Break Me-A Harry Styles Fanfiction

Chapter 12-"I Should Go."

   I wait for the flash of panic that usually accompanies any physical contact with those unfamiliar to me, but it doesn't come. Instead, I can feel my rage dissolving, and I try to hold onto it as best as I can. Harry's hands cup my face, and mine find his waist, my surroundings slowly dulling around me, as Harry's warm tongue slides between my parted lips. I am hesitant, and extremely confused by his forward actions, but I can't will myself to stop, our mouths mending together, bodies tangled up.
    My moment of bliss doesn't last, and as I knew it would, reality slips away from me, and all I see is him. His honey colored eyes, and intoxicated smirk. The movements of my mouth cease, and my arms fall limp at my sides. My heart's pace rapidly increases, and I can feel the tears threatening to brim over my eyes.
  "Bella?" I hear Harry's voice, but it sounds distant, far away. I open my eyes, and it's all blurry. I break, and allow the tears to overpower the dam holding them back. They fall from my eyes in what feels like gallons. My breaths are choppy, but reality begins to come back into focus, indecipherable objects taking shape, returning to their original configurations. His honey eyes disappear, and are replaced with Harry's green ones. Concern fills them, his pupils dilating slightly.
  "It's ok." Harry coos, using his thumb to wipe a fallen tear from my cheek. My chest rises and falls quickly as I catch my breath, and I break Harry's worried gaze, too ashamed to look up at him.
  "Sorry, I..." I whisper, unable to finish my sentence. He looks apprehensive, obviously concerned that his actions caused my state of panic.
    "Do I scare you?" I look back up at him, mentally debating whether I lie to spare his feelings, or tell him honestly the extent of how much he frightens me.
    "Yes." I tell him. He releases a defeated sigh, and runs his fingers through his chocolate curls. I want to tell him that he had nothing to do with my reaction, he actually helped to post pone it, but I can't without revealing why I am the way I am. A tension lingers between us, and I am unsure of what to do.
    "Harry," I try.
    "I should get you back to your dorm." He interrupts, and I can see the hurt that I've caused etched into his perfectly sculpted features.
    "Ok." I mumble.

  The walk back to my dorm is spent in silence, leaving me to relish in regret of my outburst. We reach my door, and Harry's arm extends to grab the handle, but I pull his arm back.
  "Harry, I'm sorry." I say, looking directly into his eyes. His forest eyes soften upon gazing into mine, and my heart flutters a bit. "I've just...I'm a bit..um, nervous?" I speak slowly, testing out each word that falls from my lips. "You just took me by surprise, that's all." I shake my head, my words coming out all wrong. I'm not making any sense, Harry must think I'm insane. Harry looks completely bewildered, and I sigh.
  "I don't know how to explain this." I admit. I let out a laugh, aware of how confused the boy in front of me must be. "Am I making any sense?" Harry offers me a gentle smile, and shakes his head.
  "Not really." I sigh once more.
  "I have baggage." I mumble, breaking his stare. Harry takes a step towards me, decreasing the small space between us, and I intake a sharp breath, unsure of what he'll do. He moves a stray piece of hair from my face, tucking it behind my ear. I can't help but smile at how affectionate, and gentle the usually terrifying boy has been today.
    "We all do." He whispers, his face dangerously close to mine. His hot breath fans over my face, and my eyes flutter shut. I desperately need the feeling of his lips pressed against mine again, but the hesitance still lingers within me. I know the flashbacks will return. I make a mental decision to repress all memories for as long as possible, hoping it will actually work. Harry's lips brush against mine momentarily before the door to my dorm is flung open.
    "What the hell?" Naomi's high pitched shrill rings through my eyes. Both of our heads snap in her direction, and Harry steps away from me, my body extremely aware of the loss of his close proximity.
    "Naomi, I, um.." I stutter. Though Naomi and I aren't even friends, she looks betrayed. She looks back an forth between Harry and me, before closing the door in our faces. A pang of guilt rises within me, and I reopen the wooden door. I find Naomi sitting on her bed.
  "Naomi? I'm sorry that you walked out on that, I didn't-" My speech come to a halt, when I meet Naomi's eyes. Tears fall from them, her makeup streaming down her face in black streaks.
  "Naomi, what's wrong?" I gush, hurrying over to her bed. I sit down with her, expecting her to shoo me off, but she makes no such attempt. I wrap an arm around her shoulder, and pull her in close to me.
    "I told you to stay away from him." She cries in between shaky breaths. I release her, and look into her blue eyes, hatred and sadness mixed within them.
    "What?"
    "Um, is everything ok in here?" Harry knocks on the door, before opening it and stepping inside. He locks eyes with the crying girl on the bed, and immediately looks uncomfortable. What's going on?
    "Get out!" Naomi shrieks at him, her shoulders slumping down as hysterical sobs overwhelm her. I am unsure of what to do. Naomi is always so confident and collected, I've never seen her look so fragile and weak. I shoot Harry a pleading look, begging for some sort of explanation. He drops my gaze, his eyes taking interest in the floor beneath him.
  "Did you hear me?" Naomi sobs. "Leave! I told you that I never wanted to see you again!" What the hell? Harry looks to Naomi, then back to me. When he doesn't move, Naomi rushes into our shared bathroom, locking herself in.
    "What the hell was that?!" I raise my voice at Harry. He runs his hand through his hair, frustration clear in his face.
    "Naomi and I, um, have...history." He admits.
      "What did you do to her?" My voice is flat. Harry's eyes bore into mine, and for once, I don't look away.  I hold his gaze, and he sighs.
      "I should go." He whispers. Before I can protest, he leaves the room, closing the door behind him.