There's The Cat and Then There's Me [boyxboy]

Chapter Twelve: When It All Fell In Place

“…. I can just wait for death to fuck me over one more time,” Accel finished. The tears were gone from his eyes now, the eyeliner stains long since wiped away. Cigarette smoke still slightly clouded the room, in sync with how my mind felt… cloudy and disoriented.

How the fuck can someone have so much shit going on in their life and still be alive to tell the tale? I would have pretty much killed myself… no wonder he’s so… well, ‘hardened’ I guess, to anything I throw at him… not that you throw very well anyway Andrew… you suck shit at lying, being tough and at sports.

The poor guy…

I couldn’t think of a single thing to say. So many options, so many things that I could say, but none that suited the situation.

“Oh,” I whispered, staring hard at the ground and wishing that right now I did have Harry Potter’s invisibility cloak.

‘Oh’? He tells you his fucking life story and all you can say is… ‘Oh’? What the hell kind of person are you?

This bench is uncomfortable.

What the fuck?

Accel stared hard at me, a smile almost gracing his lips, but again it didn’t reach his eyes. Could I blame him though? I mean really, he just told me his life story and I was being a total shit brick.

Chewing nervously on my lip I turned and stared back at him, hoping that all my emotions were piled up in my eyes like they normally were. That way, I don’t actually have to say anything at all.

Apparently it worked. The sadness disappeared from his eyes almost instantly after he took in the look in my grey eyes.

Being read like a book has benefits… I think?

“Ah AJ,” he sighed, leaning back over the seat until his upper body hung off the edge, his head nearly touching the ground. I hesitated for a second before joining him; the blood rush to my head was almost immediate. But in a strange way it felt good, as if it was pumping away all the confusion. “My life is pretty damn shit isn’t it?”

How can he be smirking at a time like this? Especially about his life? Dude… putting it bluntly… it’s fucked up.

“It’s pretty fucked up,” I admitted reluctantly. I really shouldn’t have said it but… I’m a fucking idiot, as I have managed to establish over the past few years of my life.

Accel laughed hollowly at the blunt statement. “I like people who can admit the truth,” he whispered solemnly.

He seemed exactly like the person who would. From what I had just heard, it seemed like Accel had had enough bullshit in his life to fulfil several people’s lives. Anyone like that would appreciate someone who was willing to admit the truth and not be ashamed about it. Sure I don’t like what had happened to him, but it isn’t like I could change that. It was Accel’s past and that’s where it would remain… in the past. But that still didn’t explain anything really. He had given me a life story… I don’t want that. I want answers to my questions… one in particular…

“I still don’t understand one thing,” I asked hesitantly, sitting up properly. Whoa, blood rush to my head….

Accel stayed lying down, shutting his eyes and smiling slightly. He looked really tired and worn out… physically and emotionally. Which I admit is very weird. Accel never is emotional. Every time I’ve met him, even though he is really… uh… ‘intense’… he hasn’t particularly been emotional.

“What would that be AJ?” he asked quietly in the clouded room.

“I don’t understand why yo-”