You Never Said Forever Could Ever Hurt Like This

In The Shadow Of The Valley Of Death

Chapter 7 - In The Shadow Of The Valley Of Death

Jessie could hear frantic voices coming closer as she sat in her hospital bed, knees bent to her chest and her arms holding herself as she rocked back a forth ever so slightly. She jumped as the door slammed open and Marilyn bounded in.

“Areyouokay?” He asked, his words coming out so fast they smooshed together. “They said you asked for me…”

Jessie nodded up at Marilyn as he sat on the end of the bed. “Y…yeah…I did…” it had been so long since she’d seen him…did he still want her? Or was it this other girl he knew before that he wanted? Or…was she just going crazy?

“Okay…” he paused, his gaze cautious and curious. “I thought you’d never want to see me again…”

“For a little while…I didn’t.” Jessie replied bluntly, feeling horrible when he winced at her words. “But…”

“But?” he encouraged, taking her hand gently.

“When I was unconscious…I was…aware…or my surroundings…” Jessie’s eyes softened as he looked back at her. “I felt you hold my hand…I could hear you crying…I heard you say…” Jessie gulped. He could take it back…maybe it was just the thought of her being gone that made him say it…people do tend to cling most strongly to that which they believe is lost to them. “You said-”

“I said many things.” Marilyn shrugged, his hand slipping from hers. “I’m just glad you’ve got someone who, quite obviously, cares about you.” He paused and she heard the strain in his voice when he spoke again. “Chris was here nearly every day…I found him asleep here…holding you hand…”

Jessie nodded. “I know…I heard you…” he turned away and she glared daggers at Marilyn’s back, irritation making her brave. “Why did you say you loved me?” he spun back to face her, eyes wide. “Do you love me? For me? Or are you still in love with a girl who looked like me and died before you could get her out of Canton?” Marilyn said nothing; he just stared back at her, mouth agape. She fumed, “Tell me!”

“Jessie…” Marilyn murmured, eyes pleading.

“Jessie, I…” her head turned towards the door. Chris was staring at Marilyn. “Wow…what’s he doing here?”

“She asked for me.” Marilyn’s tone turned cold…and slightly vindictive.

“Yeah, well…I asked for Chris too…” Jessie glared at Marilyn. “At least I know how I feel about him and how he feels about me…” she grit her teeth at his stubbornness. “Why can’t you just answer the fucking question, Manson?!”

“Because you’re right!” he all but yelled at her, glaring at Chris as he moved to put his arm around Jessie. “I don’t know how you know…but you’re right…for part of it. There was a girl…like you…and I was in love with her.” He paused. “And, maybe, that might have been what first drew me to you…but I knew you were different!” he ran his hand down his face. “You are her…but you’re not… I did fall in love with you, Jessie… and I pushed too hard, I know…you weren’t ready and I should’ve respected that…and I didn’t…” he sighed sadly. “And I lost you…and that’s my fault.”

“Yes, it is.” Chris narrowed his eyes slightly at the older rock star. “You hurt her…”

“I didn’t know! Alright?!” Marilyn yelled. “I didn’t know what was stopping her.”

“The more you pushed…the more I retreated…” Jessie heard her voice break slightly. “I was raped…by a guy I thought was my best friend…but you didn’t give me a chance to tell you…you made me so nervous…and I was scared that if you knew I was damaged goods that…that you wouldn’t want me…” she felt the tears coming. “You wanted so much of me so fast… I couldn’t…” Jessie swallowed the lump in her throat.

***

Marilyn swallowed hard. He’d had no idea…and now he’d lost her…he looked down, his anger at all the things beyond his control had gotten the better of him, no matter what good intentions he’d had when he’d walked through that door.

With pained eyes, he finally looked back at Jessie again. “I’m sorry, Jessie.”

He saw her purse her lips, fighting tears. “Sorry might not cut it this time, Marilyn…”

Marilyn felt his heart snap in two. He opened his mouth, intending to tell her how much he really did love her, but stopped as she held up a hand…her eyes pleading with him not to hurt her again. He steeled himself and nodded slightly. “I’ll always love you, Jessie Talon…always…”

Marilyn turned towards the door, each step away from her hurt worse than the previous one. At the door he stopped and turned back…what he saw made his pain only grow worse. Jessie was crying…silent tears…they’re always worse. But he knew he’d really lost when he saw Chris tilt her chin up and, looking into her sweet, crying eyes, whispered, “You’re fucking beautiful…just the way you are.” And Marilyn watched as he pressed his lips gently against hers…and she kissed him back.

He wanted to rip Chris’s head off, but it was too late…Jessie wasn’t Marilyn’s anymore… she belonged to Chris now…and he wept at the loss of her.

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