Blue Eyes

Chapter 14: You Are Good Enough

A/N: Warning, there will be implied sexual content. No, I won't write the actual smut, not here and not in an extra chapter. At this point, I really suck at it. I tried, but I didn't like the outcome. I hope I didn't disappoint anyone with this.

You are good enough

Castiel felt arms wrap around his waist from behind, his cheek being kissed in the process. He smiled to himself, turning around to kiss Dean for real. Butterflies erupted from his stomach as he met Dean's waiting lips. They have been dating for a while now, but Dean still made him feel giddy every time.

"Hey, babe," Dean winked, pulling the shoulder strap of his backpack to place it higher on his back.

"Hello, Dean, how are you?"

"I'm good, especially now I see you," Dean smirked, his grin widening once Castiel cheeks reddened. He liked that he still had that effect on Cas, it made him feel extremely smug. I thought, maybe we could hang out today?"

"Yes, I would like that," Castiel beamed. He had not seen Dean, besides school, after the dance and he craved his presence. "I'm home alone today, so you can come over to my place if you want to?"

It was that moment when Castiel realized what he was suggesting with this. Sure, they hung out at Dean's house without parental supervision, but Sam was always there. They were never alone at Castiel's house either. Castiel's mom or dad was always there, making sure they kept the door open to prevent certain things from happening. It's not that Castiel never thought about doing those things with Dean, Castiel was sure he was ready. He trusted Dean with his life and wouldn't want to do this with anyone else. Yet, it scared him. He was a virgin, too inexperienced for a guy like Dean who had probably done this before.

These thoughts kept nagging at him the entire day. At lunch, Dean had asked him what was going on and if he was okay, Castiel lied and said that he was worried about a test. He could tell Dean didn't believe him, but he kept quiet and intertwined their pinkies together underneath the table. The action comforted Castiel but didn't ease his worried mind.

Why would Dean choose him anyway? He was inexperienced, he had no clue what he was doing, and he didn't even had a relationship with anyone before Dean. And Dean? He could pick anyone that he wanted and he still picked him. The rather shy, virgin nerd. Castiel shook his head as if he could make the stinging feeling of doubt go away.

To say that Castiel was nervous once school ended would be an understatement. He was jumpy the entire ride to his house and Dean kept looking at him, eyes filled with concern. This wasn't helping much either.

"Are you okay, Cas?"

Well, here we go. They had been watching movies from the moment they arrived at Castiel's place, not really talking. Dean had noticed there was something off but decided to give Cas the time he needed.

"Why me, Dean?" Castiel asked, his voice a mere whisper. He hated this; the insecurities from before they were even dating. He shouldn't think like this, but to him, it was unbelievable that Dean wanted him just for who he was.

"Cas, baby, we went over this before. You have nothing to worry about," Dean soothed, kissing Castiel on his forehead.

"I know, but I can't help but feel like I'm not good enough," Cas sighed, burying his head in the crook of Dean's neck. Dean was silent for a moment, wondering how someone as beautiful as Cas, inside and out, could think like this.

"Not good enough? Cas-"

"No, you don't get it, Dean. I'm not experienced; this is my first relationship ever. I never even went further than kissing," Castiel snapped, his eyes prickling with unfallen tears.