You Hate That You Love Me [Andy Biersack]

I'll Call You Every Single Fucking Day.

The ride to the air port is silent. Ashley and CC came with me to drop me off while Jinxx stayed with Jake back on the bus. He's still not talking to CC and it's been a week. Andy's been staying in the bunk room by himself unless on stage with the guys so we've all had to move into the living area of the bus to sleep at night, but none of us know where he is. After we told Jake I was going to fly to LA he stormed out of the bunk room and left the bus. That was last night.

We haven't seen him since.

I'm trying not to cry the entire drive. All of this is my fault. CC and Jake aren't talking because of me, Ashley and Andy aren't talking because of me, Jinxx didn't get the awesome tour he wanted because of me, CC is leaving because of me... the band is falling apart because of me. 

I stare out the window in the back seat. CC is driving a rental car that he got from a rental car place near the venue where BVB will be performing tonight. It's rainy again today, something I've noticed is pretty standard for this part of the UK. Ashley is sitting next to me in the back and I don't turn to face him until I feel him take my hand in his. I tear my eyes away from the passing scenery to look him in his big, sad brown eyes.

He seems to have aged so much since the tour started. He seems more quiet and down trodden, like all of this has taken a huge tole on him both emotionally and physically. I sigh and unbuckle my seat belt. I move so that I'm sitting with my legs curled up underneath me and I rest my head on his shoulder.

"Hey," I whisper. CC has the radio on and he's listening to a mixed station playing a song from some UK rock band. They're good and he's paying too much attention to the drum technique the artist used to care about us, but I feel the need to whisper anyway. 

"Hey," he whispers back. He looks down at me and offers a sad smile which I return with one of my own. "So, everything of yours is packed, right?" he asks. I nod. We bought a suitcase and I packed enough merch t-shirts to last about five years and four pairs of jeans that Ashley, CC and I bought before leaving for the air port. I also have one of Ashley's vests and a hoodie of CC's, one of Jake's guitar picks on a necklace that's around my neck and money from Jinxx to get a tattoo of his name on me when I get back to LA.

"Yes dad," I say in an attempt to lighten the mood. Ashley chuckles lightly and I smile for real back up at him.

"You have the key I gave you, right?" he asks. I nod and untuck the necklace with Jake's guitar pick from underneath my shirt. Beside the guitar pick is the key to Ashley's apartment. 

"And yes, I have the address written down so that I know where to tell the taxi driver to go," I say. Ashley laughs for real this time.

"You know me so well," he says. I giggle.

"Of course I do," I reply. 

"We're here," CC says. He pulls up to the side of the drop off area by the gate for United Airlines and puts the car in park. "I'll stay out here if you want."

Ashley gets out and starts to take my stuff out of the trunk while I lean forward and rest my chin on CC's shoulder.

"Thanks for taking me," I say. "Make sure to keep in touch, okay?"

"Of course," he says. "I'm leaving the band, not your life."

"We're hanging out when you get back to LA," I say. He smiles.

"Duh," he says. I laugh and roll my eyes before pecking him on the cheek. 

"I'll see you when you get back," I say before hopping out of the car. CC waves as Ashley and I walk up to the doors. Ashley takes my hand in his and does the honor of checking my bag for my flight with the guy outside. Once that's all done he leads me inside to the security line. 

"I'll miss you," he says. I roll my eyes.

"It'll only be for a few weeks or something and then you'll be coming back for a few days before Warped," I laugh. "It'll be okay."

"I'll call you every single fucking day," he says. "I promise."

"And I promise I'll pick up," I giggle. He smiles and I lean up quickly to press a quick, chaste kiss on his lips. Before he can say anything I walk through the metal detector and grab my phone from the conveyer belt which took it through the X-Ray machine thing. "Bye, Ash. Love you."

"Love you too," he says, his eyes almost glassy. I giggle and turn, chewing on my bottom lip.

Why did I do that? I shouldn't have. But I did. And I kind of liked it.

I turn back to Ashley who's standing in the middle of the crowd of bustling people, staring at the floor, two fingers pressed to his lips lightly. I smile to myself and turn, ticket in hand, and begin to search for my gate. I'm late because Ashley refused to buy me a pair of ripped jeans that I really wanted (and then ended up buying them for me anyway after I did my puppy dog face) so I need to hurry. I spot my gate and see that one of the last few people are handing their tickets to the flight attendants.

For a moment I think I hear someone call my name and I freeze. In my mind I imagine myself turning around and seeing Andy running down the corridor, pushing people out of his way. He'd see me and run with his arms open, and I'd run to hime, jumping into his arms. He'd spin me around and everything would slow down as he slowly set me back down and leaned down, pressing his lips to mine. He'd tell me that he loves me and that he doesn't want me to leave...

Someone bumping into me snaps me out of my daydream and I sigh, running towards the gate. I swear I hear someone call my name again but I brush it off and practically throw my ticket at the flustered flight attendant. She frowns at me and scans it before nodding for me to walk onto the plane. I walk into the little passage to the plane and she shuts the door behind me.

I sigh and walk onto the plane. There are only a few seats left and I chose one by the window. I sneak by the sleeping business man and sit down, buckling my seat belt. I sigh and grab my phone.

To: Ashley

The plane's about to take off. I'll text you when I get to LA <3

I turn my phone off and grab my iPod, putting my earphones in. As the plane begins to cruise away from the runway I close my eyes and choke back a sob.

Why would I ever think that Andy would come back for me?

I'm sorry it's been so long guys but I've been busy and stuff and yeah... lol so I'm going to see BVB on July 10 at Warped Tour and I'm so excited :D hehe and I'll try to update more often!! Don't hate me after this chapter pls...