Radiance

Chapter One

“Take my hand and we’ll be far from here. Sure the path is winding, there are hard times in the way, but I believe if you believe we’ll make it there someday. Yes, there may be mountains and rain clouds I’ll admit. But I believe with all my heart, God will make us make it. It’s just the other side - not that far away. Please prepare a place for us, a place for us to stay.” Take My Hand - J. W. Hill

As Tamar slammed the front door after her fourth driving test, her younger brother Charlie ran into the hall to greet her. His face was full of expectation. With a blunt, to the point look at his excitement she said, “What do you think?” and kicked her pumps onto a pile of trainers, flip flops and wellies under the stairs.

“I’m sure you’ll do it next time,” Charlie repeated “at least there’s no pressure for me!”

“Glad I could be of use” Tamar sighed, thinking of her two older, perfect, passed-first-time brothers – Rhodri and Anthony. “I just don’t see how they,” she shot a glance at the ceiling above, “both managed to pass first time when the test is a whole bus journey away in the city and the lessons are only ever on our stupid country lanes!” she continued. “I mean, take me down any duel-carriage way and we’re easy but a parallel park and I’m screwed.”

“Chill out Tamar, it’s only driving – where do you need to go so bad anyway?” Charlie said flatly.

Tamar said nothing. She’d wanted to visit her friends in the city every weekend if she could but the bus was just too expensive. She needed a car to get a better job but she needed a better job to afford a car, catch-22.

At nineteen Tamar Wakes had finished her A-levels the previous year, but being unsure of career plans and driving lessons gnawing at her purse for money she was stuck at home. Helping out on the local farm; day in, day out. With only three brothers and parents often away on business, things could get pretty quiet for her when the nearest forms of social life were a mile down the lane, or field, or forest – which ever direction you turned. With Rhodri and Anthony commuting to work and University in the city every day, and no parents, it usually fell on her to look after Charlie.

“I guess I should be thankful for the company,” she considered, as for the millionth time, her current situation set up residence in the front of her mind, “even if it’s with a sixteen year old adolescent with the worldly ambition of the spider in the bike shed.”

As Charlie shrugged off this last sadistic comment and wandered back to the living room Tamar made her way through their kitchen with wooden beams and out the side door heading for the garden. As she stepped into the sun her eyes became that of the clearest blue sky without a cloud to fault them. Her frizzy brown curls picked up the breeze and were whisked off of her shoulders. Giving a huge sigh she made her way towards the garden. The path next to the house was made up of cobble stones, authentically weather worn over the years. The wall running parallel to the house made the walkway about a metre wide. Tamar remembered how the wall looked when she was young, when they had first moved in and refurbished the house right through but keeping its main cottage features. She knew that once the wall had lain bare and clean at six foot high but as her parents grew busier, and the siblings older, the hold on the house was loosened, it lost its importance. Now covered with ivy and vibrant fuchsia flowers, the wall seemed more beautiful in her eyes – as did the entire garden, wild and unrestrained, she laughed lightly at its irony. Did the garden really need a lack of consideration to flourish and bloom? Wandering enchanted through her untamed garden Tamar pondered how she was going to figure out what she was meant to do with her life. She had her A-levels in Biology, Maths, Psychology and Textiles but what more were they then grades, hobbies, things she wasn’t bad at trying. She couldn’t face any of it as a career.

She found her old wooden swing near the bottom fence and kicked off absentmindedly. Gazing back at the little cottage she wondered how her brothers had figured out what they wanted to do with their lives. She almost thought the world owed her something, after giving her such a sheltered life she thought she deserved something more, some excitement – but in what form she couldn’t imagine. After all, if her brothers had found theirs, why shouldn’t she?

As she swung the sun dropped below the horizon and sent the sky into a cascade of oranges, pinks and purples, streaked with golden clouds. All this reflected in her eyes as she wondered.

Looking left out of the garden Tamar gazed over the old wooden fence and across the fields. Her swing creaked gently back and forth, she’d been meaning to grease it for so long. Stars began to flicker into sight in the heavens, as did the lights over at Honey End Farm, a few fields away. Tamar noted that it was mostly the bottom half of the farm house that had turned on its lights. She figured it was about the time all the workers and family called it a day and met for dinner. That would be Tamar tomorrow after brushing down the horses for the afternoon and watching the bee keepers at work. She loved that old farm. Her closest friend, Sarah-Kay, lived on the farm with her family, and one of the old barns had been converted for the come-and-go workers to stay in. They all ate together every evening in the downstairs of the biggest barn after a hard day’s work. Tamar could imagine the smell of the roasting meat and vegetables and the sweet scents of desserts topped with the freshly gathered honey. She could hear the fire crackling, merry laughter and padded footfalls of the fluffy sheepdogs.

The farmhouse and its inhabitants were like her second family. Charlie was there most of the time too as he helped in the gardens by the bee hives. Her house always looked quite small from the farm but its old white washed walls stood out among the glorious green of the valleys. With your back turned to the farm it would appear as the only form of life for miles around.

The swing creaked again in motion as the last beams of gold fell below the horizon.

“Tame, dinners getting cold,” Rhodri called out of the back door, “and sorry to hear about your test.” He teased.

Tamar sighed and headed for the house.