Where Is My Mind (Larry/Ziam AU)

10.

Chapter 10.

 

It has been almost a week since Louis gave his number to Jamie. Since that conversation, the two have not spoken. This also means it has been just as long since they worked on their collaboration story. It's not that Louis isn’t trying - he has sent more than one message Jamie’s way, but there has been no reply.

Contrary to this, Louis has been talking to Dave on a daily basis, though his friend in still slightly reserved there has been a dramatic improvement in the way that they speak to each other. Louis feels like Dave always knows exactly how he is feeling. Even if they have never been in the same situation, he always seems to know exactly what to say to reassure Louis, or to make Louis feel like there is someone else out there who feels how he does.

Even with the strengthening bond between the two boys, Louis feels like there is something missing when he isn’t talking to Jamie. With Dave, conversations make him feel like they could go months without talking, but it would change nothing. They relate to each other, and though he would miss Dave, he has a faith that their friendship is true and Dave would still be there after the long silence. With Jamie, their friendship is playful and teasing. He loves to talk to Jamie, but there is no security between them, each time silence stretches, Louis is afraid that it won’t end.

As days drag by, Louis drags his feet. Zayn tries to ask him what is wrong, but Louis always brushes it off. Even Josh and Liam attempt to get some answers out of their moping friend, but he is just as unresponsive.

“You think it’s something serious, don’t you?” Liam asks Zayn quietly.

Zayn is sitting by his boyfriend, staring over at Louis who is frowning at his computer and tapping away quickly on the keyboard. He nods slightly. Louis just hasn’t been himself lately and it’s starting to really worry Zayn.

Louis props his elbow up on his desk and places his chin in his hands. Today, Dave is not replying either, and Louis is really starting to think he upset Jamie in some way. He can feel Zayn’s gaze burning holes in the back of his head, but he knows if he turns around he will be bombarded with questions. So he continues to type and backspace his current assignment. He knows he can do better than what he is transferring from his head the the screen in front of his eyes, but he just can’t keep his head straight. His thoughts continue to stray back to his faceless friends who it turns out may not even be his friends at all.

With a frustrated groan, Louis slams his laptop shut, not at all caring that he may have just damaged it. He can’t concentrate and he is too tired to bother trying any longer. He whips around to catch Zayn and Liam staring. “What?”

“You ‘right, mate?” Zayn asks.

Louis just rolls his eyes, he knew what he was going to be asked. His response is sour, even though Zayn has done nothing to deserve the tone as of late. “Peachy.”

Louis suddenly feels claustrophobic in his shared room. Snatching up his jacket and patting his pockets, to make sure he has his keys, phone and wallet incase they become necessary, he nods to Liam and Zayn before leaving the room. On his way out of the building, Louis passes Josh and forces a smile so that he is not stopped to be shown concern again, and continues on his way.

Why is it that just as everything starts to look up, Louis has the rug torn from beneath his feet? He is finally beginning to understand all the thought that went into character development and story plots so he is getting a grip on Literature. Zayn and he have made up after their little feud. He hasn’t been fighting with Josh as often. Best of all, Louis has found a friend that makes him smile more than he knew he could. With all the bad that seemed to be looming over him, Jamie had been a god-send. He had reminded Louis of all the good, like a glimpse of sunshine that reminded Louis things got better. Then, out of nowhere, that all disappeared. The worst part is, Louis doesn’t know why. He is left wondering and circling around in his own thoughts, and that sucks.