Letters to the Author -Larry Stylinson

chapter twenty four

Louis' shoulders sagged when the familiar voicemail he had recognized came in response to his call.

He was so close. So close to being able to talk to Harry for the first time in months. If it wasn't for Ethan-

Louis shook his head. That wasn't Ethan's fault. If he had been showing up to work on time, Ethan would have been nicer and let him take that call. It was Louis' fault, and he knew it.

Louis heart jumped when he heard his phone ringing.

"Hello?" He answered, biting his lip to contain a smile when he realized it was Harry.

"Louis," Harry said in that low, absolutely charming voice of his.

"H-Harry," Louis stuttered, afraid that anything he could say would cause Harry to hang up. "Hi. Uhm. Hi."

"Please talk again," Harry whispered, almost so quiet that Louis couldn't hear him.

"Where have you been?" Louis asked quietly.

"I've been on my tour Louis. I'm really busy and I just wanted to let you know that I'm coming 'round Doncaster this weekend. I was wondering if I could stop by your dorm and talk to you. I need to talk to you."

The last sentence made Louis' heart drop to his stomach, a crashing sound in his ears, and his vision blurred with tears.

"Just forget it Harry. I know what we need to talk about, and frankly, I don't think I can handle hearing it while seeing your face. Just say it now."

"Louis, I-"

"You haven't made contact with me in months. I was so in love with you, you made me so happy! And I thought it was mutual, but the minute you walked out the door was the minute you walked out of my life! Have you been getting my voicemails?!" Louis bit his lip hardly, afraid he would say something worse. Lucile jumped off the bed in surprise when Louis kicked the desk hardly just to let some of his anger out.

"Yeah, I have. They were really sweet, Louis."

Harry used to call him Lou. What happened to that?

"Sweet? Sweet?!"

Louis about hung up. He was expecting this call to be something else. Something that involved Harry apologizing profusely and saying how much he loved and missed him. But no. He was completely apathetic and that was so much worse than being hateful.

"Yeah. You seem to be having a good time in Doncaster."

Louis never knew he could feel so much anger before.

He slammed his thumb on the red end call button, although the light noise it made wasn't satisfying to him. He threw his phone on the bed, before flinging himself on the floor next to Lucile. Lucile scrambled away, but Louis caught her just in time, plopping her on his chest, hoping she could suffocate him with her piles and piles of fluffy white fur.

"Oh Lucile, how could this happen to me?" Louis said, his chest tight and his voice frantic. "I told you there's no happy endings. And you thought I was being cynical!"

Lucile meowed in annoyance, trying to push herself off of his chest, but he didn't let her go. She finally gave up and settled her chin onto his neck. It tickled but Louis didn't care. To be quite honest, he would have preferred if it was worse, actually, painful. That would distract him from this emotional turmoil he was currently going through.

Louis heard his phone ring once. He didn't have the energy or desire to get off the floor and get it. He knew it was Harry. He wondered if Harry would try again. Or if he would just give up after one call.

The latter was correct. He no longer heard his phone ring. Even though he was already upset, he could feel the last bit of hope he had crash to the ground, leaving a ringing in his ears and hot, salty tears in his eyes. He could taste them as they rolled down his temples, around his cheekbones, and onto his lips.

"Lucile, you'll never leave me right? Yeah, I know baby, I know." He cuddled her closer, turning on his side on the floor and watching the carpet underneath his bed. It didn't move, or do anything. He just had nothing else to watch.

***

"How long have you been laying here?"

That was the first thing Niall said when he burst into Louis' room the next morning.

"Don't your balls hurt from laying like that?"

That was the second.

"Let me be," Louis groaned, rolling onto his back and sprawling his legs and arms out as wide as they would go. "I don't want to go anywhere. Don't make me."

"Lou... hate to break it to ya. You work today, remember? You couldn't come to the study group tonight because of it. I remember."

Louis cursed under his breath.

"Niall, why did you have to come in and ruin everything? Lucile and I were having a splendid time cuddling on the floor."

Louis' cheeks flushed when he was the half empty peanut butter jar with a spoon laying on the ground next to him, accompanying an empty box of cosmic brownies.

"It looks like you were stress-eating," Niall commented. He sat on Louis' bed, which was made from the morning before. "What happened?" He pushed his blonde bangs to the side, to reveal pretty blue eyes that Louis never really noticed were so pretty until now.

"Harry called me. I didn't answer because Ethan wouldn't let me. I called Harry after work. He's a prick."

"I knew he was. The minute I found out he went a week after he left without calling you, I knew it."

"Why didn't you tell me?!" Louis whined.

"I don't know. Because I could have been wrong? I don't know." Niall sighed, scratching his shoulder under his white shirt. "All I do know is that you need some fresh air before you go work for another six hours. I'm guessing your skipping your class today?"

"Yeah, but not tomorrow. I can't skip anymore," Louis said sadly.

"Have you talked to your family lately? I know that makes you happy."

"Mum's working and the girls are at school. I'll have to try tonight."

Niall looked down. "I miss you Louis. I miss the happy you. And I know it's selfish of me to say but I'm struggling here because I want you to be happy so bad but I'm running out of things to say or do. Can you help me out? Try a little?"

"What do mean, 'try a little'?" Louis raised his voice. "You're not the one who who fell in love then got ditched! So don't try to tell me I'm not trying!" He was yelling now, and he could feel tears welling up in his eyes.

"You just float through life and have everybody love you and stick around and you don't have any problems and it's not fair, Niall! It's not fair! So just leave me alone and stop acting like you understand when you don't! You're a bloody awful friend! Got it? You are!"

Niall flinched like he'd been punched, and Louis could tell what he said stung. He opened his mouth to apologize, because no, he didn't mean it, he really didn't.

But Niall had already picked himself up off the bed, walking out the door and slamming it shut behind him.

***

Hey, look, I updated! Even though I said I couldn't! Aha.

Good luck to anybody who is taking finals or tests like me! I know you'll do amazing.

I love you.

-Kayla. x