Primal Impulse (COMPLETED!)

30. Cake and All

I had texted Dan to let her know we would be there early, and where in the park we were.  Stacy remained hesitant towards me, but had been acting completely normal to Kyle.  They had formed a very strong friendship and I could see in her eyes how much she loved him, all through the rear view mirror.

Stacy helped Kyle set up the blanket, and then the food and plates.  They weren't finished yet when Dan showed up.

"Mom! Turn around you can't see until we're done."  Kyle pushed Dan around, giving us her back.  "Close your eyes and cover them with your hands too."  He took big cautious steps backwards away from her, then sprang into action, setting up plates and tubs of food.  Once he was done he stood back and nodded his head yes, then changed it to no and fixed a crease in the blanket.  He held his hands out, like a frame for his eyes and then jumped up and down a few times before running back to Dan.

"Okay okay okay, turn around and don't open until I say.  No peeking!"  Kyle stepped back and pulled me and Stacy to sit on a corner each and then sat down on his.  He mouthed one, two, three at us, then he yelled, "Surprise!"

Dan flung her arms out in fake surprise.  "Oh my goodness.  Look at all the special foods just for me.  It must be my birthday or something."

Kyle giggled and rolled on the grass laughing.

We spent a good portion of the time listening to Kyle tell us about schooling and his new friends there.  But he can't remember their names.  He said there was a girl there with really pretty black curly hair and that she sat next to him every day. 

"Guess what cake I made Mom?  Guess."

Dan put her finger to her chin and looked up to the dark sky with her tongue out on the side.  "Mmmm strawberry."

"Aww how did you know?  It's cause it's your favorite uh?"

"No my favorite is butter cream, your favorite is strawberry."

"I had to tell him the same thing when he decided to make it." Stacy chimed in.  She was getting along well with Dan, but still let Dan spend quality time with Kyle.  We finished eating cake and Kyle was ready to go play with his mom.  He was pulling her up by the hand.  "Cmon mom, let's go play.  I've never been here before and there's this ginormous slide I saw.  Cmon mom get up.  Hurry."

As cute as it was, it left me in an awkward position with Stacy.  She watched the two play for a moment, then started to clean up the mess.  "Why don't you go play with Kyle and Dan.  I'll stay and clean this all up."

I didn't acknowledge her, only stood and walked over to a picnic table close by.  I found myself watching her pack things back into the suv instead of watching Kyle and Dan.  I missed her.  I craved her.  I couldn't get over her.  I wrecked my life this last week without her, because I was scared of broaching the subject that terrified me.  I knew she was scared of the conversation too, scared of hearing the words out loud and confirming the events had happened.

I got up from the table and walked behind her, packing things into the trunk.  "Stacy."  Before I could get out more, she jumped and spun around, clasping a hand to her chest.

"Stacy," I said more softly.  "I want to apologize about what happened.  I am deeply sorry about how I approached you, and the situation."

"I know you are, I know you didn't mean to do what you did, or how you did it.  And," she sighed and looked down, hanging her head a little more.  "I know there's something else that is making you avoid me.  Something else that happened that day.  We don't have to talk about it right now, but if we could go back to how we..."

"Stacy, Master Stoic, come play tag with us."

"Oh I don't think that's a good idea, I run too fast."  I was quick to respond, I don't think I could just go back to how it was and didn't want to get into why.

"Well then you can just hop instead of run.  I bet you can't jump fast."  Before I could agree, Kyle had almost shoved me and ran away, "Tag!  You're it!"

We played tag for a little while, then just ran around like children.  I could tell Kyle was starting to get tired, We had played for over an hour.

"Time to go Kyle!"

He ran up the slide and slid down the tube one last time.  He ran up to us and took mine and Dan's hand.  "Carry me, carry me!"  We both lifted our arms and swung him back and forth.

"I can't wait to show you the kitchen mom, and I got new clothes too."

I set Kyle down as we got to the car.  "Actually, I thought that maybe you could spend the night with your mom tonight.  If you want."

Dan nearly knocked me down, hugging me profusely.  I whispered in her ear.  "Happy birthday Dan."

She let me go and scooped Kyle up, swinging him around.  "What do you say kiddo?  You want to go home with Momma tonight?"

"Can Stacy come too?"

"No honey, I have other things I have to do, like make your bed and laundry."  Stacy faked remorse.

"Awww."

"Diamond and Coot are there.  Won't they be surprised when I show up with you?  We can surprise them like you did me today."  Dan tried to ease his disappointment.

"You can take the left overs home, cake and all."  Dan nodded to me and buckled Kyle in while Stacy got the food and transferred it to the front seat of Dan's car.

We watched them drive away, but I hadn't started the car.  Stacy sat in the front seat with me and I stared out the front window.  I wanted this conversation over with now that we were alone.  Completely as much as she would allow.

"I want things to go back to normal too Stace.  I miss teasing you.  I miss that blush creep over your face and down your neck.  I miss trying to predict what color it will be.  But I don't think you will let me be around you anymore.  I don't think you trust me.  I don't think I would trust me, after what you have been through."

"I, I know it wasn't you.  It wasn't really you.  You can be so, sweet."

I shook my head and looked at her.  "You don't know what I am Stace.  That mean piece of shit that drank from you.  That's the new me.  That's the me that will be coming around more often.  I'll hurt you.  I'll drink from you.  I'll take from you more than I already have.  I don't want to hurt you Stace, but I will.  The only thing I can promise is that it won't be as bad as some of the things Ruth has done."

"If, if I let you do things to me, will it help you?  If I let you drink from me, let you kiss me, will you be nicer?"

"I can't Stacy.  I can't promise you I will.  I can tell you, that I want to kiss you.  I want to make you feel amazing when you're with me.  But I don't know how long my good mood will last.  I don't know how I'm even managing it right now."  I started the car and we drove home in silence.  I hadn't gotten out of her at all what I wanted.  She hadn't acknowledge anything, hadn't confirmed anything to me.  She still trusted me and she shouldn't.  She shouldn't trust another vampire ever after, after that.

I've had a really shitty week, and I'm so glad it's over.  This chapter is kinda eh.

Any predictions?  I know I'm keeping you on the edge of the truth.....

I really love every comment I get, and I just want to say thank you to everyone that has done so.  Every vote and view means so much, because sometimes I too get wrapped up so much in a story I don't have time to comment.

I hate author notes, I rarely ready others, that's why I keep mine short to non existent.