My World and Hers (a Sam Winchester love story)

Chapter 16: Truth or Dare

<Kristy's POV>

Once Keira is gone, Balthazar and I are left alone together.

"So you want to talk about Cas?" I say, sitting on the couch.

I would have been fine staying in those two traps, except he didn't put a chair in there for me to sit on. Not cool.

"I want to help," he confesses.

Then he looks as if he can't believe he just up and said it. I kick my boots off and cross my legs on the couch.

"Okay," I say, "I believe you."

Poor Balthazar just can't find his stride today. He can't figure me out. Which is okay, because I don't like being predictable, but the poor guy can't even figure out why he called me here.

"Why?" he asks finally, "why do you believe me after everything I've done."

I shrug.

"You're not an overall bad guy," I answer, "you saved Cas's life, after all. You've stolen God's weapons, that makes the playing field a little more even in the civil war. Not to mention, you didn't smite my brothers or Keira when they trapped you in Holy Fire."

"And you think that makes me a good person?" he scoffs.

"Hey, woah there. I never said that."

There's silence between us for several long seconds before he speaks.

"I want to help him, but I need you to get me in there so that him and his lemmings won't smite me on the spot."

I shrug again.

"Sure, why not? I can do that. But one thing."

He waits for me to state my condition with a cool expression on his face.

"You can't tell anyone what I am. That is an epic secret. Need to know only. As in: no one needs to know."

He nods.

"Fair enough."

I bounce to my feet. He puts a hand out, as if to shake hands, but I hug him. I generally don't hug people because that could potentially be really awkward, but I like Balthazar. He's a smartass.

"Alright, let's get going," I say, pulling away from him.

"Uh, not right now, actually," he says putting his hands up, "I still have some work to do before I enlist in the Castiel Army."

I nod, tilting my head slightly to listen better. Angels, other angels, have been trying to keep an eye on me lately.

"Bal, you should probably stay low while you're 'working'. Raphael's soldiers are still after you."

With that I disappear. Let's hope this was a good decision.

<Sam's POV>

"Keira...we need to talk," I say.

We're at Bobby's house for a couple days-nothing drawn out. Dean is out on a supply run with Bobby and they won't be back for a while so I decide it's a good time to talk to Keira.

"Okay...what is it?" she asks warily.

"I...I've done some things...I'm not proud of it."

We sit down at the table and I tell her everything. I tell her about my demon powers, Ruby, the Apocolypse, Lucifer. I even tell her about Jessica and the other women I've tried to make a relationship with. She doesn't interrupt at all and she's very attentive, leaning forward and nodding at certain points.

"The worst part is..."

It takes me a second to find my voice again.

"There's all this guilt. It's crushing me. I'm drowning in it. There's guilt about the Apocolypse and having Lucifer in my body. The things he made me do..."

I look down at the table top, pressing my hands against the surface. I'm fighting back tears, trying to tell her all of this. She deserves to know that everyone that tries to get close to Dean and I die.

"And then Kristy died fixing my mistake. She sacrificied herself so that I wouldn't have to. It was my fault. I should have been the one punished for it. We were so lucky that she came back. But...what if she hadn't. What if the next time it's you, and you don't come back. You're only human. People get killed loving us," I finish.

There's silence for several moments. I look up at her. I expect to see hate, disgust, and/or anger in her gaze. But her velvety green eyes are soft and filled with love and understanding. There's no judgement in her expression at all and I don't understand why.

"Say something," I plead.

She leans over and takes one of my hands in her left and then she gently touches my face with her other.

"You made mistakes," she says, "it happens. No one is perfect and it's not as if you can change it. Everything turned out alright in the end. Everything happens for a reason-no matter who's making it happen."

She blinks a couple times and I realize she's holding back tears as well.

"And I chose this life Sam. I want to be a hunter. I face the threat of dying every day. It's going to happen eventually," she tells me.

I pull her onto my lap and hug her tightly, unable to hold the tears back any longer. I think I've officially fallen in love with Keira.