The Perfectly Imperfect Life of a Muslimah #wattys2015

24) Feelings & Embarrassment

السلام عليكم

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Chapter Name: 24-Feelings and Embarrassment

Note: Make sure you aren't forgetting or postponing any prayer before reading. Remember prayer always comes first! The chapter will always be here, time for prayer won't.

Mariah Malik's P.O.V

"Not bad" I said as I sat on the bed, sighing. I nodded in satisfaction as I looked at my 'new room' It was nothing compared to my previous one.

Not because it was any less decorative, I had put my full efforts trying my hardest to make it as similar to my room back in London, but it wasn't home. It could never be .

I walked across the room and stood before my window. The view outside seemed so lifeless, same old buildings stood under the blazing sun. Not a person walking, Nothing but tall palm trees stood monitoring every passing vehicle. It was a place which should have brought peace to my heart, but it didn't.

I felt trapped. I knew Haya had woken up and I was ever so thankful. How could she not have, after all those prayers I did for her recovery. Only my heart and my God knows.

It had been fourty-seven days. Fourty seven days of loneliness.

I still didn't have it in me to call her. As much as I wanted to, I couldn't. I might be known as the courageous Mariah, but inside this confident hijabi is a scared teenager who has no control over how life is treating her. This fragile girl did not have the courage to call her best fried nor dare to hear the pain in her voice. She just didn't have it in her.

I felt overwhelmed at this point not knowing what terrified me more the fact that I couldn't leave my house alone or that I didn't have any friend.

My train of thoughts were interrupted by a beep, indicating a message.

It was from an unknown number. It read:

"Welcome to Riyadh, Saudi Arabia. Get ready for an experience you'll never forget."

Haya's P.O.V

Finals were approaching and I knew for a fact that I needed to work very hard if I intended to pass. It' has been 47 days since Mariah left and not a single text. Whenever I tried to ask Yousuf about them he would always dodge the situation. I don't think it was effecting me any longer because I felt numb now.

Apart from that, life has kept me occupied in every way, everyday. From weekly Appointments till late night assignments. It's just my way of co-oping with life.

Ignorance.

Dad and mom have gone for some tour, knowing their daughter is facing a critical stage in life. Like they always say, priorities...right?

As I walk into the school gym the only thought encircling my mind is if Mariah misses me or maybe she is good at hiding her feelings, like me.

"Ouch, Sorry.." I look back to find Ryan turned around and looking at me too.

"Look who it is" He says running a hand through his hair.

"Hey" I say, forcing a smile.

His eyebrows lift in confusion "Everything fine?"

For a moment I thought that I was that easy to read. What happened to being great at masking emotions ? I knew I was good at that.

I nod my head ecstatically.

"Well, then why are you in the boys gym?" He asks with a teasing smile.

I sighed firstly, relaxed that my acting skills are still on point but not long passed before
I quickly looked up and saw a team of boys paused in the middle of their game, staring at me.

Why can't this earth swallow me as a whole?!

My expression must have said it all because Ryan had the potential to answer "Ah, yes to clear your doubts you are kind of interrupting our game."

observing my embarrassed reaction he continued, "But I don't mind, if this is how we were going to meet then I wouldn't have minded even if you walked in on our national game."

If there was a ward for embarrassment then I would have won first place. Oh how badly I wished Haya was here. Before I realized, I had tears streaming down my face.
So I ran.

I slid down the bathroom door, crying and continued to cry. I let out all that I had pushed away all those fourty seven days, it needed to be out. I had to let it out now.

After crying my heart out and making sure no tear stains were visible I made my way out of the bathroom.

To my surprise, Ryan sat on the floor his head held in between his hands. As soon as he heard the door shut he looked my way.

"Listen Haya, I'm so sorry. I didn't mean to insult you. None of it was intentional. I hope you are not upset with me. See i'll do anything to make up for that moment just don't get angry at me. seriously I didn't mean to embarrass you. So please Haya forgive me." He ranted, ending his short speech with a cute puppy dog face.

Mariah used to make those....I stared at him for a minute too long.

Then I laughed. A proper laugh, it felt great to express myself.

Ryan's expressions softened and his lips slowly stretched into a half smile and soon we were both laughing. After a few minutes of me laughing genuinely and him laughing at my laugh, Ryan questioned. "Why are we laughing?"

"You are so sweet you know? I didn't cry because of what happend in there. I do agree that it was one above the most embarrassing incidents of my life, but what brought these tears was the memory of my best friend."I said looking down.

"Yep I know how sweet I am. And i'm very sad to hear about your best friend's dea--"

"No No No No No! She isn't dead! God forbid! " I shouted.

Ryan raised his hands up in defense taking a few steps back.

"It's alright I most probably made it seem that way. Actually she moved away...far far away."

I could feel his gaze on me for a little longer than my comfort level before he spoke and left me speechless.

"People don't stay in your life permanently, Haya, but that doesn't mean that you push away what can be yours permanently."

With that he walked away, with that he left me wandering, with that the bell rang and and with that I stood in the hallway one among many, smiling once again.

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#unedited