Who Says I'm a Bad Girl?

Chapter 3

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“Take that you mother fuc…” the door opened before I could bad mouth the idiot I had just destroyed on Mario. I’am the Queen of Mario!!!!

“When you have quite finished cursing and killing the body God gave you, your mother and I are waiting downstairs".

I smiled sweetly at Sam, “I’ll be right down” and watched him sigh at the cigarette in my hand before leaving my bedroom.

I hated when he came into my bedroom, it was my bat cave and I didn’t like the way his eyes judged every detail in of my room.  The walls were a slightly pale silver colour and covered with posters of my favourite bands and singers; my stereo rested underneath the window with my rather large CD collection left in a pile on the floor next to it.  I had a pale laminate floor, which at the moment could not be seen as most of my wardrobe was scattered across the floor. My bed was a single and the black and white covers were hanging over the edge, with the pillows ruffled and the sheets creased.  More clothes rested on top of the bed which would just end up on the floor as soon as I could get to sleep.

 My wardrobe was to the right side of my bed and the doors were open showing my impression of folding clothes.  My desk which I was sat at was absolutely trashed; there were papers, cans, pencils strewn over the wooded surface that left just enough room for my laptop.  I spun on my chair to stare at the wall at the back of my bed; i had painted it black myself and over time had added spray painting designs, pictures of me and friends,  random doodles and things I had picked up over my life. I laughed to myself at the image of my mum finding it painted black, she was not happy and had thought I was trying to express the darkness inside of me.  I was trying to express myself; I was expressing what it meant to be me.

I do admit that my room was always like this, my mum had tried many times to get me to clean up but when I don’t want to do something I will not do it. Fine, ok I will admit it; I Erika Harley have a room like a slob! Happy now?

I took one last drag from my cigarette before putting crushing the lit tip on the surface of my ash tray, which was another thing that really needed to be tidied. I casually waked out my bedroom and down the stairs, this ‘family meeting’ would be another intervention of my behaviour; I would nod and apologise but nothing would change. I’m not a bad person; I just always ended up in bad situations.  

I found Sam and my mother sitting facing each other at the dining table, which meant I would have to take the seat at the head of the table in-between them both. My mum looked so disappointed and stressed that it made my chest ache; guilt I think is what they call it. Sam spoke first “Erika, your mother loves you very much and so do I but this behaviour cannot go on”.

“Look Sam I was just at a party having some fun, I wasn’t looking for any trouble,” Sam shook his head “that maybe so but the police told us that you were drinking underage and had traces of Cannabis on you.” I leant forward, shock filling my face “well that’s a load of rubbish, seeing as I never had time to put the thing to my lips.”

“Drugs now Erika? What else is going on in this dangerous life of yours?” it was the first time my mum had spoken to me and the dark tone of her voice sacred me slightly. Sure my mum had shouted at me before but never when I looked at her had seen her so, well so angry. I sighed and looked and her kindly “mum, drugs are not a constant thing with me. I’m not some druggie so please don’t worry.” Her small soft hand encased mine as she leant closer to me, her eyes had softened to show just how much she worried for me; “I do worry, every single day and I’ve let it go on for this long thinking you would grow up and change”. She looked at Sam for a moment who nodded and then back to me, I had a feeling there was something coming that I wasn’t going to like. “I need to think about your future Erika seeing as you won’t,”

“That’s not true, I want to go traveling and teach self-defence to teenagers,” I slipped my hands out from my mums when she sighed at my idea; they were what I was aiming for in life and it hurt that she didn’t approve. Sam joined the conversation “how will traveling happen when you don’t have any money seeing as you refuse to get a job? And teaching self-defence looks unlikely, because parents won’t want their teenagers in a room with someone who has police record bigger than the bible.” He was over exaggerating but still it annoyed the hell out of me, I glared at Sam “keep comments like that too yourself otherwise I will punch them back inside of you.” Sam shook his head at my words and just as I clenched my fist and was about to drive into his face my mum softly spoke my name.

I clenched my teeth while looking at the table; I felt her hand grip my shoulder which seemed to force the anger out of me. I relaxed back into the chair and looked at my mum and the next words she spoke shocked me more than I could realise “I’ve spoken to your dad and he wants to help”.

Those words forced me up and out of the chair. I marched over to the door but turned back round to face my now standing mum and Sam, “Dad? Why the hell would you speak to him?”  My mother crossed her arms, not in a way that showed she was frustrated but that she thought she was right in this matter. “I rang him when you came out of juvenile prison last month and when you got expelled I called him again. He wants to help you and I think that I should let him, he is your father after all!”

My body was burning in ager and shock “did you just call him my father? His name is Jake and he will never be my father. How can he when he didn’t love us to stick around?” My mum flinched at my words but I was too far gone in anger to care; Sam spoke up “do not speak to your mother that way Erika” I raised my middle finger at him and high tailed up to my room.

………………………………….

I had a serious hangover, my head was pounding and I was sure that at any moment I was going to be sick. In case you’re wondering, no I did not stay in my room; as soon as I slammed the door shut I got changed, jumped out my window and was at the nearest party with my friends. I had gotten absolutely drunk last night and it had worked to numb the word ‘dad’ but now I was left lying in bed remembering everything my mum had said with one heavy head.

Nausea swoon over came me and I dragged myself out of the bed and ran to the bathroom. Only when I had finished emptying my stomach did I realised I was butt naked, I looked down at myself and raised my eyebrows in thought and confusion.  The house was silent and I slightly enjoyed the cool air of the bathroom against my hot skin. Then a thought suddenly hit me, which is why I slowly walked back to my room and laughed lightly when I saw Neil sleeping in my bed. I laughed at his sleeping face which consisted of his mouth hanging open; trying not to wake him I grabbed a clean bra and knickers then a white tank top and black ripped jeans. Making way back to the bathroom I threw my clean clothes on the chair and switched on the shower.

After the amazing shower, I got changed and made my way back to my bedroom where Neil had just started to wake up. He was sitting up which gave me a nice view of his shapely upper body, “morning Neil” he jumped when I spoke but a smirk lit his face when he put two and two together. “We had sex last night,” I sat on my bed and shook my head at him “yes we did and now I’m afraid I need you to get out”. He pouted “what no breakfast?” I picked up his pants and threw them at his head, “no now get out”.

I laid down on the bed to rest my sore head and watched him get changed; Neil had a nice body, he was thin with only a few muscles but he sure knew how to make a lady enjoy her night, well from what I could remember. He pulled his t-shirt over his head and smiled at me “you know I’m sure you only use me for my body,” I laughed while nodding “you got that right”.