50 Things America has Learned (pt.1)

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1. If you put your fingers in Gilbird's mouth, he will bite you.

2. Never pull a nations curl.

3. Avoid England's basement.

4. Never under any circumstances reference an episode of South Park during a world meeting.

5. If you want to get out of anything, blame it on Canada.

6. If you want to screw with England, get him drunk.

7. Don't poke Germany, Austria, Hungary, China, Turkey, Egypt, Russia, or Belarus no matter how bad their face seems to itch.

8. Never yell "FTW!" In a world meeting.

9. If you do something wrong you have a 50% chance of getting beaten, 30% chance of getting shot at, 15% of getting shanked, and 5% of getting food poisoned. Of course, 100% of the time you will get hurt.

10. Do not touch any of Switzerland's 'restricted areas.'

11. Don't piss off Switzerland.

12. Don't touch Russia.

13. Don't screw with Belarus, and everything will be fine.

14. If you want to tie the Italy brother's curls together, then do it dressed as Roman Empire.

15. Always be last to make a smart comment. After everyone else already has, Germany probably ran out of bullets.

16. When France walks by, hide your ass.

17. It really would be Hell if all the police were Germany, all the chefs were England, and all the bankers were Italy. Roman Empire was wise.

18. If you scream "let's make love, not war!" at France, he will do exactly that.

19. The Axis powers don't know what their doing.

20. The Allies are just as ignorant as the Axis are, here.

21. No matter how much it feels like it, and no matter how much you (America) make it seem like, China is not a Pokemon.

22. Gilbird is not a lemon, so don't use him to make lemonade.

23. Do not bring mud inside of the World Meeting Place. No matter how good of an idea a mud slide seems momentarily.

24. Swearing Aliens are real. Ask anyone.

25. Don't question England about Flying Mint Bunny. We all know he's a bit 'off.'

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