Chapter 35

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No One's Point of View:

Staring back at the brunette lying on her stomach with her hair splayed out around her in a heaped mess as she slept peacefully, Justin felt the aching in his chest grow.

The haunting words of the promise he had made lingered in the air suffocating Justin of every breath he had, his thoughts consuming him entirely.

With nothing adorning his torso, Justin scratched at his bare chest as he stood from the bed, cursing as it squeaked before walking out of the confines of his bedroom and down the stairs that led to the now vacant living room.

Shuffling his way through to the patio doors leading outside from the kitchen, Justin stepped out into the fresh air, letting the cold in as it stung his lungs.

Grabbing onto the railing, Justin leaned into his hands as he stared out ahead, inhaling and exhaling deeply, trying to find something, anything to capture his attention from the thoughts that could very much end him if he'd let them to.

Justin had promised one thing-to keep her safe and now he was beginning to believe he couldn't even do that anymore.

Grasping his head into his hands, Justin wiped the frustration out of his face as he vigorously tugged at the ends of his hair, staring up into the world wondering where in the world it all went wrong.

"I didn't expect to find you out here," Justin didn't even bother to turn around as he excessively rubbed his neck.

"Yeah, well, I didn't expect to choose between my girl and mom either but I guess weird shit happens every day." Justin absentmindedly bit back in a snarl as he narrowed his eyes at the dark sky, cursing the day he ever let himself feel for another person.

Maybe if he would have just given up a long time ago, none of this would've happened.

Maybe.

"I know you're mad at the world right now but taking it out on me won't change what happened." Bruce stood a foot away from Justin, hands stuffed into the pockets of his jeans. Dark circles were evident under his eyes as he tiredly fought the need to crawl back to bed and sleep for all eternity.

"Oh God," Justin growled under his breath, "This feels like déjà vu."

Bruce chuckled. "I wonder why."

Justin shot him a glare before relaxing, his shoulders slumping. "I just don't know what to do anymore. Every time I think things are turning out good, something comes to bite me in the ass to remind me that nothing will ever change-our life is permanently a nightmare."

"At this point, nothing I say or do will make a difference anymore because you're right." Bruce admitted with a shrug of his shoulders, "But we can't act surprised when something like this happens because we knew this was our fate the moment we gave in. We gave up our lives-we gave up normalcy-the moment we determined our fate."

"I don't want this for her." Justin whispered, "This is my call, my decisions... she shouldn't be punished for the mistakes I've made."

"You're not the only one who's made mistakes Justin. I've had my fair share of fuck-ups. We're not perfect. We grow and learn from it and move on. The more you waste time thinking about how things could be different; you're letting your life pass you by."

"What life?" Justin laughed bitterly as he gestured all around him with open arms, "Huh? You call this a life? This is a death wish. We're basically asking God to kill us in the process of giving the ones we love over to the devil."

"We can't stop living our lives because we're afraid of what's going to happen. Regardless if we were in a gang or not, there's always a chance that the moment somebody walks outside that they could be hit by a car or shot at. We can't choose how our lives turn up but we can fucking try to make something out of it. I'm tired of sitting around waiting for this shit to end. It's never going to end and it's about time you accept it."

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