Hope ~S.M.~

What happened between us?

"Never gonna' change my mind
We can leave it all behind
Nothin's gonna' stop us
No not this time
So take your hand in mine
It's ours tonight
This is a rebel love song
Hearts will sacrifice
It's do or die
This is a rebel love song."

I sang along to one of my favorite songs at the moment, Rebel love song by black veil brides. As I was singing along I was thinking about me and Shawn's relationship.

I love Shawn, everyone believes we're not suppose to be together but we are. Love is a strong feeling that one cannot simply get over, you can't expect me to throw out a years worth of love because someone doesn't approve.
Shawn is Romeo and I am Juliet. I would die for him, the same way he would die for me.

"Hey babe...?" Shawn trails off as he enters our bedroom. "Yes?" I question not bothering to look at him. I hear him sigh before he walks over to the bed and sits on the opposite end. Shawn's been staying at Andrew's house since our last fight. He "couldn't stand to face what he's done".

"Baby please look at me."
I couldn't, I couldn't look at him right now. Especially when my face is all bruised because of him.
"Jasmine. Baby please." I heard his voice crack, I couldn't bare not to look at him. Once I looked up I examined the face I fell in love with.

Shawn's face was red and puffy, his eyes bright red from crying and his nose flared every few seconds.

"Baby I'm so freaking sorry." He started. "I know Shawn." I replied nonchalantly. "No you don't know." Shawn replies.

It was quiet between us for a few moments before I spoke up.

"You're right Shawn, I don't know. It's the same shit every week. You get frustrated about stupid shit, you repeatedly hit me, apologize, go to Andrew's or Geoff's then come back to try and apologize when we both know it's going to happen again in two days."
Shawn was looking for something to say but he had nothing. I was right, we both know I'm right.

"Shawn what ever happened between us?" I asked with tears brimming my eyes.
"What do you mean?" He asked a little confused. "What happened to our high school relationship? The one before you got famous..."

"I've been frustrated honestly baby. Things aren't going right when I'm planning my tour and the music that I'm in the process of writing is literal trash. I come home so frustrated and angry and I take it out on you when I shouldn't. Hitting you honestly relieves my stress until I see what I've done. I feel like monster. I can't accept the fact that I've hurt you after I promised freshman year that I would be the one to protect you from all the bullies who use to beat you up." He started to cry and I felt really bad like somehow this is my fault why he feels so horrible right now.

Shawn took a look at my face. "I caused this. I don't deserve you. You're everything a guy can want in a girl. You're sweet, kind, absolutely beautiful, caring, forgiving, faithful-" I cut Shawn off with a kiss. "Shawn, I love you. I really do, but something has to change if we're going to stay together."