Broken Hope (Newt fanfic)

8•My little warrior

Hope's P.O.V

Newt refused to tell me what he meant and so I decided to drop it. Everyone has their secrets. I have mine.

It was breakfast time and Newt was sitting on the bed next to me with a plate of food in his soft hands.

His eyes was locked with mine and I felt so ashamed with myself. I couldn't even do this one simple task. He must think I'm a freak.

He's just doing his job. His brown orbs dug into mine and I could tell what he wanted to say. His eyes were begging me to eat. But my stomach refused.

I didn't have control of my body anymore. I'm like a puppet to my own mind, my thoughts, my actions.

Newt scooted closer to me so our knees was touching but I ignored the sensation that went through me.

His large warm hand placed itself in the crook of my back and laid the plate on my lap encouraging me to eat.

A plain ham sandwich. Before all of this I would of gladly ate this but I changed. Things...have changed there's no denying that.

I craved the taste of the food but I kept repeated the same words in my head.

I don't need it
I don't need it...

My thoughts were soon interrupted by a familiar cute British accent. He had moved his position and was now sitting behind me with his hand still on my back.

"Love, please stop doing this to yourself. I can't watch you do this to yourself. I can't see you tear yourself part like this..." He whimpered into my shoulder.

His warm breathe sent uncontrollable shivers down my spine. I sucked in a sharp breath, he was so close to me.

Snap out of it Hope! This isn't the time or the place to be thinking about this. His large hand reached down and gently grabbed mine.

I reminded myself to breath. He could probably feel my heart beating like crazy. He guided my our hands over to the sandwich.

"It's okay love, you don't need to eat all of it...but I'll help you through this, we'll do it together." He whispered into my ear so only we could hear it.

This one little sentence did a lot. No one has ever been there for me, maybe he might finally help me. Maybe he can walk me through this.

A small smile played on my lips...A real one. For just a moment I felt hope, I felt happy. Just for a second I wasn't faking my smile. It felt...good to say the least.

I didn't stop him when we both picked up the sandwich. He gently pulled it closer so it was inches away from my mouth. I felt the hunger burn inside of me like a raging flame.

The dark thoughts and cruel voices barged into my brain but Newts sweet voiced pushed them away. He was like my warrior who fought them away.

I knew if I ate even half of the sandwich I would be sick, I had to take this slow. Was I really going to eat this? I just stared at it contemplating my decision.

"Hope, I'm here...don't listen to the voices..." He comforted. How did he know about the voices?

Anyway I knew he wasn't going to leave me. So I raised the food to my mouth. The first piece of food I've eaten in ages.

I nibbled at it slightly but then sunk my teeth into his and took a small bite. The tags flooded my mouth, oh god how much I missed ham.

I took another small bite and although I knew it would take a very long time for me to recover I felt this was the first step.

I took one more bite of Frypans food and placed it back down on the plate. I couldn't eat anymore of it or I was going to be sick.

My body would sometimes just throw up at the smell of food so I did pretty good to eat a quarter of the sandwich.

Newt wrapped his arms around my waist from the back of me and squeezed me slightly.

"Thank you...thank you, I know it's going to be hard but I'm so proud already. You don't have to eat anymore if you don't want to. You've already made a big accomplishment."

He moved the plate over to the side and he laid me down so I was on my back. He did the same thing but then we both changed so we were facing each other.

"We will work on this day by day, we will work on everything that you've done to yourself. You don't have to go through this alone anymore. I promise." He spoke with such determination that I believed him.

I didn't know what to say but I didn't want to say anything. I just wanted to lay here with him.

I can't have these feelings, I've tried to get rid of them but I can't. Why do I have to love him. It hurts, more than what I hurt myself with the blade.

He doesn't know it but knowing I can't have him hurt me more than anything ever did.

I hate that I love Newt.

Gally says he hates that he loves me.

The glade is starting to become more confusing than the maze...

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What do you guys think? Good? But Hope might be getting better! Newt is her little warrior♡