Shoes for Hats (Snowpiercer Fanfiction)

Normal As It Ever Will Be

Edgar was learning to walk now. He could say my name and Curtis's. The other mothers helped me with him still. He mostly stayed with me and Curtis but sometimes they took him to give us breaks. Tonight was one of the nights. I loved the kid but he took up so much space for being the smallest one out of the three of us. I was laying in bed, snacking on my protein block and thinking. My eyes were closed and I just listened to the sounds of the tail section. I heard the sound of the curtain moving then heard Curtis telling me to scoot over. I moved and continued eating. 

"Who has him tonight?" He asked, wrapping his around me from behind. 

"Susan." I replied, finishing my protein block and relaxing quietly. I felt his lips at my neck and smiled. 

"Curtis." I said, feeling his hands move to my waist as he climbed on top of me. I breathed deeply and we moved more to the center of the bed so we would have room. He kissed me and gently tugged my shirt up. We had fooled around a bit but we had never managed to full on have sex, no matter how much we both wanted to. Privacy was a hard thing to come by in the tail section. No one has really been alone truly since we've boarded. I bit my lip to quiet the moan that was trying to escape from my mouth. I felt the cool air hit my legs as he tugged my pants down. 

"You good?" He asked, looking up at me. I nodded and tugged his beanie off, pulling him into another kiss. 

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I breathed deeply and held onto him, stroking his back gently. He was kissing my neck gently. 

"You're beautiful." He whispered quietly in my ear. I blushed and held onto him. He helped me get redressed, kissing along my skin as he did. I blushed. 

"Curtis. Stop that." I said, embarrassed by how dirty I was. We didn't have anywhere to bathe. He held me. 

"I love you." He whispered softly, stroking my cheek. I blushed and looked away. 

"I love you too, Curtis." I said, smiling. He held onto me and breathed deeply. I cuddled into him and laid my head on his chest. He wrapped his arm around me and closed his eyes. I closed mine and fell asleep slowly as I listened to his heartbeat happily. 

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I held onto my protein block and nibbled at it. I had been throwing up and didn't want to waste the protein block. I hurried to the corner and threw up, groaning. I held my own hair back and breathed hard, resting my forehead against the wall. I was helped to my bunk by Susan. She helped me up into it and looked at me. 

"Are you okay, sweetie?" She asked. 

"I'm fine. We all get sick. I'll be up and running in a few days, I'm sure." I said, smiling and nibbling on my protein block. She nodded and pulled the curtain so I could have some privacy. I laid there and held my stomach, breathing deeply and finishing my protein block off finally. I held onto my pillow, feeling the picture I had kept tucked under it. I took it out and looked at the faces of my parents. I stroked my mom's face, then my dad's. I looked at my younger brothers, smiling. Those two had always caused so much trouble, even when my mom was pregnant with them. They had many scares during their pregnancy and they couldn't even tell Aiden's gender because he kept hiding behind Andy. I sighed and stuck it back under my pillow. The curtain moved and I was met with the sight of Curtis's concerned face. 

"Susan said you've been throwing up." He said, climbing into the bunk and sitting at the foot of it to give me enough space. 

"I'm fine. We all get sick, Curtis." I replied, looking at him. 

"Still. Do you need more blankets? I'll look around for some." He said. I stopped him. 

"I'm fine. Honestly. Just throwing up. Not anymore cold than usual." I said, smiling fondly at him. He kissed my hand and watched me. We sat and talked until they called for our next meal and a headcount. I stood next to him and Georgina, an older woman who everyone loved. She smiled at me and looked me over. 

"Congratulations, dear." She said softly. 

"What for?" I asked, smiling. 

"You're pregnant. You have that lovely glow about you." She said. I froze, staring at her. Curtis tugged me down when they told us to sit down. 

"What's wrong?" He asked. 

"Erin is pregnant. I was congratulating her." Georgina said. I stared at her still, then looked at him. I felt someone wiggle in-between us and watched Edgar get himself into Curtis's lap. Curtis held him and stared at me. I slowly put my hand on my stomach, breathing deeply. I was pregnant. There was no question on who the baby's father could be. I looked at him, getting scared. Curtis helped me up and held Edgar, listening to the toddler babble on about something. I looked at him, grabbing a protein block and holding my stomach. Curtis held onto me and walked me back to our bunk. He quietly talked to the man who had the bunk underneath us and he gave his to us quickly. Curtis moved our stuff down into that bunk and thanked the man. I sat and held my stomach. I heard the sound of metal meeting metal. Clank. Clank. Clank. It stopped in front of me. I could see Gilliam's foot then the pipe he had in place of his other leg. I slowly looked up. 

"It is going to be alright, dear. I promise." He said, sitting beside me. I looked at him then down. 

"I. I don't know if I'm ready for this. I. I. I already have Edgar. I wasn't ready for that either." I said, breathing hard. 

"I'm so sorry. This is my fault." Curtis said. I noticed Edgar wasn't in his arms anymore so I'm guessing he had passed him off to one of the other mothers. 

"No. Don't blame yourself, Curtis." I said, breathing deeply. 

"You'll both make fine parents. This baby may be a surprise but it is a blessing in disguise." Gilliam said, gently patting my back with the hand he still had. I buried my face in my hands, breathing deeply. Gilliam patted my back again and got Curtis to help him up. 

"I believe Rebecca used to be either a nurse or a doctor in the maternity ward at a hospital. I'll tell her to come talk to you soon." He said, walking back to his area. I looked up at Curtis. He sat beside me and held me. 

"I'm sorry." He said. I shook my head. 

"Don't say that. Maybe he's right. Blessing in disguise. Let's look at it like that. We'll have. A little baby to take care of again. And maybe this one won't hog the bed like Edgar did." I said, smiling. He chuckled and nodded. 

"That would be nice." He said, holding me gently. I leaned into him and breathed deeply, eating my protein block and the half he offered me. This was going to be a long 9 months.