Reading Between The Lyrics

Reading Between The Lyrics - Chp 3 {A Silent Beating}

‘Just play me a sad song, and play it long. Your full of lies and excuses from afar, I don’t even know you but you can bring me down. You break me, you leave me tainted and scarred. You don’t do it with words, you don’t do it with hits; you don’t even do it with a look. You bring me down with your absence, you’re meant to be here but you’re not. You’re not here, no instead you’re breaking me down as you hide in your pitiful world of lies.’ – Riley May – A Silent Beating

Lying on my stomach on the lounge room floor’s carpet of home I flicked the page again already knowing what the next song would be but still turning it otherwise as my eyes traced the music notes before me “Okay, what about….My Heart Will Go On by Celine Dion?” I asked as the rest of my body was entranced trying to visualize myself actually singing that for this specific event.

“Nah,” dad said shaking his head with a scrunched up nose as he was splattered carelessly out on the lounge during an add break “It’s too long, sad and all it does is make people sleep.” He said, his voice showing truly how much he was in distain over the idea. “No wedding material.” He muttered as he took a swig of the cool beer in his hand.

I looked up with my mouth hanging agape and my eyes bugged out, amazed “It’s a great song! I cry nearly every time I hear it! It reminds me so much of Titanic….” I murmured softly trailing off when the images from the movie flashed before my eyes instantly making my eyes sting.

“Exactly!” he cried “It’s sad, hence not for wedding, I mean do you actually want the guest to burst into tears from grief?” he asked me with a pointed look “Now if you were asked to sing it at a divorce party or funeral than I wouldn’t complain.” He muttered humor in his voice.

I didn’t bother pointing out to him that it was a song about that no matter if living or dead the couple would always still be in love thus making it a juxtaposed song to play at some so called divorce party.

“Is there even such a thing?” I muttered under my breath as I continued flipping through the pages.

Dad didn’t say anything, but rather took his frustrations out on the remote control and flicked through the TV programs face. Even though he didn’t say it I knew he’d wish there was such things as divorce parties, although my dad tried to not say it much about me he wasn’t a strong believer in the walk off into the sunset and happily ever afters after what he’d gone. What he’d gone through him I’d honestly never know. But when it came to me and my beliefs he bit his tongue and tried to not discourage the hopeless romantic within me, but maybe that’s why I’d never dated expect for a couple dates here and there, maybe it was because I had witnessed firsthand with seeing my father every day what happens when that beautiful sunset turns to dreary skies of grey. Or maybe it was because deep down I knew bringing a guy home would result in the two most important males in my life (dad and Chad) chasing him out of the house with a shotgun. Either way dad didn’t discourage the romantic within me but I never actually acted on the hopeless romantic within me, something was holding the two of us back and I didn’t know what either of them were.

“It’s not fair! Most of my best songs are not wedding material! It’s just so hard to find a great wedding song that isn’t a stupid clichéd wedding song!” I shouted throwing my hands up in defeat and watching as my hands fell back down and with a slap hit the carpet before me.

“What about YMCA? You’d be a great sailor.” Dad pointed out with a rough chuckle.

I rolled my eyes “Coming from you Mr. Gay Police Man.” I snipped back causing him to narrow his gaze at me. “Besides dad, even the YMCA isn’t wedding material, I mean it’s about solely Young Men’s Christian Association, or you can follow the rumors and say that it’s a song describing that YMCA is a form of a rape dudgeon for the homosexuals. But my point is,” I said taking a deep breath “is that even a song you want at a wedding once you understand it’s meaning?” I asked pointedly.