Creature Feature

The Curse of Vampire Fruit

Dear friends of the Crypt, we promise we are not running out of subjects, nor are we pulling this off a hat. In fact, the chilling story we are about to tell you about is well documented by ethnologist Tatomir P. Vukanović, a researcher dedicated to record folktales of the Balkan region and customs and tales of the Roma (gypsies). Google that man up, we might be blood crazed fiends, but we are not liars. Whether or not those who told him this terrible, blood curdling tale of green menace were pulling his leg, is still to be verified.

Imagine if you will, watermelons. Juicy, tender, red fountain of sweetness, and quite refreshing. Now, imagine not having time to harvest them all and leaving a few, unattended, left to rot in the field. Maybe some of the local rodents will feast (they also have the right to a treat once in a while). But, maybe, just maybe, as the sun sets and the moon rises, that silvery light works its way into our innocent watermelon and changes it... from the inside.

What is it that exactly turns a watermelon into a blood thirsty vampire? Besides Balkans magic, one might think that the frustration of being left behind boils into a crimson rage. Who knows? In the end, the neglectful farmer might pay the consequences.

It is said that the vampiric melons rolls back through fields and dusty roads to hide in said farmers barn. Their attack is not so stealthy though, as the angry fruit makes gurgling sounds and groans as it attacks. Malevolent as they might be though, there is not much harm other than making farmers trip and fall. All these vampires can do is roll and scream in frustration, while waiting for someone to be dumb enough as to bleed on them. Apparently, boiling the undead fruit lifts the curse from these wretched watermelons, but renders them not apt for human consumption.

As ridiculous as it sounds, there is something that ties this little tale to the other, better, scarier vampires of the region: once the undead rises, it will return home. Home is always the site of first bloodletting for vampires in the Balkans.

PS: In order to recognize all vampires, great and small, as a side note, we will add that turnips and pumpkins have also been victims of said curse; specially if harvested and not consumed by Christmas night.