Perspective (MJ)

Her Vow

-The chapter that I recently posted has been deleted as I didn't really approve of it, nor like it, and it also didn't fit in with the story (for me) at the time. ❤

Her Vow

Slowly, the very fine tips of my fingers take apart the dark, glistening buttons from the silk cloth that tightly wrap around his chest and abdomen. Once the outline of my skin makes contact with a now blatant discoloration on his chest, he immediately tenses and takes his intent gaze away from mine, angrily inhaling. An exhale travels out of my mouth when I hear the laughter and loud conversation occurring downstairs, unaware that we still haven't made an entrance to his family and ours, who seem to be rejoicing happily.

But he's not happy.

"I hate being myself," he whispers, averting his gaze from his exposed body as he is now self-conscious. I have to admit, these few days have been an emotional rollercoaster for me but I can't really explain why. It's as if he's isolating himself from everyone, including me, only deciding to restore himself from sadness occasionally.

And he never wants to talk about it.

"Why?" I question, thankful that I'm finally getting through to him after so many attempts. His fingers hesitantly grasp onto mine and he stiffens for a moment before securing the grip.

"All the time, I wake up believing that I'm not right in the head or just simply unloved and a person that no-one should care about. And it's more of the fact that as each day passes, I realise that I'm growing-no longer a child," he breaths, the strength of his veins showcasing on his warm skin.

"You know I've already told you that I will remind you every single day about your beauty. I won't ever stop. Your existence alone means the world to me and it's so heartbreaking to view yourself as a person whose worthless-and you're definitely far from that," I tell him, holding onto his fingers when I fear that he's loosening them-which he unfortunately is.

"I wasn't that happy as a child should be-you already have knowledge of that. Always thinking that there was more to life, more to the environment that surrounded us. But I continued to doubt my thoughts and myself, strongly degrading myself as time went by. I still do...but...I don't know. I just know that whatever I've done, all that I've become is all thought negatively of," he decides to take a quick glance at my eyes, that sparkle in admiration of how heavenly he is and the perfect formation of his words.

I can't allow him to focus on all that he has done.

"You've got to have some positivity in yourself-I know you do. It's just that you aren't allowing yourself to embrace it. I'm telling you that you should. You're still in a contemplation of acceptance-so what? Each moment, confidence grows within you. I can feel it," I sigh, kissing the sharp, masculine edge of his jawline.

"When I thought things couldn't get worse than my melancholic thoughts, I'm bombarded with conditions and pain. It's too much to handle. You know how I deal with this. I end up hurting myself or attempting to shut you out but it never works because you're always there for me. How is harming myself emotionally or any other way have to do with confidence? Apart from the fact I'm destroying it," he takes a seat on his comfortable bed, gently bringing me down with him.

"That's the thing. You think you are. But you're not. You fight against all the pain and successfully, you manage to get through it. The conditions you have, you're doing as the doctor instructed. Inability to sleep-you're getting through it and it makes me happy. All of this, you don't see and you tell me you're destroying it? Michael, I see you gaining it," I wrap my hands around his waist, chin brushing past his shoulder and eyes looking up towards him. His head is hung down though moments later, he runs a finger across his bottom lip and a smile follows after.

"If you continue to put yourself down, eventually what's going to happen to the people who love you? You'll find yourself drifting further away from them, bonds slowly breaking. And I know that won't happen between you and me, because no matter how further you push me away, I'll always keep on coming back-like the annoying person I am," I laugh, poking his sides. A childish giggle escapes out of his mouth, biting down on his lip as he deeply thinks.

"You're not annoying," he lays a kiss on the side of my face.

I squint my eyes, observing his stifling of upcoming giggles. I push him, causing him to fall off the bed and onto the floor with a loud thump. Playfully smacking all of the hard work off my hands, I huff and turn myself away from him.

Moments later, I unexpectedly hear a loud growl and come face to face with one of his largest pillows which send me flying to the ground. Groaning to myself, I raise my head and scowl. I should've known this silence was a quiet planning of revenge.

"Now that's for pushing me," Michael giggles, helping me up to my feet. He tightly wraps his arms around me and rests my body against his. Rolling my eyes, I flick my fingers against his face, not wanting to admit that he always has the victory of winning games. We both laugh and as moments past, a tranquil silence dawns in the room. He smiles into the side of my neck, humming ever so quietly and beautifully, intertwining his fingers through mine.

Crossing my legs, I give my focus outside of the window which showcases a dark, aquamarine sky, embellished with glittery stars and swift streaks of vivid colours. My heart flutters when my mind briefly thinks of what occurred with a beautiful scenery like the one I am observing right at this moment.

"What are you thinking of?" he questions, raising my head upwards, his irises glistening in the crystal moonlight. Absent mindedly, I find myself biting my lip as I coyly and secretly take glances at part of his revealing chest and the shape of his build, leaving with me intense nostalgia lighting inside of me and a blush filling in my cheeks. I sometimes wonder how a human being can have this much of a beautiful effect on me. It's something I'll treasure and keep to my heart all of the time and always will.

"You," I say softly, fingers stroking the smooth skin of his cheek. I close my eyes, feeling his warm, physical sensation hit gently against my open skin. Swiftly, his hands caress my face and all of this contact has made me patient so I find myself taking control when I place my hand on his neck, the other pushing the shirt away from his burning skin of beauty that I don't want him to remain self-conscious of anymore. I vow to myself that this night, every part of his body will be loved upon dearly and truthfully;blissfully. He kisses my mouth tenderly, hugging me to his chest, breaths coming to a halt when my hands bring out his shirt from his jeans. He pauses the moment, chest rising heavily as he basks in our bodies that are now pressed tightly together.

"I love you," he whispers, lips on the verge of touching mine once again. I breathlessly repeat the same words to him, the sight of his bare upper body causing an emotion of desiring love to run through me and leaving me intensely intoxicated. He breathes in the electrifying air, his hands settling under the cloth that hangs loosely on my frame. He lays a trail of sweet kisses from the nape of my neck towards the curve of my shoulder. Murmuring endearments against my kissed mouth, he takes a hold of me and slowly lays me down, ready for a moment of magic to be created through the depth of discovering love.

"You're everything I need. As long as I'm with you, nothing will get me down."