Paint You Wings

Locked Behind Your Chamber Doors When You Felt Frisky

Alex,

The pass year we're together had been the best times of my life. Every single day spent with you had never failed to make me smile. And I LOVE YOU for that. I could never say it enough times.

Love, Juliet

I held the love letter that Juliet supposedly wrote for me, as well as the others that she's sent me. It took me a while to register the fact that Juliet was my girlfriend. She WAS my girlfriend. Now it all make sense. That explains the feelings I had for her. They never left. I guess I loved her until now.

What I didn't understand was why she didn't tell me anything. How come she never told me, nor acted like we had a past. What happened with the two of us anyway?

I was planning to ask my parents about it, but because of today I think they had enough. So I decided to ask Juliet myself.

I came back home about a week later. I went straight to my room and checked out the painting I did of Juliet. I still don't believe that we were together in some point of our lives. I've been having the urge to talk to her, but I never did get her number. Stupid of me, I know. But that's 'cause I was being a good boyfriend to Stacey. Stacey. Oh yeah, I have something to tell her.

I was debating whether to talk to her on the phone or in person. I realized this may end up with us breaking up so I wanted to do it face to face. Okay, not really. I just didn't want to seem like an asshole, but I bet I already am to her.

I dialed her number and she picked up the after the fourth ring. "Hey, Stacey, we need to meet up and talk." Damn, I sounded too obvious. Not the tone I was going for.

"Alex, there's something wrong, is it?" One of the things I like about her, and possibly dislike in times like these, is that she can already tell what's in your head.

"It's not that bad-"

"You haven't called me for two weeks. You barely replied to my texts. You're always late to our dates." Okay, maybe it does sound bad, if she put it that way. "You wanna break up?" It sounded more like a statement rather than a question.

"Stacey, I'm so sorry." I sighed.

"It's her, isn't it?" Stacey didn't sound mad, nor okay with it either.

It took me a second to answer. Actually, I didn't want to answer her question. But she's right. "Yup," I said, almost a whisper. Now I definitely reached total asshole mode. I treated Stacey really bad. I asked her out, then became the opposite of a perfect boyfriend. "Stacey, I understand if you're mad at me."

"Oh, I'm not mad."

"Really? You know you've always been the coolest-"

"I'm not mad, Alex, 'cause I saw it coming." She sighed, but I could hear a bit of pain in her voice.

"I'm really sorry." At that point, I wanted to literally die on the ground.

"I'm sorry too, Alex. I hope you're finally happy with whoever she is." I could hear her silent cries. "Bye Alex." Then she hung up.

Instead of feeling sad or relieved, I felt angry. I was mad, at myself. How can you be so stupid, Alex? I deserved to feel this shitty. I deserved whatever Stacey feels about me, which is most likely hatred. Then again, I couldn't blame myself for falling for Juliet. We've known each other since, and apparently we've dated and lasted a year. Goddammit, Juliet. You were driving me crazy when you were a stranger, and you're still driving me crazy when I finally knew who you really are.

"Wait, back it up there for a second. This mysterious girl who appeared in your dreams out of nowhere, is your ex?" Rian asked, sounding confused.

"Well that makes perfect sense," Jack mumbled. I've only met the guys after I moved here, which is after I was in a coma. So, they don't know anything in my past, including Juliet.

"It does!" I exclaimed. "Do you know what this means? I can actually gain my memory back!"

"That's great!" Zack said. "But is that all you remember?"

I nodded. "Sadly, yes."

"But seriously, when do we finally get to meet this Juliet of yours?" Jack asked.

"Umm... As soon as I get a hold of her."

"What? You don't have her number?" Jack asked.

"I was dating Stacey, okay?" The rest of the guys shrugged their shoulders in sync.

I figured the best way to see Juliet, is to just wait for her to come by. Actually, it's the only way to get a hold of her. I was walking down the paper towel aisle at the grocery store when an elder lady, maybe in her eighties, kept staring at me. I ignored it at first, but it started getting uncomfortable in my part. I picked up two different paper towels and was absent-mindedly debating which one to get. "You should get the super absorbent one, if I were you." I looked up to see that the lady was the one who said it.

"Uhh... Okay?" I stood awkwardly. "Thanks, I guess." I tossed the paper towel in my cart and kept on walking.

"Oh, and by the way, sweetie, will you please get a haircut? It looks like a mop on your head."

"First, you tell me which paper towel to get, now you tell me to get a haircut?" I mumbled to myself.

"What's that?"

I turned back to her. "Nothing!" Then I heard a soft giggle.

"That lady just wanted you to get a haircut," Juliet said.

"So did my mom, but I ain't getting one. My hair's perfectly fine."

Juliet made a face. "Er..."

I rolled my eyes. "I've been waiting for you to come by at the house. Your brother's painting is ready."

"Cool!" Her face lit up. "I can't wait to see it. But I'm gonna be gone for the next few days, so you might just wanna contact my brother instead."

"You're leaving? To where?"

"New York. I wanted to check out their publishing companies that might hire me. If they do, I can permanently work there."

If she really is leaving, then I need to tell her everything that I found out the past days, including how I feel about her. "Hey, wanna get some lunch?"

Juliet and I drove to the nearest diner. I really just wanted to blurt it all out. Starting with how she didn't tell me that we had a past. "Juliet?" I made sure to look her in the eye.

"Yes, Alex?"

"Why didn't you tell me that we dated before? How come you've never mentioned about the two of us? What happened with me before I went into coma?" There were more questions I wanted answers to. But I didn't want to overwhelm her.

She let out a long breath that she seemed to be holding in for a long time. "How'd you find out?"

"I asked you the questions first."

She slowly nodded. "Because I didn't wanna bring up the past. I don't want you to remember what happened before."

"But that's what I'm trying to remember, Juliet. Whatever happened before was that bad?" She shut her eyes. "Because it didn't seem like it. We looked so happy in those pictures. And those letters you wrote? I bet I wrote them back to you." I held her hand tight, like I never want her to leave.

"Alex, I can't tell you. It's better off this way."

"Why do you keep saying that?" I tried to calm myself, but it didn't work. "If you're worried I'm gonna freak or something-"

"You'll figure it out yourself, eventually. But don't say I didn't warn you." She didn't say it in a threatening tone. It was more like she felt bad for me.

"Juliet, you know how hard it is to not remember anything from your past? To feel completely lost when everyone else seem to know what happened to you?"

Her round eyes bore into mine. "But why is it so important for you to know what happened between us?"

I entwined our fingers together. "Because I was obviously in love with you before." I held her gaze. "And I still am."