Abhorrence

24

I was surprised Jan and mum were still here by the time I came out, wrapping my robe a bit tighter I sat on the couch as they watched me. 

"What happened?"

"Nothing." I muttered as I gave Jan a pointed look that I would tell her later, the last thing I needed was Mum to freak out. 

"Didn't look like nothing," my mum said raising her eyebrows at me.

"Mum is there a reason you're here. Not that I don't love your company but I have exams I need to mark."

"Right, of course, well I'm having a small party on Sunday, and want you to come."

"I can't I'm busy with exam-," I paused seeing her face, "Fine."

They both looked at my surprised, "I'll come for a bit," because I knew how persistent my mum was and she would try everything to get me to come. So I might as well agree and she would leave.

"Really"

"Yeah sure," a small party couldn't hurt, besides it would be a nice break from work. I needed to get out, it felt like forever since I heard music or saw someone other than my students. It would be nice to see dad again. 

"Well I'm so glad to hear that, I better get back your dad would be waiting for me. And can you please eat something you look dreadful. Also formal wear, Jan you should come too."

"Will do." I nodded as I stared at the TV that was running on mute. Mum bent down kissing my cheek before Jan let her out and I sighed sinking into the soft couch hoping that I could fall asleep.

* * * 

"Hey Charlie, it's your turn."

I blinked looking away from the TV ad and looked down at the game board, "Oh right," picking up the dice I gave it a half hearted roll and moved my piece. "Chance card." I said holding my hand out, great I better win some money.

Every single chance card has been me paying Jan and Chris money the whole time.

I grumbled as I stared at it, "What, do I get more money?"

"You wish, I'm in jail." I frowned placing my car piece into the spot, great. I hate monopoly. "I don't feel like playing anymore." I sighed leaning back against the couch. 

"You don't feel like doing anything lately." Jan muttered.

"I just want to be alone, don't you guys have your own apartments to hang out at?"

They both looked up at that, and then each other and I felt bad for saying it,  but it was so annoying have them up in my face all the time. 

"You're being such bitch lately!"

"Jan." Chris muttered giving her a pointed look.

"No don't Jan me and defend her like you always do." Jan stood up, "You have such a big problem Charlotte and I hope you can see that." She threw the dice onto the game board, letting it bounce off before she walked, no, stormed our slamming the door.

I sighed reaching for my water glass as Chris gave me a pitiful look, i hate pity, and walked out after her. 

Great. Even though I wanted to be alone, now I felt terrible.

* * * 

If i heard the word miss one more time I was about to chuck my whiteboard marker at them, or so I thought. I couldn't do that, I was their teacher. That was called abuse, I would lose my career and then not be able to afford food. I loved pizza too much to not eat it again.

"Yes?" I asked looking up as another student came to my desk, "Can you show me how to do this again? I'm confused." I looked at the equation and sighed. Did he have to pick the hardest one? That meant I had to think now.

Thankfully most of the other children knew exactly what they were doing which meant I could stare at my laptop screen in my own thought. With exams coming up it was a lot less teaching and more making them do practise ones and being here to help them if they had a question.

Which sort of sucked since my mind wandered in areas I didn't want it to wander in.

I knew that in twenty odd hours I would have to go to mums party. Apart from sending me the occasional text to tell me to go pick up a dress she has been quiet all week. Chris and Jan, well, they were also quiet and I wouldn't blame them.

Maybe I should have a dinner tonight and call them over to apologise, but the other part of me, the prideful part didn't want to apologise. Why should I? 

She told me I had a problem, I frowned glaring at my laptop screen, I didn't have a problem. Fuck that, who needs people.

I leaned back staring at everyone scribbling down things, they had ten minutes left. 

I didn't need people.

I could live happily without the aid of someone else. It irked me, it really did. That when you wanted to talk to people no one was there, if you stopped messaging someone they would never reply. If you did something they were the first to find the fault in what you did.

It was all because of that stupid boy and his stupid plan.

"Idiot."

"Uh Miss?"

"Huh?" I looked up staring at Matt "Sorry Matt not you." Nice one Charlotte.

"Miss Fort can you show me how to do-,"

* * * 

There were some things people never told you when you choose a profession, the downside of it sometimes. I liked being a teacher, but I also didn't like coming home at eight at night when school finished at 3 and you had to stay back marking things or seeing students that wanted extra help.

At least they were taking care of their education.

My door finally unlocked after a solid three minutes of trying to fit the key into the hole and I looked down the corridor at the closed door.

Should I say something to them?

No.

God damn it Charlotte your pride was going to kill you. I closed the door knowing that at least I had the weekend to myself, well, a few hours seeing that I had to go to my mums house.

I groaned grabbing the take away box realising I had probably ordered too much and there was no one here to help me finish it. I grabbed a fork sitting on the kitchen floor kicking my heels off, the pasta was now lukewarm as I opened it.

At least cheesy pasta would make me feel better.

I sighed, I should tell them to come help me finish this. The quietness in my apartment was deafening, the silence was deafening, the irony was strong with that phrase. 

I poke the piece of penne bringing it up to my lips, not even wanting to eat it. Better get used to living alone. I can get used to this.