The Experience

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I never really wondered why I trusted so many boys, over and over again. Especially after my 6th grade experiences. It didnt make sense. I never told anyone about it, but it always hung over my head. How could anyone forget? It was night time. About 9:45 when I snuck out of the house to go to this party my best friend was having. I knew that I was gonna be uncomfortable, especially since she invited about 50 of her friends from her old school, and like 50 high school kids. I got there at about 10:15, and the party had just started, even though there were already about 70 people in the house. I walked Into the kitchen and poured myself a drink, liquor. It was the first time I had ever drank. I regretted it the next day, but at that moment I felt like it was the only way to get more outgoing, and have some fun. I walked into the living room and immediately found myself dancing with 2 guys. It was so much fun, and everyone was having such a great time. I ended the dance and walked over to the kitched and sat down on a stool. Before I knew it, a guy came up to me. He looked like he was in 10th grade. He sat down next to me and put his arm around my shoulder. We talked and talked until he finally took my hand and led me upstairs to the bedroom. We sat down on the bed and continued talking with him occasionally going downstairs and getting us more drinks. He was so cute, and tall, and buff, and that's when it happened. We were sitting down talking about girlfriends, and boyfriends when he asked me if I was a virgin or not. I told him no even though I was. He replied with "Well then none of this should be a surprise", before leaning in and kissing my neck. I didn't know what was going on, but I knew it felt good, and his lips were super soft. I kissed him on the lips, and thats when things got "different". He started moving his hands up and then in between my legs. I grabbed his arm, and he brought it up. He grabbed my undeveloped breast and began to squeeze them. I let him do that even though it felt so wierd. After that he got up onto his knees and started unbuckling his belt, and pull his zipper down. "What are you doing", I asked, afraid to hear an answer. "Haha, you know what's coming. This isn't your first time", he said. I got scared wondering how this was going to end. He stuck his hands in between my legs and pulled my pants down. "Wait, stop", I said softly. "Cmon baby, it'll be fun", he replied. I tried to push him away, but he forced and pressed down on me. "STOP!", I yelled. He covered my mouth with one hand and pulled my pants off with the other. I wanted to fight him but he laid on top of me and I wasn't able to move. He slid inside of me. I was so confused. It felt a little good at first, but then he started pushing me harder into the bed. Soon he was going faster and faster, I was in so much pain, I thought I was going to die! Suddenly I felt something pop inside of me, and he began to go faster and faster. I closed my eyes and stopped trying to fight him, it put me in so much more pain, I couldn't even stand to fight anymore. after about 2 minutes, he pulled out of me and stood up. I laid there in shock as he zipped up his pants, and climbed out the window. I laid there for almost an hour before a couple teenagers came in the room and saw me. They told me that there was blood all over the bed, and that's when I began to panic, and blacked out. When I woke up, I was still in the bed and paramedics were in the room on the side of the bed. They lifted me up off the bed, and onto the stretcher. I looked over at the bed, saw all the blood, and blacked out again. When I woke up again, I was in the hospital. I looked up and saw my mom standing over me talking to the doctor crying. My dad was sitting in the chair sitting with my little brother. My best friend Sarah was sitting next to them crying. It was so horrible. I could still feel all the pain. I couldn't help but to start crying and my mom ran over and laid her hand on my forehead. She soothed me and ran her hands through my head until I ran out of tears and fell back to sleep.

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