Love To Love Her (A Ross Lynch/R5 fanfiction)

Admittance

I can't like Ross. No. Not after everything we've said about being just best friends. Not after the countless times we've told people that we were never going to have feelings for each other. I bury my face in my hands. I need to keep this a secret. The last thing I want to do is ruin our perfect friendship. 

My phone dings. Someone from R5 just tweeted. 

"@rossR5: look what I found @itsmecourtney youtube.com/watch?v=Lr8Oh7"

I click on the link and see 12 year old Ross and I staring back at me. 

"Hey guys! It's Courtney,"

"And Ross."

"And this is how to have fun with your best friend who has four siblings!" I exclaimed into the camera. Ross cracked up at how long the title of our little show was. I remember this! Ross and I were extremely bored one day and we were watching YouTubers and decided it would be cool to put together our own web series. This was the first episode- it was basically Ross and I playing pranks on all his siblings. We did a few more episodes before we completely forgot about it. 

"This is Rocky Lynch. He's my older brother." Ross whispered to the camera. I turned it to myself since I was holding the camera. 

"We're going to wake him up." I whispered as well, shaking the headphones I had in my hands. We slipped the headphones on his ears and Ross turned up the volume on his iPod to full blast and I made sure to get a shot of that. Then Ross pressed play and we saw Rocky jump five feet in the air. Then he glared at us. We giggled and ran out of the room. The rest of the video was basically us pulling shenanigans around the house. 

"@itsmecourtney: @rossR5 I remember that. 5 years seems like such a long time ago. Still one of the best days ever."

A few seconds later, my mentions start blowing up. I quickly scroll through and see Rocky's familiar name.

"@rockyR5: @itmecourtney @rossR5 sure it was fun for you guys, you didn't get music blasted in your ears"

"@rikerR5: @rockyR5 @rossR5 @itsmecourtney you all look so young" 

I laugh and pull up Youtube. I watch the other three episodes and feel extremely sad. I miss those uncomplicated days. One of our videos was basically us being ourselves and the song "The Great Escape" by Boys Like Girls was playing in the background. We both had our R5 tshirts on, the ones that had the words "Ready Set Rock" in the Disney font on the back. We both looked so young. 

"@itsmecourtney: being 12 was so much more fun"

I finally put my phone down and am about to go back to my English homework when my mom comes into my room. "Hey, what's up?" I ask. 

"You want to talk about it?" She asks as well. 

"Talk about what?"

"You liking a certain Ross Lynch." She says with a raise of her eyebrows. Suddenly, I find my English paper totally fascinating. Just look at it. The paper is all nice and smooth and wow, my writing is so neat and... "Courtney, look at me." Mom mutters. I slowly lift my head. "Is it true?"

I sigh. "How did you know?" 

"Jason told me about the kiss and how you came home so quickly. I also noticed you've been acting really weird since you got home. Jason didn't notice it, but I'm your mother so of course I did." She laughs. I sigh and she strokes my hair. "It's ok to like him, you know." She tells me. 

"No it's not." 

"Why?"

"Because, he's my best friend. And we've been telling everyone since we were 12 that this wouldn't happen. Plus, I would get hate from his fans and there's the small fact that he would never actually date me." I sigh. She stops stroking. 

"Why would you say that? Sweetie, Ross would be lucky to have you." Mom says. I roll my eyes. 

"You have to say that. You're my mom." I laugh. She gets up and straightens out her clothes. 

"Maybe, but it's true. And I'm pretty sure the fans want you and Ross together. They, what do you kids call it? Ship you together?" Mom wrinkles her brows. I burst out laughing at the fact that my mom just used the word 'ship' in that context. 

"Raura and Raia are still way more popular." I tell her, wiping away the tears. 

"I've seen my fair share of Rossney stuff online." She winks and walks out of the room. I'm reminded of the utterly embarrassing fact that my mom got Twitter and Instagram before I did. Ross and Rocky never let me forget it either. 

Ok, so I like Ross. I admit it. But no-one can know. 

Ross' POV (HA DIDN'T SEE THAT ONE COMING idek)

The kiss that I had with Courtney was..... amazing. But then she left. Almost right away. No idea what that was about. 

"Yo, why did Court leave so early?" I ask Jason. He is playing video games on my couch with Riker and Rocky. 

"Dunno. She said she wasn't feeling good." He says, not taking his eyes off the game. I roll my eyes. 

"Wow, you really don't know girls, do you?" I ask with a chuckle. This catches his attention. 

"Why do you say that?" Jason questions. 

"Girls never actually mean what they say." I inform him, taking a chip. Jason shrugs and turns his full attention back to the video game. 

"I think I know why." A voice comes from behind me. It's Rydel and she's standing there with her arms crossed. She motions for me to follow her upstairs. I make my way into her very pink bedroom and sit on her bed. She closes and locks the door. "I'm pretty sure Courtney likes you." She says.

"No way."

"Are you kidding me?" Rydel asks. I glance from side to side- something I always do when I'm nervous or confused. "She got totally weird after you kissed her and hasn't talked to you since. And I'm pretty sure you like her too." She smiles smugly and folds her arms across her chest. I groan. 

"This again? When are you all going to give it up?" I say frustratedly. She shakes her head. 

"This time I have a reason to believe it other than the fact that you would be cute together. I saw the way you kissed her Ross, and it wasn't acting. You can try to convince yourself all you want, but I know you. Probably better than you know yourself. Then the fact that you went looking for that video and posted it on freaking Twitter." Rydel says. I don't respond. 

Maybe she's right. 

"Ok fine, maybe I have slight feelings for her," I start. I see Rydel start to scream something, but I put my hands over her mouth. "But no-one but you needs to know about this, agreed?" I ask. She nods her head and I take my hands off. 

"This is so exciting!" Rydel claps her hands. I hold her wrists. 

"Yeah, yeah. But I'm serious Rydel. You can't tell anyone about this. I'm still trying to figure it out myself. Plus if Courtney found out...... It would ruin our friendship." I sigh. 

No-one can know about this. It's my little secret. 

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Whoa two updates in one day? You guys are really lucky that I love writing this. This is really more of a filler chapter, but I really wish the video thing was true. I was like, I should totally make an example of the video! Lemme just go get 12 year old Ross.... oh wait. That was a depressing reality check. 

But seriously. I miss like 14 year old Ross. And young R5. I mean, I love R5 now, obviously. But sometimes I miss what they were like younger. Sometimes I want to turn to turn back the clock and make myself discover them in 2009 so I would know what it's like to know them before A&A and when Riker was the most popular- not Ross.

But don't get me wrong: i think the whole 'fan from the beginning so that makes me better' thing is bullshit. I want to be a fan from the beginning for myself, not to brag to other people. I HATE it when people make a point of saying that they've been a fan since 2010 or 2011 or something like that. It's so stupid. 

ANYWAYS vote/comment/fan you know the drill :) pretty please guys?

Stay beautiful,

Courtney