Radiance

Chapter Nine

“And I am weary of the anguish,

Increasing winters bear;

Weary to watch the spirit languish,

Through years of dead despair.”                                                                                

                Stanzas - Bronte

Through the door way Tamar found herself on a small platform surrounding the giant trunk. A slat bridge linked her to the next platform of a tree in front and so on through the fields of the upper forest to other doors and canopy rooms like the night ball. Elior strode out to the middle of the bridge then turned as though caught by a thought. He took a deep breath and began.

 “Now you have gained my trust I must entrust you with a confession I have long held, in the hope that it will set you free from here. I just hope I have not left it too long.” He sighed and gave up struggling to keep eye contact with her, wandering his way across to the platform as Tamar began to follow. “You must understand that I needed to know you were not truly Fallen when you came to us, that only intrigue had brought you. Others have come with your story and… well they came to make a fool of me. My intentions of saving them were mocked and my barbarism ended their rotten existence. I admit, I regret such acts, but where else have I to go if my true longings were revealed?” he stopped and stared at her across the little bridge. Exhaling a defeated breath he took a seat on the wooden veranda, legs dangling over the edge. Tamar walked over to him but did not sit down; she merely folded her arms and leaned on the rough bark of the trunk.

“You don’t want to be in Ebony Lands?” She asked, “Why don’t you just leave?”

“It is not so simple.”

“But you say how easily I came to find you; can’t you leave the same way? I could help you if you wanted?” she wasn’t quite sure what she meant by this but his unhappiness unsettled her.

“I said I trust you, but not so implicitly that I could always trust myself with you. It is your truth that saves you from me, from this place, not mine. You could never move me from here.”

“I don’t understand.” she confessed. “So if I was pretending to be a Fallen to try out the Ebony Lands you would be pleased? And encourage me to leave?”

“For want of another word, yes. But if you are truly Fallen then my confession of this will only risk your life. I cannot afford for any Fallen to know. I have built a life here, more a mangled existence, but a life all the same. I am too damaged for Radiance. It is beyond all capability, however, I hope for you it is not.” He said, pleading.

“You always knew I only had two choices? Return to Radiance, or die at your hand?” Tamar wanted to be afraid, wanted to run, wanted to shout at him for his selfishness but somehow she just wanted to help him, no matter the cost.

“Yes.” He answered, rigid at her bluntness. “But I have prayed from the moment I lifted you off of the floor that it not be the latter. Please, listen to me?” It was a request, not a demand. She softened her features and let him know he held her attention, sitting cross-legged on the floor.

“I was not intended for these lands Tamar. My birth place is among the Clarity People of the Radiance Lands. I lived with my mother, father and twin brother. We were happy. My brother and I played endlessly, causing the kinds of mischief only children can.” he smiled as his tale unfolded, then once again his expression grew hard. “But when I was merely six summers old my father, Fyodor, grew restless. He was seduced by the ways of the Fallens. Upon abandoning my mother he announced he couldn’t bear to lose his boys…” an ugly sneer marred Elior’s face, “…so as children, we clung to our mothers legs and cried as he pulled at our arms to drag us away. Our mother was helpless against his strength, as were we. My grip was the first to slip, thus, he took me. I kicked and screamed for three days until his beatings taught me better. He was not the man I once knew, that man was not my father.” Elior stared down at the floor, the memories clearly swimming before him.