Acting vs reality (A Jamilla Story)

Not now

'Camilla!!'
I stand in a white room, no walls just white. My whole body feels light and weightless, I'm alone. Free, no pain.
I could walk and walk but there is no door.. My chest feels normal, nothing different about me.
'Camilla!!'
The room darkens as I'm swept out of my unconscious state and back into reality.
I feel two hands stretch across my back scooping me into a warm surrounding. I sway slightly as I allow my eyes to painfully jilt open.
'You're ok!'
I faintly smile.
'I thought you'd never ask!'
I look into his eyes. If I'd of just admitted I still cared from the beginning I wouldn't be in this mess. He's the man I wanted. Needed. The guy who makes everything fit into place, my mr perfect! I don't care about the past anymore, I care about him and me. A future, if he still wants it. His grip tight around my back holding me steadily in his arms, my body regaining more strength. The pain in my ribs stings but it's bearable if I have him. Nothing matters. I look at his perfect white teeth shinning back at me, his smile grows an inch when he knows I'm looking at him.
My eyes drift.
'Camilla stay with me.'
I lift them open.
'I need to go home, will you take me?'
I smile.
'Yes let me get the car.'
He steadily moves me out of his arms leaning me back against the wall. He goes to get up, I grab his arm.
'Wait, you're forgetting something.'
I smile. So does he. I glance at his lips he does mine.
Slowly and gently his hand glides up my side and across my back and he pulls me towards him, my side stings but I ignore it. Taking me hand and resting it along his jaw. He stops moving before our lips meet.
'What is it?' I smile.
He hits his nose along mine and whispers.
'You're so beautiful Camilla.'
I almost cry at his words, they're filled with so much passion and love.
Carefully my lips hit his, his hand slowly running along my spine. Tingles spreading along my skin and his other hand greats mine.
I lock my fingers in his. the whole world stands still around us. My chest pressed against his, his heart thumbing against mine.
Suddenly my stomach wrenches, my chest tightens. Pain hits strongly in my rib. I cough, choke rather.
He grabs my hand tightly. I cover my mouth with the other.
He soothes my back in attempts to make me stop, I can't. My eyes are heavy and its hurting to breathe.
I cough hysterically for a few moments then stop.
Everything eases. My pain halts. My eyes focus again.
Slowly I pull my hand from my mouth and smile at James. Suddenly I notice my hand, so does he.
'I need to go to the hospital..' In an instant I'm falling forward.

James' POV
I catch her before she hits the ground, the blood dripping from her hand. I scoop her back into my arms dashing to the car.
'Camilla, I need you to say awake.'
I try shaking her but she doesn't respond. My heart is racing. I have to get her to a hospital.

Camilla's POV
My eyes slowly open, I see James beside me driving the car very pace-fully. I smirk.
'Camilla come on wake up. We're nearly here!' He squeezes my arm.
'You know you're not a doctor in real life.' I steadily throw the words out of my mouth.
He smirks at me and focuses back on the road. I feel my chest racing and my eyes going fuzzy. My chest is warm too, like I'm burning up..
'James.. I think I'm going to die.'
My head tilts forward, I feel my legs moving.. My eyes drop.

James's POV
'Camilla no don't.'
Suddenly her body pulses, she's fitting. I don't know how to help. I pull up quickly at the front of the hospital. My hands nervously shaking as I drag myself from the car.
'Please.. Please help her..'
Nurses run frantically to the car. I stumble backwards.. Seeing her like that.. She's rushed on to a stretcher. I watch her as they dash her past me. I drop backwards falling to the ground.
'Sir are you ok?'
One of the young females comes to my side.
'Yes, I need.. She.. Is she going to be ok?' I steadily push myself back to my feet.
'It's uncertain right now. Can I take her name please?'
I look at the nurse, my mind yelling a thousand words. I never wanted to see her in that way, so weak and vulnerable. What if she dies, what if I lose her. It will be my fault, I kissed her when Jordan was there. He wouldn't have done that if it wasn't for me. I can't lose her not now I've got her back in my life. Not now.
'Sir?' The nurse grabs my arm sending my mind back into focus.
'Camilla Arfwedson'
I swallow, my mouth dry.
'Lets get you Inside mr?'
'Anderson. James Anderson.'

30 minutes later.
'The operation is taking longer than usual but that doesn't mean anything. I'll keep you noted on any changes.'
She smiles as she exits the room. I sit in a patient chair staring at the empty bed beside me.
I drift into thought.
Everyday I act in a hospital acting out situations like this, I see it as natural it's just my job. But I'm here now, and it's real. I could lose her, I could be like all those actors who played the roll of the grieving lover. This isn't how it's supposed to be is it? The bed, the sheets so white and pristine, the little details that I've never paid attention to as I've always been acting.
I close my eyes and see her face. Camilla, everything about her so pure. I can't lose her now and I certainly won't give up hope.