Love Is Not Just A Verb (A Kendrick Lamar Story)

Chapter 4

Tuesday, October 15, 2002

Yn's POV

    For the rest of that day, I couldn't stop thinking about that moment. I'd be in math like, 3 × 5 - x + 4 = x - x - 12, x = What the f*ck even happened? We was about to kiss, then that nigga decides to back up like...

    Even when I got home, I couldn't stop thinking about it. Even while I watched reruns of Moesha, which was my favorite show, I couldn't stop thinking of it. I finished my homework, but it took me forever. Why? Because I couldn't stop focusing on what happened.

    I laid down on my bed tired and annoyed by this boy. This Kendrick. I kept thinking about that moment. When he smiled at me, then turned away. When his face got all tense. What happened?

    A million thoughts and questions entered my mind. Why did he turn away? Did my breath stink? Did I have a booger? Was I drooling? He realized how ugly I am, didn't he? Or did my beauty make him think he wasn't worthy of a kiss from these lips? I mean, I have to admit, I'm pretty damn fly. But maybe I am ugly... Am I? But, if I am, why did he lean in to kiss me? Or was I the only one leaning in? Oh, my God!! Was there something in my teeth?! Wait... Maybe it wasn't me. Maybe it was him. Maybe there was something on his mind that made him turn away. He did look really conflicted... Who knows... But, you know, it probably had a lot to do with my beauty, he was probably sooo awestruck. Wait, DOES HE HAVE A GIRLFRIEND?!

    As you can see, I think a lot. But thats just how I do. I over think things. Always have, and I probably always will.

    I got up and grabbed my towel. Maybe a nice hot shower will get my mind of things for a while. It didn't, but I felt better after it.

    "Yn!! Food's ready!" my mom yelled.

    "K, momma! I'm coming!" I got into my pajamas and went downstairs.

    When I got downstairs, I found KFC waiting for me. I was hungrier than a mug. I could smell the aroma of the fried chicken whispering to my nose. My stomach started to growl as I sat down at the dining room table. I reached for a peice, but my momma slapped my hand and said, "Say grace!"

    So I prayed. "Thank you, Lord, for this food and bless it for our bodies. Give some to those who don't have. In Jesus' name, we pray. Amen."

    "Amen," said my mom, dad, and brother.

    "Lezzeat!!" said Jojo, my little brother. He loves KFC. So do I, but not as much as he does.

    We all took some chicken and fries and some potatoe salad. I put gravy on my food. I loved me some gravy.

    "So, Yn. How was school?" my dad asked.

    "Okay," I said.

    "Just 'okay'?" my mom said.

    "Yuuup..." I said before taking a bite of my chicken.

    "Did you have a fight with your boyfriend?" asked Jojo. He added a lot of emphasis on the word "boyfriend".

    "Nigga, you know I don't have one!" I snapped. My brother is so f*cking annoying.

    My parents just sat there laughing.

    "Well, that's sad," said my dad. He's not normal. For some weird reason, he wants me to get a boyfriend. I never found out why, but I never wanted to ask, either.

    My mom just elbowed him playfully. "Yn, did anything exciting happen?" she asked.

    Yes! Yes!! I wanted to say, but I hated talking about boys in front of my dad and Jojo. "Not really," I said, instead. I checked the time on the grandfather clock that stood on the wall beside the table. 9:36. I finished up the last of my food. "I'm going to bed." I said as I got up to go and wash my plate.

    "Okay, honey," my mom said.

    After I washed my plate, I got some water and started heading upstairs. "Good night!" I said to my family as I walked up the stairs.

    "Good night!" both my parents said.

    "I hope you have nightmates!" my brother yelled. I turned around and shot him a death stare while my dad slapped the sh*t out of him.

    "Apologize to your sister," my dad ordered.

    "I'm sorry..." he said solemnly. He was used to getting hit like that with his big ass mouth.

    I just turned back around and walked into my room. I got in bed and said my prayers.

    Hey, God. I'm back. You'll never believe what happened today. So, I met this guy named Kendrick. He is soooooo fiiine! Anyways, we talked for a little bit and he seems like a cool kid. And get this, he a songwriter! Major turn-on! I can't stop thinking about him. About how we almost kissed... but he turned away. You saw that, didn't you? Well, of course you did. Lord, please help me talk to him again tomorrow. I don't think I have enough courage to talk to him after today. Not without Your strength. Anyways, enough about me. Please bless my momma and my daddy. And Jojo. Especially Jojo. He needs a lot of blessing, if you know what I mean. I also pray that you'll help me ace my test tomorrow. Thanks! Good night. Amen. ♥

    Yeah, I pray like that. I was always taught that Christianity is a relationship between you and God. And that He wants to be my friend. If we're gonna be friends, I might as well talk to Him like He is one. That's how I always thought of it.

    I started fanticising about Will Smith until I fell asleep. Then, I had the weirdest dream.

    ~ In the dream ~ I was at a strip club. . . and Kendrick was one of the strippers. He started dancing and grinding on me and then we started kissing. All of a sudden, we end up on a roller coaster, still kissing. Unfortunately, his clothes appeared...

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Ok, well you really don't like commenting, do you? No problem. I hope you liked this part, though. :)