Letters to the Author -Larry Stylinson

chapter twenty two

Sorry. I'm busy. Can I talk to you later?

Louis stared at the text.

The first text he had received in months.

And what it said made him break down into tears.

He tried to swipe the text to delete it, but the wetness on his screen made it impossible. He dried it off on his shirt and deleted it, before throwing his phone on his bed.

Lucile jumped, startled, and ran to the corner of the room.

Louis shook his head and laid on his floor, his arms behind his head and his crossed.

"Really, Harry?" he asked.

Louis soon realized that ever since he started spending more time alone, he would talk to himself more often. He didn't know if that was a good thing or a bad thing.

He was startled when he heard a knock on his door. He got up to open it and saw Niall.

"Hey mate," Niall smiled.

Louis gave him a sad smile back. "Hi, Niall." His hands were still shaking, from when he read that text. He had a text tone just for Harry, and when he heard it he had been so excited. He was hoping to see that Harry maybe broke his phone and was unable to get a new one for a while, or maybe that he missed Louis too and wanted to meet up with him.

But no.

Sorry. I'm busy. Can I talk to you later?

"Lou, I've decided that you need to go out. Whenever we hang out it's in your dorm and I want to go do something. What happened to that spunky Louis I knew when I first met you?"

Louis frowned, looking at the picture of him and Niall at a party with Harry on Halloween. He saw his wide smile, the drunken way he clung to Harry with pure happiness in his eyes.

"He left," Louis said.

Niall followed his eyes to the picture he was staring at, before picking it up and throwing it on the floor.

"Louis. Forget about him. Come with me and some of the guys from English Lit."

"Which guys?"

"Sam and Hunter. C'mon. They're cool. Hunter said he has a huge TV in his room. We can play FIFA. And they have food."

Food. That was the deciding factor for Louis.

"Let's go," Louis said, trying to sound somewhat cheery. It helped that he was wearing his favorite grey vans.

***

"Hey, man," Hunter smiled, shaking Louis' hand. Although they had the same class, Louis never exactly talked to anybody except for Niall, and when he wasn't doing that he was reading.

"Hi, I'm Louis," Louis smiled, adjusting his glasses before shaking hands with Sam.

"Okay, now that that's settled," Niall said loudly, "Where's the chips?"

Hunter laughed, and Louis just shook his head. That was his best friend.

Hunter had three beanbag chairs, which he, Sam, and Niall sat in. Louis opted to sit on the floor next to them, feeling awkwardly shorter. He shrugged it off and accepted the controller from Hunter.

They played for a few hours, casually talking about school and girls and whatever it was that regular boys talked about. But while Louis sat, staring at the screen and playing, all that could enter his mind was that bloody text.

Sorry. I'm busy. Can I talk to you later?

It was as if he was playing the game and he was doing alright, but his mind wasn't in it.

Niall could tell. Louis knew that by the way he worriedly looked over every few minutes, and nodded his head as if telling him to talk.

On the walk there, Niall had said "Talk about yourself. They want to know about you."

So, when they were sitting there, quiet except for the game and Niall's munching on potato chips, Louis spoke.

"I really hate my life."

The boys stopped playing, holding their controllers and looking at Louis.

"Oh," Sam said.

Louis suddenly felt as if that wasn't the right thing to say.

"You wanna talk about it, man?" Hunter asked.

"No," Louis said softly, averting his eyes to stare at the small stain that looked like mountain dew on the carpet.

"You sure?" Sam asked. He was in the beanbag nearest to Louis. He put his hand on Louis' shoulder and it took everything in Louis not to flinch.

"I'm sure," Louis whispered, afraid that if he spoke any louder his voice would crack.

"Well, we're here to listen if you do," Hunter said.

Louis, hoping to lighten the mood, smiled. "Well, thanks mates! This is awkward, so let's go back to playing!" To add to that, he took a bite of a potato chip and relaxed his back against the bed.

"Good idea!" Hunter laughed, but Louis could tell there was still worry in his eyes.

"I second that," Niall smiled, finally speaking. He gave Louis a look, as if saying we're talking later.

***

"Harry, I told some random boys that I hated my life. I think something is wrong with me."

Louis was leaving another voicemail for Harry.

When Harry stopped responding, it started feeling like a diary.

"The only cool thing was that afterwards, Hunter gave me his number and asked me to text him if I needed anything. It's cool to see someone besides Niall caring about me. Because, you know, you don't anymore."

"I used to think that you cared. Just a little. But after you sent that text. You know. Sorry. I'm busy. Can I talk to you later. Yeah. That one? After that I knew you really didn't care."

"Bye Harry."

***

As you can see, I have decided to do more frequent updates with less words. You like that, or no?

Much love.

Comment your thoughts. Sorry for like the year delay or whatever. Aha.

It won't happen again. Hopefully.

I love you guys a lot.

-Kayla