#AskEmma

Chapter 16

'Haley, let's go to the Winter Fashion show tonight.'

'Umm ___I'm tired Stacy. I think I'll just head on home.'

'But there's lots of freebies and designer goodie bags.'

Haley pursed her lips. She felt a sudden ache in her heart. 'Not tonight please Stace,' she slipped on her coat and walked out.

Stacy helplessly watched her friend walk away. Seems like the love bug had bitten her pretty badly, poor Haley. There was a time when nothing could stop Haley from attending the exclusive Fashion Shows. Now without a blink of the eye, even though she had personalised front rows seats, she was just shrugging away the invitation.

Haley loved the soothing walk home each afternoon. She didn't pay much attention to her shoulders being bumped by the hasty pedestrian traffic rushing home or to their evening appointments. Neither did she register the aromatic smells from the delis or street cafes; she just walked at a snail's pace like a programmed robot, until she arrived at her home. Normally she would give in to temptation and buy a mouth- watering croissant or jam turnover pastry, but in the last month since Xanthus had broken up with her, food or recreation held no appeal.

Work was her only focus right now. It sometimes helped her to forget Xanthus, forget the pain, the passion, her love for him, but there was always something to remind her of him. Last week at a TV Studio, somebody had walked pass, and she got a whiff of the familiar cologne that Xanthus favoured. For a moment it had blanked her train of thought, but luckily, her publisher had nudged her and Haley had quickly regrouped her wayward mind.
Just yesterday, Lizzie had dragged Haley out to lunch. Familiar nuances of flavours attacked her nostrils, like the steak that was served at the table next to Haley... just the way Xanthus liked it. And as if to punish her more, a Greek Deli had opened up just across from her office. That was a cruel twist of fate, for the entire day, the whiff of this or that Greek savoury flavour would be like a nasty reminder, in case for an hour or so, work would dare to hold her focus.

She locked her door, mechanically made her way to the bathroom, peeled of her clothes without thought and stepped into the shower. She stood under the calming hot steamy water for a little longer than usual and eventually dragged herself out. She wrapped a towel around her hair, pulled an old sweater from university days over her head and wrinkled her face in the mirror at how it just hung on her body. She'd lost a lot of weight in the last three weeks. All of her designer work wardrobe just hung on her body distastefully. She should go and get a few new items that would fit her slimmer figure better, but even retail therapy held no appeal, and it always used to. She should have gone to the fashion show with Stacy, if just to replenish her wardrobe. Perhaps later tonight she'll go online and order a few items. She did have the sneak preview catalogue that had been emailed to her.

Haley walked into the kitchen more from habit than a desire for nourishment, she opened the refrigerator, there was just half a carton of milk, some tomatoes and nothing else that could constitute a meal. She grabbed an apple from the fruit bowl on the counter and sat in from of the TV, tucking one leg under her. She flicked through the channels. There was a stand-up comedian on the one channel, but she found comedy too much of an effort. She flicked through other channels and found them covering current affairs or the sports round up from around the world. Then she flicked onto the next channel and a poignant love affair was being dramatized. The lady was sobbing her heart out into a pack of tissue. Haley found the TV too depressing, switched it off, threw the half eaten apple into the bin and decided to climb into bed. Not that sleep welcomed her. She tossed and turned for a few hours, reached for her mobile, re-read old endearing text messages that Xanthus had sent her in happier times.

How could he just end their relationship with such clinical detachment? Was he not missing her? Didn't he yearn for the physicality of their relationship? Can he just move on just like that, when the passion between them had not run its course? She felt her heart puncture at the thought that Xanthus would take another woman in his arms, or worse that he would make love to and whisper sweet blandishments to and gaze into another woman's eyes with the smouldering passion that she always found so arousing in his dark expressive eyes. Stifling a sob, she shut her eyes tight, shaking away the reality, that Xanthus was a man with a vociferous sexual appetite. He would not brood for her. She was just a chapter in his illustrious life. He would just turn the page and move on. He didn't do sentiment and he was certainly not inclined to resist propositions from the opposite sex.
Didn't she know that on a very personal level? Isn't that exactly how they began their relationship, by her propositioning him and getting him into her bed?
So if he had not been averse to her propositioning, why would a healthy sexual stud like him say no to any other attractive, hungry hopeful female prey? Heaving heavily, unable to will sleep to consume her wakefulness, she wished morning to come quicker, so she didn't have to be alone in her cold, miserable, dismal bed.