If I Mean Anything To You (Fuenciado)

I'm Destroying What I Love

Vic POV

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I was upset with myself. Mostly because I had made Jaime worry about me, and there was no reason to. I was warming up my voice when I heard Jaime and Tone talking about me. I tried to block out my thoughts as I heard Jaime say he was scared for me, and was barely hanging on. It hurt, to think I was harming him. I knew that when he told me he'd found me drunk off my ass, that I needed to get a grip on things.

Yes, I had everything I'd ever wanted and more, I had no right to be sad, but yet l was. Pathetic, really. I gave up on warming up my voice and settled on having a beer before the show. Yeah, that probably would just mess up my voice again, but I needed to cloud over the edges of my consciousness, even if it was for a little bit.

"Vic, you decent?" Jaime asked before coming into the back lounge, where I'd been by myself. I scoffed at him.

"Like it would matter if I were decent or not." I said to him, setting my beer can on the table beside the couch, making it look like it'd just been abandoned. Jaime laughed nervously and came over to me and sat next to me.

"True, but we have a show soon and l wouldn't want to distract you." Jaime said flashing me a small smirk.

"If you say so." I shoved him playfully. "So, what'd ya want?" He shrugged.

"Nothing, really. Just,  um, what are we doing after the show tonight?"

"We can do whatever the hell you want, baby." He blushed hard and looked away from me. It was adorable when he did that. I leaned over and kissed his cheek.

"I was meaning did you have any plans?" Jaime clarified. I deflated.

"Um, no. Why, did you want to do something?" It was weird how Jaime was acting. It was as if I weren't throwing out sexual innuendos at him.

"If you want to."

"Babe, are you okay? You're acting weird." I placed my hand on his knee gently.

"Yeah, I'm fine. I'm just worried about something is all." That something was me ans I knew it. As much as I wanted to tell Jaime, I couldn't. He couldn't know that I'd cheated on him, and had a baby.

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"...Oh my God this is paradise!" I sung out the last words into the mic.  "Thank you for coming out tonight! I had a great fucking time!" I screamed to the crowd. Their response was cheers, loud enough to break down walls. I placed the mic back on it's stand and walked offstage with my bandmates. We gave each other high-fives on side-stage, congratulating each other on an awesome show. All Time Low was on after us, each member running past US to the stage. The sound of Alex welcoming the crowd was heard throughout the stage area. I walked with Tone Jaime and Mike to the green room.

"Did you tell Rian that his fly was down?" Tone asked Mike. Mike shook his head with a smile.

"Nope, he'll be sitting the whole time, no one'll see." Mike told him. I went over to the cooler and got out a bottle of water. "Hey, Vic, I'm going back to the bus, you coming?" Mike asked me. I shook my head.

"Naw, I'll stay here for awhile."

"Okay then." Mike left the green room passing by a few crew remembers and techs. Which just left me, Tone ans Jaime. I dunno what it was precisely, but it just felt tense. Like there was an unsaid argument going on between us. Maybe that's why Mike left. I cleared my throat, to provide some sort of sound. We could still hear All Time Low's show going on. I stood from the chair next to the cooler I'd bee sitting in and went to go watch my friends perform side-stage.

They were playing Break Your Little Heart I personally liked the song, I liked a lot of there songs.

And this time, thought I'd heard it so many times before, it made me think of heartbreak. Yes, I'd had my heart shattered into pieces. It was the risk that came with falling in love. I'd been so cautious because I was on edge about falling in love with Jaime, but I did anyway. I loved him to pieces, and I know he felt the same about me.

I loved seeing him smiling and laughing. It made my heart flutter and want to just be near him. It was a beautiful thing, just like love itself. But if your heart is broken because you love someone, then why is it so bad? Why is out so painful? If Jaime were to break my heart, I don't think I'd want to piece my heart back together.

Heartbreak, was just as beautiful as love itself. To break someone's heart, you must care about them to some degree. This realization hit me just as Alex spoke into the mic, my cue to walk onstage.