Thanks to Music [complete]

Chapter Eight

Chapter Eight

Julien's POV

Calling Mackenzie to explain that I wanted to be with Jamie again took balls I never knew I had. When she'd picked up the phone was a hesitant 'hello?' I told her who I was, and well...she didn't take too well. It took a whole minute just to get her to shut the hell up, and another five to convince her to meet me at the park without a full explanation. She was reluctant at first, but when Jamie's name popped up, she agreed immediately.

Sitting here on a bench that had obviously been repainted over and over again with different shades of brown, I tried recollecting my thoughts, going through what I wanted to tell Mackenzie in a way that was fast, sincere and to the point, my thoughts went straight to Jamie.

I guess it didn't help that this park was where I had my first date with her. I'd brought her here long after it closed, jumping over the fence and helping her climb over it with the light of the moon splashing white and silver on us. This bench faced the lake, where we'd had a mini-picnic, just the two of us. I swear, that had been the time of my life.

Facing the lake now, watching the sunlight play on the surface on the water and producing glittery stars, I closed my eyes and imagined the park at midnight that night - the full moon, unblocked by stray clouds, bright and clear stars, their reflections dancing across the shimmering water; there were definitely advantages to dating a tomboy like Jamie, I remember thinking wryly with a smile as she climbed over the fence with me; I had taken her hand and sat with her on the grass beside the lake, me in my varsity jersey, jeans and sneakers, her in brown shorts, a short-sleeved zip up hoodie and her high tops; before her, a steady relationship had been foreign to me, but now that she was in my life, a steady relationship with her was all I ever wanted.

That night had ended with her in my arms lying on the grass, dozing as she lightly pressed her forehead into the crook of my neck, resting her hands on my chest. "I love you, Jamie," I'd whispered into her ear, planting a kiss on her forehead.

Just that thought sent an ache to my heart, and my memory fastforwarded to the time I'd lied to the paparazzi and she'd found out. At that time, that bit of gossip had been a joke, one made in rash anger because they just wouldn't leave me alone. When she started screaming at me, all rational went out the window and didn't come back until a week later, when I'd already let her out of my life willingly; what was worse was that I let her go believing that I made a mistake in dating her, when she was the best goddamn thing that had ever happened to me.

Since then, no other girl has made me feel the way she has. I thought I could survive on flings but now that she was back...when we started dating I had no clue how to be a good boyfriend, because everything I did to make her happy I thought was never enough. Slowly but surely, I improved...and then we broke up. I used what I knew to my advantage, playing girls and leading them on. Remorse only hit when I realized that a small handful had actually truly liked me, but remorse only went so far. My thoughts rarely ever strayed to them again.

My collection of things I knew would keep girls satisfied, keep them happy were materialistic and fake. Jamie was better than that. She'd always been better than that. I'd forgotten how to make her happy, truly make her happy with me and the person I really was; that meant I had to start over. If she ever gave me the chance. I had to start dropping hints again, not flirting, because I wanted her to know I was serious and sincere about this; then I'd have to earn her trust again, then her feelings if that was even possible; if it was, I had to work double hard to keep her with me this time.

Long story short, I had to start all over again.

That thought left me in despair. What had I done? What if she gave in to Josh? What would I do then? I want her to be happy, but I want the person to make her happy to be me. All these feelings came back in full force, stored and ignored over the two years. I missed knowing that I had someone to lose. Because the greatest thing in life is to love and be loved in return. It was a line from Moulin Rouge; it was corny and cliche but just so true.

Imagine what I would have to do to make it up to her if she graced me with that second chance. Imagine what it would be like to have another chance with Jamie. I felt like smiling just thinking of having her as my girlfriend again. Wouldn't that be amazing? The Youtube hotshot superstar player, Julien Marcus, was hooked, had fallen into the deep end, but didn't want to pull himself out. Imagine that.

"Julien?"

I opened my eyes and found Mackenzie in a blue flared, knee-length dress and ballet flats looking at me intensely. "Julien?" she repeated carefully, twirling her hair with one finger and draping it over one shoulder.

"Mackenzie," I greeted, nodding and making space for her on the bench. Hesitantly, she sat next to me and placed her slingbag on the other side. "I won't bite, you know," I added, a bit incredulous at how cautious she was being around me.

"Says the player who has a new girl every week," I heard her mutter under her breath, thinking that I wouldn't hear. Ouch. Before I could comment, she sighed and straightened. "You asked me to meet you here?"

Well, she didn't beat around the bush, did she? "Umm, yeah," I said, slightly taken aback. "I stole your number from Matt's phone. I wanted to talk about...well..." Why was it so hard to say her name?

"Jamie," she finished for me quietly.

I nodded silently, and giving up on hiding my emotions like I always did so well, I groaned and cradled my head in my hands. "Mackenzie, I don't know what to do. Seeing her again, all the feelings I didn't think of the past two years just came back and now I can't do anything without her crossing my mind at least once. I..."

"Julien, look," she sighed, interrupting me. "Why can't you just leave her alone? You guys dated, you messed up and she left, knowing that it's what you wanted. You're an all time player now, with almost any girl you want practically at your feet. Why the sudden want? The sentimentality? Why are you so...remorseful now? When you have everything that you want?" Her tone was actually curious instead of demanding.

"Because everything I have right now doesn't mean shit if I'm not sharing it with her," I stated plainly, looking at Mackenzie dead in the eye to let her know just how serious I was.

Those brown eyes widened, and her mouth opened slightly as her jaw dropped a bit. "What?" she asked incredulously. "You're kidding me, right?"

I sighed heavily and shook my head. "No. No, I'm not. I wish I was, because she's so out of my reach, so out of my league, but I'm not. I came to you because you're close with her. And I need your help."

"To do what exactly?" she asked, still a bit shocked.

I bit my lip. "Get her back."

Mackenzie just sat there staring at me with those huge eyes that felt like she was evaluating my soul. I'm serious, Mackenzie, I tried to tell her with my own eyes. I want her back. "I don't even know where to start!" I groaned, leaning back against the bench. "All these years of playing dulled out my senses of what it's like to make the person you love truly happy. I didn't think I'd need it again. But I didn't think I'd see her again either."

"You...you love her?" Mackenzie blinked herself out of her reverie and blurted out that question clearly before thinking about it.

I didn't blink, didn't even have to consider my answer. "Unconditionally."

She seemed to think about it for awhile before turning to me. "Julien, you're Matt's brother, and he trusts you, so that means I will too. But I swear, if you break her heart again..."

"That's something you won't have to worry about it," I answered roughly, hating myself for ever doing it in the first place. "Just...please help me. Tell me how to get her back."

She stared at me again, scanning me with those intense eyes. Finally, she relented. "Okay. There are different ways to go at it..."

Yay, I've updated. The next few chapter will definitely have some humour in it as Julien tries to follow Mackenzie's very sensible advice but fails miserably :) hope you enjoyed this chapter!