" What?," my eyes shutting once again.

" You know, being impregnated?"

I force a crooked smile, feeling lightheaded.

It feels like a sack of dog shit resting in your stomach. Overeating with no digestion. It's like having a sack of rice stuffed up your va-... Sorta like wishing to gain weight, but gaining too much and there's no reset button.

" It... hurts. I guess." I smile a fake smile.

" I hate that it couldn't be... you know..."

I understand, I look away from him avoiding his loving eyes again. Ours?

A silence follows. His hand only caressing my arm that laid at my side lifelessly. slowly cupping my cheek. "Look at me... hey..."

Slowly but surely I do so. I exhale as he smiles a pained smile. " I love you, so... eat," he feeds me soft foods. The amusement, the pity... Fuck. He smiled and chuckled at all failed attempts to hold the spoon properly. I whined childishly.

I'm sorry.

Laying back shifting under my weight. I drift back into slumber, his hand caressing my leg. The coldness returns and I feel abandoned. Don't leave me... stay.

I wake once again. But in darkness. I'm alone in the bed. The beeping gone. The line that ran through my body gone. I sit up frightened. The emptiness. The doctor that stood at the window monitoring me gone. I'm alone again.

I stand painfully but able to gain strength. Turning the knob of the door to see snow. It piles on trees. I turn back around. To see a sweater some jeans and a huge insulated coat. The sleeves hung over my hands as I shivered. I didn't know where to go. I walked till I saw a house. A key hung above the door. I open the door to this small cottage.

The huge name hung high on the wall. "Private Property, " I decided to stay in there. I'd be found one day. Me and this stomach of mine. The carcass of two... maybe well we preserved in this weather. I don't even know how much months I am, or weeks. I do remember the day. All those days of prayer in the morning and more prayers at night. The days which I was dragged out of bed in poor health to worship. In return of my devotion I'm side by side with the devil.

I sit in a corner lifelessly, this bump in front of my eyes. It's all I have. I hold my frontal lobe and rock back and forth.

The door opens letting a wift of frigid wind in. His long legs, and slim body. He takes me up by the arm and drags me, I can barely keep up, tripping over my own feet. Back to the huge mansion that stood in the middle of endless trees and a diamond crested entrance. It's grand size holds much mental pressure. "Hurry!!" He pulls me harder bringing me to yet another secluded room. He orders a few maids to clean as fast as they can. "If one of you stop moving your feet all if you lose a finger. Fucking HURRY!!' They dust down and disinfect at an alarming rate. I watch them panic but finish cleaning the room at ease. "This is your room, make sure you keep quiet like a mouse. My old man is here and I'd be damned if he found you,"

He puts on a long coat, and locks the door behind him. I look over at the small window, snowflakes slowly drift in. Like a dream, it's delicate scenery. The cold wind cooling down the heat that build up in the room.

The corners that hold me together feel as if they're falling apart. I sit in silence. Waiting for everything to go bad... as usual.

A loud crack fills the manor as he leaves the room.

I'm not surprised.

_________author note____

I'm basically uploading draft from years ago. Unedited outlines.