Saving Ada

Epilogue

Taylor's pov

Tears streamed down my face. The dam had collapsed and as the tears raced down my cheeks. Blood shot eyes. 216 months. 18 years. Short life span. Me and Karlie helped her, she convinced us she was getting better she convinced us so well that we believed it but like the word beLIEve I guess it was a lie. She didn't get better, she just got better at hiding it. I guess that's what society does to people. They build you up and in a second they tear you down. They tore her down so much she just got buried under everyone's opinion. That's the thing everyone has an opinion on you. People you know. People you don't know. They have an opinion and those opinions you shouldn't believe because the people that don't matter to you there opinion shouldn't matter either

I still remember it vividly. Her light brown hair, stuck across her face. Her once warm tanned skin, pale and icy cold. Her eyes still staring at the wall. The only movement was her body. As it slowly swung forwards and back with the wind coming from the open window. The rope tied tightly round her neck. The chair tipped onto the floor. She was gone. She wasn't coming back. No warning. No goodbye. No saving.

2 years later I stand in front of a crowd of thousands.

"Okay so this next song I'm gonna sing is very personal to me and very personal to me family.  About 2 years ago my sister passed away." I pause as I strum the guitar "she was 18 when she committed suicide. There are many different story's on why she did it but truth is none of them are true. When my sister did this, at first I thought she was selfish I thought she didn't care about me. But as time passed I realized boy did she care about me. She cared about so much that she didn't tell me how she was feeling because she didn't want to hurt me. Even in her times of need everyone else came before herself. I guess as time went by I realized this you know she didn't kill herself because she was selfish. She was tired. Tired of people opinions. Tired of lies. Tired of pain. She just wanted to be clean. Clean from the past. Clean from rumors. Clean from lies. So when I wrote this song I thought about how she must've been feeling and so I wrote this from her perspective, and I never really sing this song but on this day November 22nd it's been exactly to years so I thought I would sing this in memory of her.

The drought was the very worst
When the flowers that we'd grown together died of thirst
It was months, and months of back and forth
You're still all over me like a wine-stained dress I can't wear anymore

Hung my head as I lost the war, and the sky turned black like a perfect storm

Rain came pouring down when I was drowning
That's when I could finally breathe
And by morning gone was any trace of you,
I think I am finally clean

There was nothing left to do
When the butterflies turned to dust that covered my whole room
So I punched a hole in the roof
Let the flood carry away all my pictures of you

The water filled my lungs, I screamed so loud but no one heard a thing

Rain came pouring down when I was drowning
That's when I could finally breathe
And by morning, gone was any trace of you,
I think I am finally clean
I think I am finally clean
Said I think I am finally clean

10 months sober, I must admit
Just because you're clean don't mean you don't miss it
10 months older, I won't give in
Now that I'm clean I'm never gonna risk it

The drought was the very worst
When the flowers that we'd grown together died of thirst

Rain came pouring down when I was drowning
That's when I could finally breathe
And by morning gone was any trace of you,
I think I am finally clean

Rain came pouring down when I was drowning
That's when I could finally breathe
And by morning gone was any trace of you
I think I am finally clean
Finally clean
Think I'm finally clean
Think I'm finally clean

There was no loft 89 tonight and as soon as the show was over I was a mess in karlies arms.

"It's okay Tay its okay" she soothed as I was guided to my dressing room.

I wiped my eyes as I received sympathetic looks from members of the crew

Once in the safety of the dressing room I let myself drop into the couch and cry into the cushion, my legs stretched out to the end.

I felt karlies warm hand on my back rubbing circles, I turned my head and saw her sat on the floor next to me.

"I love you" I whispered my voice raspy

"I love you more" she smiled and pecked my lips