Battered and Bruised

I Hate My Life

Chapter 20! :D Thank you all who have read this far and voted/commented/fanned! New chapter will be out soon!

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Jayda

My eyes fluttered open; I could barely remember where I was. I looked at Alex sleeping next to me; I do however remember what he called me earlier, I smiled. Yawning and stretching I got up and walked to the bathroom, careful not to wake him. I turned on the shower and grabbed the little shampoo and conditioner bottles from the counter; my face looked different in the mirror. I looked at myself, everything looked the same except for my expression; I looked happy. The last time I looked in the mirror I looked dead…I shook my head; I’m not going to be abused any more. I took a deep breath; I’m going to live my life to the fullest. Alex and I will be together forever; I exhaled loudly feeling immediate relief from my newly found confidence. I got into the shower, the warm water almost washing away my bruises and aches. After the nice long shower I stepped out and wrapped a towel around me; even though I washed away all evidence of Benjamin I felt like he was still lingering. I looked at myself in the mirror with my hands on the counter; a little flash caught my attention. My ring. The ring Benjamin proposed with, the one that made me cry made me happy and now…made me anxious. I pulled the ring off leaving a red mark where it once was and threw it in the toilet bowl. “That’s enough from you Benjamin.” I flushed the ring. “Go rot in hell.” I growled.

“That’s my girl.” I jumped; Alex was standing in the doorway. “Sorry…I didn’t mean to scare you.” He tried to hide his smirk. “It’s okay.” I smiled and hugged him. “Tell me something.” I looked up at him; I began to think of how he let me go. I shook the memories away and focused on him. “Anything.” He put his hands on my hips. “Did you really love someone else?” pain washed over his face, I began to feel bad about bringing up something that was in the past. “You want the truth?” he tapped his hands; I nodded. “I’ve never loved anyone other than you. When I told you that…it…it was for your own good. Or so I thought.” I furrowed my eyebrows confused. Why was it for my own good? “What do you mean?” he sighed. “I did cheat on you…but I hated doing it. I pushed you away so I wouldn’t hurt you again.” I looked down; I didn’t know what to feel. Should I be mad? That was years ago…I was a little hurt though. “How long did you stay with…whoever that girl was?” I don’t know why I was asking these questions; nevertheless I wanted to know the answers. “I kicked her out the day you arrived here.” He lifted my chin to look me in the eyes. “I haven’t been with anyone since.” He said softly. In a way that made me feel better, but it made me feel bad at the same time; he’s been single for three years because of me… “You didn’t have to do that…you could’ve been with anybody; you didn’t have to stop dating.” I tried to look down but he lifted my chin again. “I didn’t want to date anyone.” I looked in his eyes, a mixture of pain and care fought in them; I hated the fact that I hurt him…but he hurt me too. I looked at his chest where my hands were; he lowered his head, his messy hair covered his expression. I wanted to wrap my arms around his neck like I used to, I wanted to kiss him with as much passion as I could offer…but I couldn’t. I didn’t know if we were back together, or if I could even handle being with him at this moment. After what happened with Benjamin and what happened with Alex and I in the past I don’t know if I’m ready…I love Alex so I don’t want to hurt him… Second thoughts pounded me like a brick wall. He looked up at me through his hair and smirked slightly. I smiled back confused “What?” I asked. He bent down a little and pressed his forehead against me; his warm breath tingled against my now cold skin. “I need you.” He whispered.

Alex

I’ve been waiting for this moment for what seemed like an eternity. Jayda was in my arms, her face not an inch from mine; she could be all mine in one word. “Jayda…” I whispered. “Come back to me; let’s start a new life together.” The urge to kiss her gained as she bit her bottom lip; all she has to do is say yes… A few seconds went by; I pulled my head back so I could look at her better. “Jayda?” I asked. She began to slowly shake her head; I felt my heart break into tiny pieces. “W…what…?” I asked; my voice slightly shaky. “I…can’t…” she looked down. “B...but…why not?” Sadness washed over me; how could she do this to me? “I…just can’t…” she didn’t sound sad. Anger started to fill me; I waited over three years for her and now, after all this, she doesn’t want me? I saved her life! Of course I couldn’t get mad at her; if I did I would be the monster. I clenched my fist and walked out of the bathroom towards the front door “Where are you going?” Jayda asked in a small voice. “Out.”I growled and slammed the door behind me.

Jayda

I stood in the same spot without moving for a few minutes; what have I done? I didn’t want to hurt Alex…but now he’s hurt… my mind started to fill with regret, with anger, sadness; every horrible emotion you can feel washed over me like a tsunami. I grabbed my head and screamed letting everything rush out of me; I slammed the bathroom door as hard as I could and sat against it. Tears fell as the anger faded; I made a horrible mistake, Alex loves me. He loved me…I finally broke him. After three years of heartbreak I broke him in a couple seconds; he probably hates me now… tears kept falling uncontrollably. Whoever is close to me gets hurt, this isn’t right. “Why me?!” I screamed “Why did you let this happen?!” I screamed again at the ceiling. “It’s not fair…” I rested my arms on my knees and buried my head on them. “I hate my life…” I whispered through the tears.