Seth's POV
He was my son. I had absolutely no doubt in my mind and heart that Pio was my son. I had felt it even before I knew it. He was the blood of my blood and the flesh of my flesh.
I watched Pio as he slept peacefully in the incubator. He had Marian's creamy complexion and her cheeks but everything else was me... his eyes, the color of them, the shape of his nose, and his lips. His features were more distinct and defined now as he grew. Nakikita ko ang sarili ko sa kanya.
It was a week ago since the day Marian told me that he was my son. Wala akong pag-aalinlangan doon pero hanggang ngayon hindi pa din ako makapaniwala. I had taken care of her for almost the whole duration of her pregnancy thinking she was carrying another man's child. And then she suddenly told me I was the father?
Kahit mahirap paniwalaan ang paraan kung paano siya nabuo, naniniwala akong anak ko ang batang ito. I had loved this little guy before he was even born, before I had even seen him, before I had even heard his first cry, or knew he was mine.
It felt like a bomb had gone off when she told me he was my son. I was initially shocked and then I felt angry. Nandoon ako sa tabi niya habang nagbubuntis siya, inalagaan ko siya. How could she not tell me? Why did she have to wait this long to tell me? She had all the time in the world. Not only had she made a fool out of me, I felt like I had been robbed of being a father. I thought of the times I was worried about Pio's biological father coming back into their lives and claiming the baby as his when really their was nothing I should be worried about.
My anger had subsided and now, I just didn't know what to feel. I hadn't seen Marian since then. I wasn't ready to face her yet. Nandito lang ako madalas sa intensive care at binabantayan si Pio. I didn't want to leave his side. Dito na ako natutulog dahil ayaw ko naman maiwan siya mag-isa dito. I only leave when Marian visits him.
My parents were so in love with him. My mom bought him a cute onesie that he was wearing right now, some pillows and blankets to keep him comfortable and a cute baby bonnet with his name on it.
I still couldn't believe something this beautiful could exist in this world. And he came from me.
Marian's POV
"Hindi ba nagpunta si Seth dito?" Tanong ko kina Betsy nang magising ako. Isang linggo na akong nasa ospital at hindi ko pa siya nakikita o nakakausap mula ng aminin ko sa kanya ang totoo. I couldn't forget the look on his face when I told her that he was Pio's father.
Hindi ko alam kung ano ang tumatakbo sa isip niya nang mga panahon na iyon pero base sa reaksyon niya hindi iyon maganda. When I tried to touch him, he jerked away from me. Lumayo siya sa akin na para bang may nakakahwa akong sakit at umalis na siya. Mula nang araw na iyon hindi ko na nakita ni anino niya.
Nagpalit-palit ng tingin ang tatlo. Then they all looked at me with pity bago umiling si Rose. I had to close my eyes to keep the tears from spilling from my eyes. Kahit na nandito ang mga kaibigan ko, kahit na maraming bumibisita sa akin dito sa ospital, I had never felt more alone than now.
Wala si Seth sa tabi ko at wala din ang anak ko. Pio's doing better now. He didn't need any help at all with breathing. Tinanggal na ang ibang mga machine na nakadikit sa kanya pero kailangan pa rin niyang manatili sa incubator. Sabi ng doktor masiguro lang nilang maayos ang lagay niya at pag lumabas na ang mga resulta sa test na ginawa sa kanya, pwede na siyang ilabas sa NICU.
Araw-araw ko siyang binibisita doon pero hindi pa din ako mapanatag hangga't wala siya dito sa tabi ko. This wasn't how it's supposed to be. My son shouldn't be there, he should be here with me. I should be holding him in my arms.
"He hates me." Mahinang sabi ko.
"Ano ka ba? He doesn't hate you. Nabigla lang siya." Sabi ni Rose. Alam na nila ang totoo, na si Seth ang ama ni Pio. I couldn't deny it even if I wanted to. Hindi maipapagkailang anak ni Seth si Pio. He looked exactly like his father.
But I never told them how he was conceived. Ang sinabi ko lang, galit sa akin si Seth dahil nagsinungaling akong anak niya si Pio.
"Kamusta na ang pakiramdam mo?" Tanong ni Andrea.
I swallowe the lump in my throat and answered. "Okay lang ako."
I had weaned myself off of painkillers. Hindi na kumikirot ang tahi ko katulad noong mga naunang araw. Nakakatayo na din ako at nakakalakad. My doctor said it was a good sign. Pwede na nga daw akong lumabas ng ospital pero ayaw ko pa, hindi ako aalis dito ng hindi ko kasama ang anak ko.
"Dinaanan namin ang baby mo." Rose said with an enthusiastic smile, trying to lighted up my mood. "Lalong gumagwapo. Ang taba taba niya na."
"Gusto ko siyang puntahan." I said.
Ang tawag sila ng nurse para dalhin ako sa anak ko. I still had to be on wheelchair even though I could already walk and move around.
The nurse wheeled me into the room next to Pio's incubator. Kahit anong bigat ng nararamdaman ko, gumagaan kapag nakikita ko siya. He was so beautiful, sleeping peacefully like an angel.
Ipinasok ko ang mga kamay ko sa incubator at hinaplos ko ang malambot na balat niya. He was bigger now. Wala ng mga monitor na nakadikit sa kanya. He was dressed in a cute blue onesie and there were soft pillows surrounding him.
Gumalaw siya ng hawakan ko ang maliit na kamay niya. He curled hid tiny fingers around mine and tried to bring it to his mouth. I chuckled a little. He must be hungry.
"Feeding time na niya po." Sabi ng nurse na nagbabantay sa kanya. "Kung gusto niyo po, pwede natin siyang ilabas para ma breastfeed."
I had never breastfed him before. I excitedly said yes. She took Pio out of the incubator and gently carried him to me. He felt so good in my arms, like a puzzle piece clickin into its place. He was so warm and soft and tiny. Gusto kong maiyak habang kalong-kalong ko siya. It was the first time I had ever held him.
Pio opened his eyes and started to fuss as he squirmed in my arms. His eyes were beautiful just like his father's. I had always loved Seth's olive eyes.
"You must be really hungry, huh?" I sniffed back my tears. I pulled my hospital gown down to breastfeed him. I held him closer to me and he only calmed down when his mouth latched onto my breast.
I looked down at him as he instinctively suckled. In that moment, I truly felt like a mother, cradling this tiny life to my chest. Tuluyan ng nag-sink in sa akin na isa na akong ina. I had brought this beautiful baby into the world.
I just wish Seth was here with us.
Seth's POV
I silently watched through the window as she held our son in her arms. The sight of her breastfeeding the baby was so beautiful and natural. Motherhood suited her well. There she was, sitting there and breastfeeding our son, and I was unsure to how I should react.
They looked beautiful and serene. If I had a camera right now, I would take a picture of them. This was one of those memories you would never want to forget. The kind of memory you'd want to keep forever.
They were lost in their own world and I wanted to be a part of it. It was like I was looking up at heaven. I wanted to reach them but they felt so far away. Parang ang layo nilang dalawa kahit salamin lang ang pumapagitan sa amin. Gusto kong lumapit sa kanila. I wanted to be there with them. I wanted to be a part of the picture. A part of the family.
