Healing Haven - Book 2 in Haven Series [Complete]

23| A rose by any other name...

Whoever invented the insane, unnecessarily complicated process of procedural reports was a sadist and so help him God, Ethan was going to find the bastard responsible and string him up by his toenails. Glaring at the offending screen, his fingers stroked over keys as he filled in form after form after fucking form until he wanted to scream.

His sudden violent hatred of all things paper work had absolutely nothing to do with the fact that he hadn't been able to get his hands on Alyssa in three excruciating days. With Indira in town, Alyssa was spending all of her free time with her best friend leaving little time for him. Not that he minded. Blue balls aside, it was nice to see her so relaxed and at ease, all the pieces of her life clicking together to create something new from the shattered fragments of the old.

The time apart gave him much needed space to attend to his own cluttered thoughts since the re-opening event last week. And he certainly had a lot to think about after deciding to take the reins from Tom Creedy after the New Year. Something Ethan, not long ago, had sworn adamantly not to do. He hadn't wanted that degree of culpability, or accountability.

Not long term. Not indefinitely.

And after the events of last summer, Ethan had resented all the attention and fuss. Being a hero came with a massive amount of stress and worry. A big, looming shadow he'd been eager to scrabble out from under. But now, he found he'd like the weight of it on his shoulders.

He felt calmer about the idea. More centered. In control and capable. Being with Alyssa made him want for more. Push for more. She'd overcome so much and still saw the potential in life. It made him want to show her that he could be someone she could be proud of.

And where the hell was all this coming from?

Eyes glued onscreen to his drafted report, Ethan snagged his phone on the third ring. "Hello?"

"Hello, Ethan. Is this a bad time?"

It was, but he'd sooner swallow his own tongue than say as much to his mother. "No, I've got a few minutes. What's up?"

"Only calling to remind you that we're having that get together tonight and I don't want to hear at six-thirty how something's come up and you'll need to pass."

"Mom," he sighed but smiled. "I'll be there. I promise."

"Good. And to be sure of it, I need you to stop by the liquor store and pick up the wine. I'll text the list to your phone."

His smile broadened. Well played, mom. And reclined comfortably in his chair.

"Will your girlfriend be coming with you?" she asked, "or Eva?"

Ethan snapped straight. "Girlfriend?"

"Oh come now, Ethan. Alyssa. Is she coming with you tonight or Eva? I ask only so I know to time things appropriately."

Anxious, he swept a hand over his hair. "We're not...it's not... "Um, Eva. She's coming with Eva. They're hanging out together with Indira, Alyssa's friend up from Toronto, so it's—"

"Fine," his mother interrupted. "Alright, thanks honey. See you tonight." And hung up. For a long while Ethan stared at the phone receiver as if he'd never set eyes on one before. What the hell had just happened?

Girlfriend?

Ethan was never the sort of man comfortable with labels. As a kid, he'd never understood why everything had to be so...contained. So definite, black or white when the world was an explosion of colour and texture and sounds too vast to be contained within the limiting parameters of a single, square box.

But that's what Sheryl was demanding he do.

Wedge him and Alyssa into a box. Label it. And now that the thought was in his head, he couldn't shake it. He'd never really been much of a casual sort of guy when it came to the women in his life. He either went all the way in or not at all. Looking back, that probably hadn't always been the smartest approach, but that's how he was and some things were too deep in the bone to be changed. Though, he was changing.

Maybe you should before you get hurt. Those words had stayed with him over the course of the following days. Haunting his waking and sleeping moments. And though Sheryl had been a bit abrupt in her approach, Ethan had to concede that she might have a solid point. This wasn't some casual affair between consenting adults who would part ways and never see one another ever again. Family and an upcoming marriage in the spring connected them, bound them, and that meant for better or worse Alyssa would always be a part of his life. In it.

The thought of her leaving Haven, heading back to the city and moving on with her life. With another man, irked him. How would he feel, he wondered, when she returned for those casual visits? For holidays and birthdays—maybe a week or two in the summer, but this time with a husband in tow? Children?

Snarling, Ethan slapped the cabinet shut. Jesus, what the hell was happening to him? He was never what he'd call a jealous or possessive sort of guy, but since Alyssa things were happening to him he didn't know or understand how to process. It was all that 'Love of a good woman' from Tom and Carlos' needling coupled with Sheryl's warnings about getting hurt messing with his head.

But his heart knew better.

Groaning, he closed his eyes, pressed his brow to the smooth, cool wood and sighed. And this was precisely why he'd wanted to keep clear of her and his raging hormones. She'd wriggled under his skin and was there whether he liked it or not. No, that wasn't true. He wanted her there. Hell, he'd probably taken that first shaky step the second he saw her on the beach.

Was there such a thing as love at first sight? Damned if he knew, but looking back, the beauty of hindsight, Ethan couldn't see the transitions or the shifts, only the end result. He was in love with her, or at least well on his way. A truth that thrilled and terrified in equal measure.

Because she wasn't going to stay.

Because she couldn't be his. Not for long. Not for keeps. Not when the woman had her gaze stubbornly set on life in the city and far from his reach. She wanted to get back to the way things were in Toronto. With her corporate job and high-powered position. She was a woman of drive and ambition—both of which he admired greatly even if they ran counter to his own wants and needs. Haven was a thriving community, yes, but it would never stand up to the likes of an urban city sprawl, all that racing energy and go, go, go.

Ethan was a quiet, low-key sort who protected his privacy as a treasured, sacred thing. And he could see that for all her claims, he doubted Alyssa could see how light she was in the last month spent on Haven. She didn't have those shadows in her eyes, that weight of burden on her shoulders.

Haven was healing her. Body and spirit.

And he wondered if she went back to the city—to all of that, would she hold on to her newfound light, or lose it a second time? Sometimes a person needed a bit of coaxing and nudging before they could see what stood right in front of them. Wasn't the message behind Sheryl's little revelation? And Alyssa had more or less done the same by playing on his interest that night he'd come over to set her straight—leading him to think she was heading out on a date to spark his jealousy. It had worked for him, so Ethan figured he could apply the same logical approach with her.

There was beauty in a quieter pace of life. In the stillness and simplicity. And he was the man to give it to her.

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There's more going to come after this scene but I wanted to post what I have finished as it's been a few days since my last upload. So - enjoy and the rest will come soon. 

:D