Breaking Glass

(15) Goodbyes

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Jealousy. Betrayal. Heartbreak. Those are the feelings I feel when I first see Aiden and that woman together. Then comes disappointment and anger, not at him, but myself.

I was the one who chose this. I was the one who ran. I was the one who told him to go away.

He leaned down to kiss her cheek and my heart faltered and clenched. That could've been me.

I wished I could be different, be someone else - someone better. I had to live with my mistakes and that is the way it is.

Now I was with child. Out of wedlock. And with someone I wasn't with anymore. What will they do? Burn me and my newborn as if I am a Witch? Hang me for the whore I am? Exile me like they did my sister?

Whatever it is, I deserve it.

Aiden let go of the woman and looked around. His eyes catch mine and for a moment he makes forward movement as if he was to come to me, but then a scowl crossed his lips and he planted his feet where he was. His eyes had a glint of a warning. Turning around, he walked to the back part of the shop that was concealed by a curtain. That was where the woman went.

I didn't realize that I was burning holes where I last saw Aiden until Lydia touched my shoulder. "Did you see Arabella?"

I gasped and inhaled sharply, jumping in place. "Lydia! Do not scare me like that!"

"I'm sorry," she said.

I brushed myself off, ignoring all the stares by the townsfolk. "No, I didn't see Arabella."

"Why were you staring at that place so hard then?" she asked.

"That is Aiden's shop," I replied.

"I know," Lydia replied simply. "I just want to know what about it is making you so upset."

I looked around for a moment and tightened my lips into a line. "There was another woman."

"Well of course. You let him go, sweetheart."

"Well that doesn't mean that he can go and - and... Be with some other woman!"

Lydia's look softened. "Yes, it does, Rose. You can't expect him to wait for you forever."

"I wasn't," I hissed.

"Rose, you are still such a young woman with so much to learn..."

"I needn't learn more that I do now," I say indignantly, puffing my chest out.

"Oh, sweet. Yes you do," Lydia said as she pulled me in for a long hug. We were locked in an embrace for quite some time, but she finally let me go. Her hands were on my shoulders and a small smile was on her cheeky face. "You are such a beautiful girl."

For some strange reason, I a blush grew on my cheeks. Tears pricked the back of my throat, and I fought to hold them back. So many feelings bubbling up in me eventually overcame me and I began to get flustered. "Th- Thank you."

"Promise me you'll do one thing," Lydia said suddenly.

"What is it?"

"Love like you never had before," she said, letting me go and stepping into the carriage.

Inhaling a sharp breath, I crashed into her, sobbing. "Lydia, I didn't know you for so long. But you have made such an impact in my life that is incomparable to anyone else. You're the mother I never had." I was clenching tight to her, completely dampening her dress.

I was going to miss Lydia so much. My father did the worst thing possible. Hanging her brought on a quick and painless death. But firing her... Eventually she would have no money, and therefore no food. Starvation is a slow and painful death.

I wished that I never acted the way I did to her. She could've helped me so much more during those times with Cade.

You never know how important someone is to you until you lose them.

Lydia patted my back. "Oh, if only you knew."

I let go of her, using my sleeve to wipe off the moisture on my face. Sniffles left my nose and I was still choked up but I managed to talk. "What does that mean?"

Instead of a response, Lydia offered me a small smile. She turned around and hoisted herself up onto the carriage. I cried out to her, tried to grab onto her dress, but she only shrugged and kicked me off. My sobs were back. "Let me go!" she ordered in a loud voice, not turning back to look at me.

With one more desperate attempt I reached out for her dress, yanking it when my fingers found the soft fabric. "I can't."

Lydia wobbled under the strength of my hold and craned her neck to look at me. I saw that her face was tear stained. Her eyes held a look of plea that was beyond my capacity to deny. My joints went limp and she yanked the tail of her dress from my hands.

I just then noticed it had begun to rain. The cold droplets of water felt like bullets on my skin. Calling me back to life when I so dearly wanted to let it go. They bounced off of the buildings, the now muddy roads, making a noise that was making me increasingly claustrophobic. A slight breeze also sprung up, and I found myself shivering, teeth chattering.

I felt my bottom hit the mud and I didn't bother get up. I would only go back down. The only thing I could do was watch the Durhams' rented carriage close its door and drive away. It became smaller and smaller, symbolizing the amount of hope that I had left. Eventually, it was so minuscule that it was hard for me to see. But I still kept focused on it, refusing to give up.

Then, just as fast as everything else in life, it disappeared.

I don't know how long I sat there, my gaze fixed on the vanishing point. It could've been hours, minutes, seconds - it all would have been the same to me. But something to my left, something bright and green caught my attention. I met Aiden's keen eyes. They were transfixed on me, their green-ness shining in the gray that is my world. His eyes looked like a fresh spring meadow in the middle of a winter forest. Unplaced. Magical. Enchanting.

They held the same look of love they did every time he looked at me.

I wasn't cold nor shivering anymore. I didn't even feel the rain beating on my back. Instead, everything became focused, clearer, brighter.

A bright white and yellow object swaying with the wind called to me. My head snapped to it and I saw a small daisy sprouting up from it's place in the mud about an arm's length away from me. I reached out for it, and my fingers touched the small petal. A sudden gust of wind blew, taking the small flower.

I watched as it floated down to the ground, landing in the middle of the street before a carriage rolled over it.

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hello! :) I am in theater class, writing this on my iPod guys. But I got the sudden inspiration. I'm so sorry about not uploading quick enough!!! Ugh. I give y'all permission to hate me for it. :P

So anyways, yeah. This chapter was sad. I had an alternate ending to this chapter that was happier, but I felt like this one would have more affect. I really am trying to write better guys. :) Well, the special kids for partners in theater are about to come in. And I wanna upload before then :D so... Yeah! I'm sick too :/ and super busy. I have a major test this Thursday D: pray I do well. :)

Anyway, I'll try to upload soon!

Oh and LISTEN TO DEMI LOVATO'S NEW CD,"Unbroken". It is so amazing. Seriously.

'Til next time!

Daniela.