The Horse in the Prince's Stables

Chp. 29

                                                                                        =29=

=Philip=

          My footsteps echoed quietly as I walked aimlessly through the castle corridors, with my hands shoved deep into my pockets. I stared straight ahead, though I didn't really see anything. I'm sure if I could hear my heartbeat, it would sound hollow and empty. For once, all thoughts in my head ceased to run, save for one.

          I had failed.

          Trailing off the red carpet that lined the center of every hallway, I leaned against the cold wall, placing a fist between my forehead and the stone. I squeezed my eyes shut, trying to shut out the memories of the dead look in Kaelyn's eyes. Ever since Gabriella explained the loss of humanity, touching thoroughly on the points that referred directly to Kaelyn.... It made me feel a little sick. At this moment after just thinking about it, it felt difficult to breathe.

          Gabriella also said that the change was permanent.

          Kaelyn was gone forever.

          It was as if she had died, but at the same time, only a shell of her former self still walked the earth. And there was absolutely nothing I could do about it.

          She had been there for me during the entire time we had been kidnapped by Drake, and she saved my life twice, three times if I cared to count when she literally freed me from capture. Which I did. Now, when she needed someone to help her... I was nowhere near...

          And some twisted bastard took her away.

          My eyes twitched a little as I tried to hold back my emotions. If there happened to be anyone in the halls at this hour, I didn't want them to see me like this. There would be too much to explain, and no one would really believe me either. It was just too strange, and I had no proof. I would simply suffer alone. I'm glad that I sent Henry away for the night. Being alone was all I really wanted right now.

          "Philip?"

          I winced slightly as Maria's voice came from behind me. Slowly I turned, wondering why the hell was she wandering around at this god forsaken hour. A thin white nightgown covered her body, a silk slip beneath the gossamer fabric barely kept the sleepwear modest. While the slip flowed over her curves, the rest hung straight down. Maria's reddish-blonde hair was pulled back in a loose bun. I tried to voice my question, but my voice came out a little husky and thick. I had to clear my throat before I continued. My emotionless mask settled on my face, but I didn't know how long I could keep it there.

          "Why are you out here so late?" 

          Her green eyes filled with worry as she took in my strange expression. 

          "I... couldn't sleep. I was going to the kitchen to fix myself a cup of tea," she reached out and brushed my arm gently with her cool hand. "What's wrong?"

          Gabriella had said she erased Maria's memory, although she did say she left in the part where I barely explained that I loved someone else. 

          She doesn't exactly exist anymore... I don't have a choice...

          Without another word, I grabbed Maria's arms and crushed my lips against hers. She stiffened, mostly likely startled by my actions. I drove her against the wall roughly, trying to drive every thought of Kaelyn away from my mind, searching for anything that I could find pleasure in within this kiss Anything. I squeezed my eyes shut, trying to lose myself in something different.