WWA // 5sos

chapter 23.

POV Emelia

A few months ago the boys invited me to go on world tour with them. I said yes. We leave in 3 months.

Today is 4 days before Christmas. This means there is only one day until my 19th birthday. i am very excited for my birthday this year because I finally have someone to celebrate with.
When my sister Elizabeth was alive she'd sneak out before I was awake and disappear for days, when she returned she would have dark circles under her eyes and her walk would be unsteady.
My birthday always seemed to be upsetting because mom and dad left us only a day after. that was the first time we spent Christmas alone. That Christmas was the first time Liz overdosed, but luckily I was smart enough to actually call an ambulance at that age. I called fast enough to have the pills pumped out of her stomach before she actually died. That day was also the day I made my first cut onto my right arm. I remember the day vividly. The day we realized that mom and dad were never gonna come back home. We just completely lost hope in everything, even ourselves. After that Christmas, we never celebrated ever again.
A few days after Christmas Elizabeth appeared, she had been gone for 2 days. When she walked into my room she smelt of the strongest alcohol and I could see purple lines and scars on the inside of her elbow. heroine injections. I didn't know it at the time because I was a uneducated child. but what I did know was that my sweet sister was gone. After that, I caught her sniffing cocaine and smoking blunts 24/7. she dropped out of school and then we got our lip pierced together. But I let mine close up a few days later.

These days I remind myself of my sister. I re-pierced my lip and there are dark circles under my eyes. Luke tells me I need more sleep, but I can't stop thinking about stupid stuff that shouldn't bother me when it's time to sleep.
Michael has a girlfriend now, her name is Layla. She has a nose piercing and Michael tells me he thinks it's cute. he got mad when I asked if I should get a nose piercing when we were dating. But Ash, Luke, and Cal told him he can't bring her on tour. I'm happy about that, she kinda annoys me.
Ashton refuses to get a girlfriend because he doesn't want anyone else insisting on coming on tour with us.
Calum spends his time with friends at old bars. He has many love interests but can't settle for one, so he stays with none.
The boys are so excited to leave for the tour and honestly so am I.
They are also very excited for Christmas. Ashton told me it was his favorite holiday.

Lately I have been hearing the boys whispering in the kitchen, talking about what they are gonna do for my birthday. They don't think I can hear them, but I can hear everything they say.

Now, let's talk about Luke. he is the nicest and sweetest person I have ever met. It gets very cold in our room at night so he snuggles me until we both fall asleep. When he looks at me he blushes and bites on his lip ring, I imitate him, doing the same. When he kisses me his lips are soft and sweet. He's taller than me so when we kiss I have to tilt my head back a lot. But, I love him more than anything else in this world. He's the stars in my sky. I can't stand the loneliness I feel when his fingers aren't intertwined with mine. We spend a lot of time together. I stopped going to school and now I'm under the dropout bracket so we can go on adventures every day. Yesterday he brought me to a strange town I have never heard of and we saw a concert, everyone at that concert was high, including us, so we stayed in town for the night because it was too dangerous to drive home.

Calum hasn't been doing well these days. He's been smoking cigarettes out back, sometimes I go out and join him so he doesn't feel so lonely. I've been noticing the circles under his eyes match up with mine. He hasn't been getting any sleep. His clothes smell of vodka and cigarette smoke. He leaves his hair curly now. I think he has to get away for awhile. The tour will be good for him.

Ashton has been doing well, he's been the same as always but a little bit sad lately because he had to break up with his girlfriend Bryana.

I rarely see Michael these days. He is always with Layla. They do the same thing everyday. The run into the house giggling and then run up to Michael's room. You could probably imagine what they are doing up there, so I'm not gonna tell you. He recently got a new tattoo on his hip. it's an arrow heart with Layla's name in it. (of course.) He was definitely drunk when he got it. Him and Layla are high half the time.

Luke planned on taking me to a hotel on the night of my birthday so we can spend some more time together, but then Ash, Cal, and Mike got mad because they wanted to be included on the birthday plans.
I've never had so many people care for me before. I love my boys.

I hear people whisper about me when I go out. Talking about how I dropped out of school, added more scars onto my wrists, and pierced a hole right below my bottom lip. I wear my hair down often. Occasionally I put it in a side ponytail on the top of my head. Luke and I share one cigarette a day, it makes us feel good.
Luke gets stopped by fans on a daily basis, so we don't go out very much.
We stay at home most of the time, unless the boys have a gig or something. But I don't mind.
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OH MY GOSH HI!! I'm sorry this chapter was kinda short, the others will be longer. also I hope you liked the fast forward into the future. it will all carry on from here. also I know this is kinda confusing because this chapter was the first chapter of "Being Unpredictable" but then it was really bothering me that I didn't just have it all in one so now it's all back in Waking With Amnesia
:)
-S
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